Second Date
by sultal
Summary: DATES! The ladies of Disney World want DATES! The dudes have no idea what a date is, but figure a night OUTSIDE the Magic Kingdom is a good idea. All of this - right on time for The Darlings to refuse Wendy from seeing that riff-raff-street-rat Peter Pan. Ships: peter/wendy, jim/ariel, rapunzel/flynn, villains/and evil ;)
1. Chapter 1: Riff Raff! Street Rat!

**Chapter 1: Riff Raff! Street Rat!**

It suddenly occurred to Mr. and Mrs. Darling:

"Peter Pan is a riff raff! Street rat!"

"Ohhhh…" Mickey Mouse replied. " _I don't buy that_! Ha-huh!" Happily, Mickey winked at his magical entourage of friends. "Get it? The movie line? From _Aladdin_?"

"Good one Mic!" said Goofy.

"Kkkkkcheeeeheeheeheehee!" cackled Donald Duck.

"Very witty!" agreed Minnie Mouse.

"Arf!" Pluto said.

The Darlings were not amused. Neither was Captain Hook.

"Permit me, _dear_ mouse, to clarify." Captain Hook swept between the Darlings. His reflection gleamed across the golden floors of Cinderella's Castle. "Tis a very delicate matter. Please, open your fantastically oversized ears."

 _Ooooo._ Donald, Goofy, and Pluto cringed. _Point Captain Hook._

"Okie dokie." Mickey wriggled a finger inside his ear. "Shoot! Why is Peter Pan a riff raff, street rat?"

Minnie bounced on her hot magenta heels. _Go Mickey baby. Go!_

Captain Hook's moustache curled into devil's horns. "That boy is a flying rat! A ne'er do well imp that leads a raucous band of ruffians, cavorts with pixies and heathens, cuts pirates to pieces, and arbitrates his destiny to never grow up. Oh rue that _blasted_ red-headed-pointy-eared-green-tight-wearing-dagger wielding deviant of Disney!"

Mickey lifted his chin, waiting. Donald and Goofy gave Captain Hook two more points: the rant was impressive.

"Annnnnnnnd…" Mickey prompted. "So far ya've summarized the movie _Peter Pan_ …"

Donald, Goofy, and Pluto high fived. _Point Mickey!_

"So what's the problem?" Mickey Mouse asked.

"Perhaps," Captain Hook leered at Donald and Goofy. "You've forgotten: Peter Pan also snatches young ladies from their bedrooms. At night. Scantily dressed."

Deliberately, Captain Hook glanced to Mr. and Mrs. Darling. " _Unsupervised_."

 _Yikes._ Minnie thought _. Not good. Be careful Mickey!_

"Unsupervised?" Mickey scratched his ears, this time because he was confused. "We're talking about Wendy, right?"

"Yes!" Mrs. Darling gushed. "Yes, Mickey Mouse! Yes! My poor little Wendy! My baby! You see, every day she roams _The Magic Kingdom_ –"

"—with that rascal Peter Pan!" boomed Mr. Darling.

"—dancing, greeting children, playing hide and seek – " continued Mrs. Darling.

"—with that rascal Peter Pan!"

"—until very, very late at night!" blubbered Mrs. Darling. "Performing in the light show, watching the fireworks, farewelling the _Disney World_ visitors – "

"—with that rascal Peter Pan!"

"—and the next day it's the same thing!" Mrs. Darling gasped, faint with horror. "Dancing, singing, fireworks, and games – "

Mr. Darling shook his fists. "—WITH THAT RASCAL PETER PAN!"

Donald, Goofy, and Pluto blinked. They didn't know who should get the point, but considered giving it to Mr. Darling.

Mickey rubbed his jaw. He considered the Darlings. "Mary. George. Didn't ya watch the movie? Wendy told ya what happened. In detail. Ya saw it. As a matter of fact – "

Mickey spread his hands. "—ya lived it!"

 _Yup_. Donald, Goofy, and Pluto agreed. _Point Mickey_. _Score was 2 to 3, advantage Hook._

"Ya should know…" Mickey continued, trying to reason with the hysterical Darlings. "Peter and Wendy are good friends. Good friends, very compatible. Why in pop culture they've even become something of a couple – "

Mrs. Darling clutched her chest. Mr. Darling gagged. Captain Hook raised a brow.

"—and as a matter of fact!" Mickey hopped in his throne. _Boy oh boy was he on a roll!_ "That's why I paired Wendy with Peter in their _Disney World_ duties! Kids love them! Plus, Peter protects Wendy from… _certain parties_ …"

Mickey glared at Captain Hook. Donald, Goofy, and Pluto awarded Mickey another point to tie the score.

"So, tell me." Mickey Mouse smiled kindly at the Darlings. "Why the fuss?"

"Well!" Mr. Darling huffed and Mrs. Darling earnestly nodded. "As Captain Hook explained to us – "

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." said Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, and Pluto. It was all beginning to make sense. _Captain Hook the slimeball plays the vendetta card again._

"Mr. and Mrs. Darling." Mickey surveyed the Darlings over invisible spectacles. "Wendy is a good girl. Very sweet. Very bright. Don't you trust your daughter?"

The Darlings stammered, a little loss for words.

Minnie smiled: _Mickey had that effect on people. It was a mouse thing._

"I should think." Captain Hook interceded, leaning as to whisper in Mrs. Darling's ear. "That Peter Pan and little Wendy's…ohhhhh, how do I say this delicately?... _involvement_ is quite improper."

"Quite!" Mr. Darling spluttered, finding his voice. "Yes! Yes! Quite! _Imm-proper_! Boy never asked my say so in the matter! Never once knocked on the door, asking how'd you do! Just jumped through her nursery window in the dead of night and…and…oh dear God…"

Realizing the atrociousness of his statement, Mr. Darling clutched his wife for support. "…oh dear God! Love England and save the queen!"

Imploringly, Mrs. Darling wrung her hands. "Oh please Mickey Mouse! Please! _End_ this Peter Pan nonsense! Won't you please, pardon Wendy from her _Magic Kingdom_ errands?"

"No can do Mic!" Goofy lifted a finger as Donald produced an officially stamped document. "She's a main character, _ah-hyuck_! She's under contract! Signed by Walt Disney himself! She's _gotta_ perform for the little kiddles!"

"Yeah!" Donald stuck his tongue at Captain Hook. "She's gotta perform! Kkkkkcheeheeheehee!"

"I'd be delighted to replace Peter Pan." Captain Hook wickedly smiled. "And escort Miss Wendy through the _Disney World_ parks."

"Huh?" Goofy stuttered.

"Aroof?" Pluto said.

"WHAT!?" Donald squawked.

Minnie and Mickey traded uneasy glances. _Uh oh._

"Would you?!" Mrs. Darling pressed Captain Hook's hand (his good one) to her chest. "Oh dearest captain! Would you watch my little Wendy?"

"The pleasure…" Gallantly, Captain Hook bowed. "Is all mine."

"HA!" Donald blurted before Goofy and Pluto could clamp his beak.

Captain Hook restrained his ire, but Donald was next on his _Victims-To-Walk-The-Plank_ list. Soothingly, Captain Hook patted Mrs. Darling's wrist. "Wendy may accompany myself and Smee. With the Pixie Hollow fairies."

Minnie rolled her eyes. _Even better._

"Is…" Mickey Mouse gazed sadly at the Darlings. "…is this really what ya want?"

"Yes!" the Darlings insisted. "Yes! Oh please! Peter Pan is a rascal and rotten to the core! Unsafe for poor Wendy! He never once appropriately courted!"

Pluto whimpered. Minnie dabbed her cheeks. Goofy puckered a lip. Donald muttered darkly. _Aww phooey!_ _Mickey and Captain Hook were still in a dog-gone tie!_

Drearily, Mickey re-scribed Wendy's _Disney World_ contract. "Court? Ya mean date?"

"What have you!" Mr. Darling wiped his brow, very much relieved. "Court? Date? This is _Disney World_ – our stories are written! People simply don't date!"


	2. Chapter 2: The Bro Code

**Chapter 2: The Bro Code**

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Giselle!" Prince Edward flung himself into the _Men's Locker Room._ Dramatically he squeezed his heart. "She wants a date!"

The gentlemen of _Disney World_ turned. Half were in costumes. Half were in towels. All stared at Prince Edward, utterly bemused.

"A date?" Prince Phillip smoothed his wet hair. "What's a date?"

Prince Edward huffed. Miserably, he laid a hand to his head.

"Oh…it's agony! _AG_ ony!"

Prince Edward swooned. The Disney princes gathered him onto the bench. Normally, they would not be so considerate. Prince Edward was rather melodramatic, second only to Emperor Kuzco. Prince Edward neither knew (nor cared) what _melodramatic_ meant, but it defined him perfectly. And it was _always_ annoying.

"Jesus." Jim Hawkins – the anti-Christ of melodrama – slouched against his locker. Darkly surveying Prince Edward, he braided his rattail. "What the Hell. It's just a date. Man the F up."

Peter Pan and Flynn Rider – both spotlight hogs – grinned at Jim.

"Okay Sissy." Peter ruffled his fiery hair until it fluffed like flames. "Just tie your ponytail."

"Guys!" Flynn snapped his towel before the teasing escalated. "Zip it, lock it, put it in your pockets! Ed's breaking down! If he cries, I'm going in for a selfie!"

Peter laughed. Very appreciative of Flynn's prank, he tossed Axe body spray into his locker. Then, reconsidering, he retrieved the spray and spritzed Jim.

"You don't know what a date is!" Peter goofed, ducking behind his locker. "Liar, liar pants on fire!"

Jim glared. "Morons." he muttered, exiting the locker room.

Undaunted, Peter shrugged. He consulted the clock. Two hours to midnight. Grinning, Peter began throwing on his clothes which - incidentally - were identical to his _Disney World_ costume. Green, green, and more green.

Hurriedly, Peter stuffed on his moccasins. _Tonight was Thursday night!_ He and Wendy didn't have evening performances on Thursdays. So every night they raced to see who could change the fastest. _First one out of the locker room wins!_ Oddly enough, Wendy always won. Somehow Peter always got detained by the mirror.

"Okay Eddy." Adjusting his towel, Flynn knelt before Prince Edward. "Share with group. What's a date? And why does Giselle want one?"

"A date!" Prince Edward waved hopelessly. "A date – dear peasants—is a dreadful thing, from what I can surmise! Per my Giselle – ah Giselle. My dear Giselle. My beautiful lady. My heart's true desire. My other half… _my one coquette_ …"

Prince Edward groped dreamily into the distance. He started to sing. "… _the answer to my love's duet_!"

"Ed!" Flynn smacked Prince Edward aside the head. " _Focus_! Date!"

"Oh. My pardons, dear peasant. Tis my folly that the mere mention of my lady Giselle renders me a-quiver and - "

"Well quit _a-quivering_." Flynn said. "And holy mamma, tell us what a freaking date is! Come on Ed! Spill the beans!"

"If…" Prince Edward inhaled, shoulders rising to his ears. Dramatically he released. "… _you insist_! Dear peasants! Royal comrades! And…other peasants. A date – per my beautiful Giselle – is an event. An event wherein a prince and his lady go someplace special. Dress nice. Eat dinner. Hold hands. Talk about themselves. Their likes. Their dislikes. Their interests. It is…"

Prince Edward flicked his curly Q. "A date!"

The _Disney_ gentlemen were confused.

"Eat? Hold hands? Talk? About likes? Dislikes? With our ladies?" Prince Charming cupped his cheek. "For how long?"

"Indefinitely perhaps." said Prince Edward. "But it seems a date can be a singular affair."

"Wait!" objected Prince Eric. "What's wrong with _happily ever after_?"

"And what ever happened to: _Hello, you're pretty, I'll save the day, let's get married_?" Hercules said.

Prince Edward massaged his temples. He wasn't use to thinking so hard.

"Twas my very argument to dearest Giselle! But she was rather insistent! And her lady friends. My, my – they were tickled pink by the idea of a date!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Hold your horses!" Flynn seized Prince Edward. "Are you telling me – straight up – that every chic inside that girl's dressing room _also_ wants to go on a date?"

Prince Edward gulped. "Would it be terribly inconvenient?"

The _Disney_ gentlemen groaned. Disgusted, Flynn threw Prince Edward. "That's it! We're fighting to the death! _En garde_ you traitor!"

"We can't go on dates!" Aladdin moaned. "Jaz is too ritzy! I'm broke!"

"Shidanza!" Naveen slapped his head. "Tiana on a date? She will eat me alive, no?"

"Belle is smart!" Beast shook his head. "I can't talk to her!"

"Anna has the energy of a ferret." Kristoff said. "And she'll probably want to bring the psycho snowman."

"And my poofy pants!" Prince Edward whined. "I shant have them poofed in time!"

"This date!" Flynn declared, "Goes against every commandment written in the Manly Bible of Manliness: _The Bro Code_! Bros – I make a motion we nip this date shenanigan in the bud! Who's with me? All in favor say – "

Peter flew atop the lockers. "You guys are all cowards."

The _Disney_ gentlemen gasped. Flynn spun. "Say what?"

"Yeah!" Peter grinned like a Cheshire cat. "You all are cowards. Afraid of a little – waddaya call it? _Date?_ Holding hands? Talking about likes and dislikes? Puh."

Triumphantly, Peter rolled his hat across his shoulders. "Wendy and I do that all the time."

The _Disney_ gentlemen stared. Then they laughed.

"Peter!" John Smith nudged Phoebus. Both were coupled with seductively beautiful women. "Take it from me. You and Wendy are _not_ dating."

"Don't play with the big boys, Kid." Phoebus returned John Smith's nudge. "You've never even been to first base!"

Anger burned from the end of Peter's toes to the tips of his ears. First of all, he'd lost the high ground. That was never fun. Second, he had no idea what first base was, how the men knew he had no idea, or why they were laughing at the fact. And third, he _did not_ like the insinuations they were making about Wendy.

"Have too been to first base!" Peter ground both fists into his hips. "And I know _everything_ Wendy likes! And her dislikes! She _likes_ me – "

The men laughed.

"—and she _dislikes_ not being around me – "

The men laughed harder.

"—and as for first base!" Peter lied, desperately clinging to a sports analogy. "I rounded it!"

The men roared.

"Fine!" Peter pointed his dagger. "Fine! You cowards! I challenge you! I challenge all of you and your stinking honor as gentlemen! Take your ladies – "

Peter slammed his dagger into the locker.

"— _on a date_!"

It had the desired effect. Dramatic perhaps, but the message was received.

"Ya know…" Flynn twirled an imaginary beard. "…The Bro Code does say something about chivalry. And don't forget the second commandment of The Bro Code: _A bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his bro's are doing it_."

Flynn threw his hands. "This definitely applies."

"Bro Code number 100." added Kristoff. " _A bro is honour bound to accept all challenges by another bro_ – thank you Peter very much."

"Bro Code number 134!" said Kuzco, becoming excited. " _A Bro never leaves a Bro behind_!"

"And Bro Code number 96!" Flynn seized Prince Edward and punched the air. " _A bro is always psyched. ALWAYS._ Bros! Who's with me!? Let's take our ladies on dates! All in favor say AYE!"

Their cheer blew the roof! Each _Disney_ bro vowed unconditional loyalty to his fellow _Disney_ bro.

And the _Disney_ ladies, across the hall, wondered _very_ much what the raucous was all about!

* * *

 **sultal's note: too all you bros out there - I am very impressed you have your own Code. Bravo. I request the highest of fives. Long live Barney Stinson? ;)**


	3. Chapter 3: Bitch, Please

**Chapter 3: Bitch, Please.**

Wendy Darling was a multitasker. Coached as the Lost Boys mother while simultaneously adventuring with Peter Pan, Wendy was a multitasker of professional standards. She was also somewhat of a perfectionist with a competitive streak. So, when Peter Pan's Thursday night _Last-One-Out-Of-the-Dressing-Room-Is-A-Rotten-Egg_ challenge swung around, Wendy made sure she won. It was really that simple.

"What's this make it?" Mulan squirmed into her sports bra as Wendy ducked under Merida's blow drier. She almost got lost in Merida's hair. "O for what?"

"Peter zero." Wendy flapped her nightgown. She crinkled her nose at the wrinkles. "Wendy a million. Goodness – these wrinkles. This will never do. Well, if I suppose if I'm to beat him…"

"And make it zero to _a million and one_?" Mulan laughed as Wendy skipped around Merida and Rapunzel. "Aiya! Wendy, that must kill Peter to have you win!"

"Atta girl." Merida muttered from under her hair.

"Well…" Wendy called from the bathroom stall. She hated to change in public. "Well he _is_ Peter Pan. He's wonderful at everything else. I might as well have a little glory. Oh dear. Has anyone seen my sash?"

"Negative! But here!" Rapunzel flung a pink ribbon over the stall. "You can use this one!"

"Thank you!"

"Np!"

"Girl." Tiana looked at Rapunzel through the mirror. "Stop speaking in abbreviations! I swear you talk more like Flynn every day!"

"Lol!" Rapunzel giggled, amused by her comeback.

Tiana smiled. "And stop laughing at your own jokes!"

Rapunzel giggled more.

"Okay dudes." Mulan flipped her hair into a bun. "Get a move on. I'm done for the night but Rapunzel's still got the Princess Parade thing. So let's – "

Mulan stopped. "Oh. Hey. Princess Ariel. Tinkerbell."

The girls turned. Ariel and Tinkerbell were glittering in costume at the end of the aisle, clearly dressed for the Princess Parade. Ariel smiled broadly. Tinkerbell sucked her cheek.

"Nice warrior outfit, Mulan." Tinkerbell jerked her head. " _Men's Locker Room_ is that way."

"Can I have a locker next to yours?" Mulan said.

"Atta girl." Merida muttered from under her hair.

"Umm we're busy!" Tiana swiveled her head and snapped her fingers in the mirror. "And Wendy's on a timed schedule to bust Peter Pan, so _Honey_ back off with the poison _yo_ and let us do our thing, _oh-kay_?!"

"Atta girl." Merida muttered from under her hair. They loved it when Tiana got sassy. Always a good show.

"Tinkerbell." Ariel scolded. Brightly, she returned to the girls. "Sorry. I'm just here for Rapunzel? Rapunzel, you wanted me to braid your hair for the parade?"

"Ooooo!" Rapunzel bounced up and down. Excitedly she patted the bench. "Yes, yes, yes! Do it, do it, do it! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oooo I can't believe it! It's gonna look soooo good!"

"Must be some hairdo." Mulan mused, a wary eye still on Tinkerbell. "What's the type of braid?"

"Fish tail!" Rapunzel squealed as Ariel lifted her aquamarine skirts over the bench. She was wearing flip flops underneath. "Fish tail braid all the way down! Thought we'd try something new! Thank you Ariel! Thank you!"

Mulan crossed her arms. "Do you have enough time before the parade?" she asked as Tinkerbell prowled the lockers. She glared as Tinkerbell peered curiously into Wendy's.

Ariel smoothed Rapunzel's hair. "I think so. I have six sisters, remember. Lots of experience braiding. Especially fishtails. It's a mermaid thing."

"Shocker." Mulan mumbled, reaching for her deodorant. Suddenly, she barked. "Hey! Tinkerbell. That's Wendy's locker."

"Oops." Tinkerbell flicked the door shut. She hid a hand behind her back. "My bad."

"I can't wait for the parade!" Rapunzel fidgeted as Ariel divided her hair. "I love dancing! Especially on a moving float!"

"Mm-hmm." Tiana circled moisturizer on her cheeks. "You would."

"And I hope Flynn is watching!" Rapunzel hugged her shoulders, unable to contain her glee. "I want him to see my new braid! Maybe he won't fall asleep in the crowd this time! Maybe he'll come for a dance!"

"Gosh I forgot." Ariel said, weaving Rapunzel's hair like liquid sunshine. "Giselle was talking about the boys. She seemed pretty excited. Something about a date."

Tinkerbell clanged a locker. Her wings buzzed. "What? Really? No! _A date_?"

"A date."

"A date?" said Mulan.

Rapunzel tilted her head. "Whatsa date?"

Wendy hopped from the bathroom, one slipper on her foot. "Three minutes left! Has anyone seen my…bow?"

She straightened, startled by Ariel and Tinkerbell. "Oh. Hello. I was – "

"— looking for this?" Lightly, Tinkerbell flittered onto the bench. From behind her back, she displayed Wendy's bow. "This old thing?"

"Oh come on!" Mulan reached into her locker. She withdrew a baseball bat. "We are not playing this game – "

"Tinkerbell. Please." Wendy interrupted. She held out her hand. "Give it back."

"You're on a _timed schedule_." Tinkerbell sneered. "Come and get it! _Ándale! Ándale!_ "

"Tinkerbell!" Wendy scooted past Ariel and through Mulan's hands. "Tinkerbell! Please!"

"Why, big ugly girl?" Tinkerbell dangled the bow. "Think it'll make you look pretty for Peter Pan?"

"No!" Wendy grabbed. She blushed violently. "Tinkerbell it's – "

"—time is flying!"

"Tinkerbell!"

"So why don't you fly?!"

" _Tinkerbell_! I'm _going_ to be _late_!"

"She's late! She's late! For a very important – "

"DATES!"

The _Girl's Dressing Room_ door wacked open. Giselle, Charlotte, and Snow White swirled inside.

"Dates!" Giselle sang, grasping Cinderella and spinning her about. "Dates! Dates! We're all going on dates!"

"Dates?" The _Disney_ ladies fluttered around Giselle. Tinkerbell hovered out of Wendy's reach. Mulan made eye contact with Tinkerbell and sliced a hand across her throat. "Oh Giselle what's a date?"

"Oh!" Charallot La Bouff fanned herself. "Oh it's just too much to absorb!"

"Well try." Tiana muttered.

"A date!" Giselle danced, grasping hands with each _Disney_ lady she passed. "Is a _wonderful_ thing! _You're prince will plan a special night! You stay out much too late! You're dress is just a little tight_ …"

"Is she seriously starting to sing?" Mulan said.

Giselle twirled. " _Presto you have a date_!"

"Yup." Tiana answered as the _Disney_ ladies cooed.

"We can't go on dates!" Jasmine said. "Aladdin is too tacky. He's broke."

"A whole night with Naveen?" Tiana pulled her skin. "I'll be sick."

"But what do we do on a date?" Shyly, Belle brushed a stray hair. "Beast is so introspective. I can't talk to him."

"Kristoff has the energy of a Tupperware replacement lid!" Anna tugged anxiously on Elsa's sleeve. "Do you think he'll let me bring Olaf?"

"As long as Edward wears his poofy pants!" Giselle beamed. "Then our dates will be a dream come true! Oh ladies! Think of it! A date!"

Elatedly Giselle painted a rainbow across an invisible canvass. "Imagine it! Your prince takes you someplace special! You're dressed nice, and so is he. You eat under the stars. Hold hands. Talk about yourselves. You're likes. You're dislikes. You're interests…"

Giselle squealed. "See! A date!"

"I do not understand." Pocahontas cocked her head. "Our men agreed to this?"

Ecstatically Giselle nodded. "Edward and our princes are arranging the details with Mickey Mouse _right now_! Eeeeee! So by tomorrow!" Giselle flapped her hands. "We may have dates!"

"Ladies!" Fauna, Flora, and Merriweather tapped their wands through the door. "Ladies! The Princess Parade is about to start! Wisk, wisk! Wisk, wisk!"

"Ooooo!" Hurriedly, Ariel braided the last two feet of Rapunzel's hair. "There! Sorry Rapunzel, a little sloppy! Oh and Wendy?"

Wendy looked up. Her cheeks were still red.

Lifting her skirts, Ariel lunged over the bench. Pushing Tinkerbell, she snatched Wendy's blue bow.

"Here!" Landing gracefully, Ariel tossed Wendy the bow. She pointed at her wrist. "You still got a minute left!"

Gratefully, Wendy smiled. It melted as Tinkerbell swooped overhead.

"When you see Peter…" Swiftly, Tinkerbell tugged Wendy's hair. "…tell him to start planning our date. Big, ugly girl."

Mulan rolled her eyes. As Tinkerbell zipped to the door, Mulan tossed a baseball, swung her bat –

"Ouch!"

"Bitch," Tiana snapped as Tinkerbell hobbled out. "Please."

"Atta girl." Merida muttered from under her hair.


	4. Chapter 4: Love is Blind

**Chapter 4: Love is Blind**

Wendy was livid, fit to be tide! _How dare Tinkerbell tease her friends! How dare Tinkerbell steal her belongings!_ Furiously, Wendy laced her bow. But one step into the magical night air eased her agitation. _Disney World_ was the happiest place on earth (aside from _Disney Land_ ). No one could be really unhappy. It was company policy. Plus, the children –

Wendy settled on a park bench. She smiled at the children, bouncing around in costumes, sparkling with excitement, waving at parade princesses, making their grownups feel less adult. This was the secret magic of _Disney World_ – the children. Not the princesses, not the pixie dust, and not Cinderella's Castle. It was the children. They breathed life into the magic.

"Gonna be a long parade."

Jim Hawkins materialized on the bench beside her. Moodily, he gazed at the parade. "Cruddy night for stargazing. Damn ambient light."

Wendy glossed over Jim's profanity. Whilst she did not approve of his language, she was accustomed to Neverland pirates and therefore fluent in ' _Sailor's Mouth_.' Jim was a brusque, salty character, but Wendy discovered him also very kind and extremely perceptive.

True, Jim was no Peter Pan. But Jim and Wendy shared a common pastime – they liked to stargaze. Peter was far too impatient, he was rather like a shooting star himself. Peter's patience was very combustive, in an out, always chasing another adventure. But Jim could spell every constellation across the sky. He even made his own. Wendy found that very impressive.

"The parade won't last long." Wendy said. She looked up. Jim was right. The lights from the parade obscured the night sky. "It's only the Princess Parade."

"Yeah but then you have the never ending autographs, and pictures, and autographs, and pictures, and ooos, and awes, and autographs, and pictures…"

Wendy swung her legs. "The children like it. Look how precious they are."

Jim grunted. He watched the parade. _The Little Mermaid_ float strolled by, and he glanced down as Princess Ariel waved.

Wendy smiled. Jim was saved from her comment as three little fairy princesses swarmed their bench. "Wendy! Wendy! Sign our wings?"

"Oh look at you! Look at your sparkly wings!" Wendy took the marker. "Of course!"

"Where's Peter Pan?" asked Little Fairy Princess One.

"Where's Captain Hook?!" growled Little Fairy Princess Two – obviously the tomboy of the group.

"And where's Peter Pan!" squeaked the Littlest Fairy Princess Three.

"Would you stop copying me?!" said Little Fairy Princess One. "I just asked that!"

Wendy smoothed a fairy wing on her knee. "Peter Pan is coming soon. I'm waiting for him right now. Probably chasing that silly shadow. But…"

Wendy signed the last wing. She offered the marker to Jim. "But, look who else is here! Jim Hawk – "

"Thanks Wendy!" Little Fairy Princesses One, Two, and Three squealed as Elsa and Anna's appeared on the _Frozen_ float. "Tell Peter Pan we love him!"

"Love!" giggled Littlest Fairy Princess Three as her sisters started singing _Let It Go._ "Bye!"

"Bye…" Wendy bit her lip. Apologetically she turned to Jim. "Oh, Jim. I'm so sorry. I tried…"

"Eh." Jim reclined. "Forget it. They have no idea who I am. My movie was a flop."

"Oh goodness! No!" Motherly, Wendy turned. "Jim! That's not true."

"Um, actually it is."

"No! _Actually_ it is not!" Wendy reprimanded. "Peter and I watched _Treasure Planet_. Why, Peter was so engaged! I hardly had to remind him to sit still – certainly not like the time we watched _Enchanted_."

"Shock."

"And you were so brave!" Wendy continued. "With the dreadful pirates, and frightful aliens, and exploding planet! Oh Jim, it is a _lovely_ movie and you should be proud. After all…it _is_ your story."

Jim consented. A little. "It had it's badass moments I guess."

" _Thrilling_ moments." Wendy corrected. "And yes. Quite a few."

"And a gold star from Peter Pan." Mockingly, Jim waved his hands. "Woo hoo. Boy I'm going places."

Wendy sighed. "Jim. Oh dear."

"I say it like it is, Wen." Jim motioned to the dressing rooms (hidden inside a magical tree behind a magical trash bin, of course). "Where is Peter Pan anyway? It's getting kinda late. You shouldn't walk home alone. Villains don't have curfew."

"Oh." Wendy fixed Rapunzel's sash. It was wider than her usual one. "Peter is always late."

"Yeah. Noticed." Jim said. "Someone should surgically fuse him to the mirror."

"Well…" Wendy said a little defensively. "Not without reason you know, Peter _is_ very handsome and it's only natural that – "

Wendy turned seven different shades of red before Jim's eyes. She covered her cheeks.

Jim grinned. "Whatever you say. He doesn't do it for me."

"Me neither." Wendy stammered, a little too quickly. "We're friends after all. Just friends. Good friends. Fine friends. In the shows. Just for – "

"Okay." Jim covered her mouth. "Don't get tongue tied, I'm convinced."

They returned to the parade. Wendy rubbed a wrinkle in her dress.

"Jim…" she began. "Jim. I um... _Please_ don't tell anyone that I said – "

"Hey!" Peter popped behind Wendy. "There you are!."

"Peter!" Wendy jumped. "Peter! You startled – "

"Hi'ya Wendy Lady. Hi. Listen – can you wait a sec?" Peter nodded. "I gotta talk to him."

"Jim?" Wendy was puzzled. Peter disproved of Jim, mostly because of his affiliation with Long John Silver, the cyborg pirate. "This Jim?"

"Yeah. Him." Suspiciously Peter looked between Wendy and Jim, trying to connect the dots. "What were you two talking about anyway?"

"Nothing." Jim said, winking imperceptibly at Wendy. "Definitely not how attractive you are."

Peter angled a brow. "Huh?"

" _Mr. Hawkins_." Wendy stared lethally at Jim. "I believe Peter and I were just going – "

"Oh we will. In a sec." Peter crouched on the bench. "This'll be short."

Wendy started to protest. But luckily, she was mobbed by five _Disney_ _Punk_ teenagers armed with their smartphones.

Peter regarded Jim. He did his best to act intimidating.

"So. You know all about dates huh?" Peter struck a daunting pose. "Wanna prove it?

Jim peered. "…sure?"

"Okay. I accept your challenge." Peter crossed his arms. "Whatsa date?"

Jim frowned. "You take a girl out."

"Explain. _IF_ you can."

"Okay…" Jim shifted. He had never been on a date, but had envisioned the perfect one often enough. "Rock concerts. Trade band Ts. Listen to CDs. See a movie. Eat pizza. Walk on the beach. Talk all night. I dunno…you do special stuff and non-special stuff to make memories. "

Peter nodded. It seemed accurate to Prince Edward's account.

"I challenged the princes to go on dates!" he informed Jim.

"Interesting." Jim said. "Why?"

Peter scoffed. "They said _I_ didn't know what first base is!"

Jim was surprised. "Excuse me?"

"They said _I_ didn't _know_ what _first base_ is! Ha! Me! Peter Pan not know? Ha!"

Jim's eyes flickered to Wendy. Carefully, he spoke. "Do you?"

"Do what?"

"Do you know what first base is?"

Peter grimaced indecisively. " _Do you_?" he finally retorted.

Jim considered. Again he looked at Wendy. "What else did you tell them?"

Peter puffed his chest. "Only the truth! I told them that I _not only_ knew what first base is – but _I rounded it_!"

Cringing, Jim made a sound like a dying engine. "Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggg God. Oh good god…okay um…oh boy...why me?"

Jim steepled both hands over his nose. He looked up at the sky. Then, cursing his lucky stars, Jim turned to Peter.

"Okay. Peter…"

"Pan."

"Whatever. Pan: First base – and let's just stick with first base – means…it means a kiss."

Peter relaxed. "Oh. Is that all?" Relieved, he fished Wendy's thimble from a silver chain. "I knew that! See? A kiss!"

Jim sagged. _Fail._

"Okay that's not….Oh what the Hell." Jim groaned. "Okay I'll play your sick little game of make-pretend. Jesus, you two are ridiculous. Okay. Pan. Listen very carefully. That thing – "

Peter lifted the thimble. Painfully, Jim nodded.

"Yes that. Pan: that _is_ a kiss. The _object_. The _noun_. The princes – when they said first base – they were talking about the _verb_. _To_ kiss. The action of kis _sing_. Make sense?"

Peter blinked.

Jim tapped his mouth. "You do it with your lips."

Peter looked mildly revolted. "Huh?"

"Don't knock it. I hear it's a blast. But…" Jim nodded at Wendy, escaping from her teenage punk fans. "I wouldn't try it on Wendy. She's a good girl. Strikes me as a slow mover. She'd probably punch the pixie dust right out of you."

Peter turned. Tucking away his thimble, he smiled as Wendy approached. "Wendy? Punch? Nah she's a lady! Plus, she likes me too much!"

Kicking upwards, Peter seized Wendy's hand. "Right, Wendy?"

Wendy smiled. "Certainly!" she curtsied, unsure (and uncaring) as to what she was agreeing.

Jim watched them depart. Sighing, he hunched into the darkness as a hoard of princes stormed Cinderella's Castle in search of Mickey Mouse.

"Youth."

* * *

 **sultal: this chapter (the magical parade and autograph signing) was inspired by** ** _DisneyL_** **videos sent to me by LadyAnne23!**


	5. Chapter 5: Date Double, Double Trouble

**Chapter 5: Date Double, Double Trouble**

Fireworks smashed behind Mickey Mouse. For a climactic moment the colors smoked into the sky, outlining Mickey's silhouette. Then –

 _POOF. Sparkle. Drizzle. Drizzle. Sparkle. POOF._ Millions of balloons into the air…

"Thanks folks!" Mickey Mouse waved over the _Disney_ characters. The loudspeakers played _When You Wish Upon a Star_ as the last guests (three little fairy princesses) exited the _Magic_ _Kingdom_. "See ya real soon!"

"Bye!" called the Disney company. "Sweet Dreams!"

"See you tomorrow!"

"Wish upon a star!"

"Dive safe!"

"Bon voyage!"

"Annnnnd…" Mickey Mouse clapped his hands. The last firework fizzled. The final cymbal smashed. And _Disney World_ was officially closed for the night. "That's a wrap! Hot dog everyone, that sure was swell!"

"Everyone in bed!" Minnie shooed princesses, fairies, and princes from Cinderella's Castle steps. "Scoot! Scoot! Must be bright and happy for tomorrow! Off with you now! Off to bed!"

"Get going!" Donald squabbled at lollygaggers. "You heard Mickey! Get going!"

"Gawrsh Mic!" Goofy clomped up the steps. "That was grrrrreat! Biggest crowd yet! _Ah-hyuck_! Maybe it'll be even bigger tomorrow! Ohh I can't wait!"

"Boy oh boy, I hope so!" Mickey trudged up the stairs. He was still bothered by Captain Hook's and The Darlings' demands. "So long as everyone stays happy! Dag nab it – I've still gotta tell Wendy and Peter Pan about her contract! Poor kids!"

"Tsk, tsk!" sniffed Minnie Mouse. "I never liked that Captain Hook! Mickey, do you think this will disappoint the children?"

"Dunno." Mickey opened the castle doors. "Let's just hope our _Disney_ characters don't make _any more_ wacky requests."

"WE WANT DATES!"

Mickey tumbled into Minnie, who tumbled into Goofy, who tumbled into Donald, who tumbled into Pluto, who barked at the _Disney_ princes as they burst from Cinderella's Castle.

"Ya want what?" Mickey moved Goofy's legs. "Did you say…ya want _dates_?"

"Yup!" Flynn untangled Mickey from the pile. "More specifically, our women want dates. So we consulted the _Manly Bible of Manliness: The Bro Code_ – "

Everybody spit out of respect.

" – and we decided that our females will have _said dates_! Ha!" Flynn thumped his chest. "Don't tell _me_ who wears the pants in these relationships!"

Mickey's jaw lagged. "Aw gee. I'm confused."

"Ed." Flynn waved a hand. " 'Splain the situation to the mouse! Not with singing. Use your words."

Prince Edward took the podium. As he cleared his throat, villains slithered up the entryway, intrigued by the gathering. Where there were heroes, there was usually righteousness to mess up.

"It's is the desire of my dearest Giselle!" Prince Edward began. "Giselle my beautiful lady, my other half, my one coquette, the answer to my love's duet!"

"What batteries does he run on?" asked Aladdin as Flynn elbowed Prince Edward in the stomach.

"Giselle!" Prince Edward continued, looking sourly at Flynn. "Wants to go on a date! A date where I, Prince Edward of Andalasia, shall indulge my fair Giselle to holding hands, an eatery sublime, and conversation of her likes and dislikes – "

"Thanks Prince Edward." Mickey Mouse said. "It's a date, I get the picture. Know all about them. But…."

Mickey searched the _Disney_ gentlemen for an explanation. "But _why_ do ya all want to go on dates?"

"Because!" Prince Edward elevated his arm, cueing a musical chorus. "Because our ladies! _They've been dreaming of a true love's ki_ – "

"Shut up!" Flynn shoved his hand into Prince Edward's face. The musical chorus died.

"Listen!" Flynn said. "Mr. Mouse...Mickey, can I call you Mickey?"

Mickey furrowed a brow. His tail swished irately.

"We're in a situation." Flynn gestured to the _Disney_ gentlemen. "Thanks to _Mr._ _True Love's Kiss of Andalasia_ , our women want dates! They're nutty for em! _Now_ , we may be slobs – "

The _Disney_ gentlemen nodded in agreement.

"—and we may be stupid – "

The _Disney_ gentlemen nodded. _Also true._

"—and we may have no idea what a _date_ is – "

Big nods. _No idea. Absolutely none._

"—but our women want dates!" Flynn declared. "And sweet mamma _they will kill us_ if we don't give them what they want!"

There was general consensus. "Hear, hear!"

Mickey Mouse drummed his chin. Behind him, the villains murmured.

Impatiently, Minnie clicked her heels. "Well I think it's a wonderful idea, Mickey!" she exclaimed. "I think everyone should go on dates!"

"Oh yeah?" Donald growled. "Good idea for who?"

"Us!"

Donald was trampled by a _Disney_ princesses stampede. Excitedly, the ladies bustled around Mickey Mouse. Naveen joined their circles and soon the cheer "We want dates! We want dates!" echoed across the entire _Disney World_ Resort.

"What in the world?" Wendy wondered.

Proudly, Peter nudged her. "My idea."

Wendy was thunderstruck. " _Yours_?"

"Ladies!" Mickey Mouse waved for silence. " _Disney_ ladies and gentlemen! Please! Gee, ya don't understand! Dates are fine and dandy, but they're not for Disney characters! Our stories are already written, locked in the vault! Dates are fickle things ya know! Very unpredictable! Dates are for the rest of the world! Outside of the _Magic Kingdom_!"

"Then let us out!" Ariel called, glowing with excitement. "Let us be part of that world! Just for one night!"

"Yes!" Anna jumped. "Yes! Let us do it! For the first time in…well LIKE _EVER_!"

"It's too risky!" Mickey protested. "The magic walls would have to be lifted! Everyone going on a date would temporarily lose their magic!"

"DO IT!"

"The date wouldn't last forever!" Mickey pointed over the castle towers. "When the clock strikes twelve the spell will be broke!"

"DO IT!"

"You'd all have to be in disguise!" Mickey pulled his ears. "So people of the outside world wouldn't recognize you!"

"DO IT!"

Mickey recited a frantic, mini prayer. "THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT COULD GO WRONG!"

"DO IT!"

"Mr. Mouse!" Flynn slapped Mickey's back. "I think you got yourself a deal! Ladies! Saturday night: DATE NIGHT!"

"Yay!" The _Disney_ princesses started to dance. And of course, Prince Edward started to sing.

"Freeze!"

Maleficent cracked her scepter. Streetlights hissed out as villains migrated up the castle steps. Goons poked through the shadows, goggling with crazy, reflective eyes.

"Oh dear." Wendy felt Peter's arm around her. Gratefully, she pressed close as gremlins darted between lampposts. "Oh dear. Why must she be horrid?"

Peter turned Wendy into his shoulder. He handed her his dagger. It would help her be brave. Silently, Peter waited for Maleficent to speak.

"Dates?" Maleficent ascended the castle steps. "My, my indeed. Dates for the heroes and heroines of _Disney_. How quaint. But…what of the noble villains? Shall the antagonists be party to such frivolity?"

"HA!" Donald leapt into Maleficent's path. Wrathfully, he threw punches as Mickey and Goofy dragged him back. "That's what you think! Nothin' doin! Right Mickey?"

"Well…" Mickey rose to his full height. Ears included, he was still five feet below Maleficent's penetrating glare. "Well, yes. Yes Maleficent, Donald is right! What with your history, ya'v gotta admit…things have been _spoiled_ in the past."

Flynn leaned forward. "Means no."

Maleficent's eyes flared. The molten lava inside her irises burned.

"Very well." Maleficent lifted her voice. "Listen then! All of you!"

Wendy flinched as Maleficent's scepter cracked. The clouds above Cinderella's Castle twisted into crooked and green tails.

"Go on your lovely little dates!" Maleficent sneered. "For each and every one of them is now cursed!"

"Way to go Donald." muttered Flynn.

"Heed my incantation, _Disney_ worthies and brats!" Maleficent said. "For when the clock strikes twelve on the midnight hour, you will _forget_! Everything you say, everything you see, and everything you do on your precious little dates _will be_ _forgotten_! "

Maleficent swung her scepter, stabbing lighting into the sky. " _Forgotten forever_!

The villains cackled. Ears stung and stars broke.

And then, they were gone.

Peter scanned the streets. The princes and princesses were frantic over Maleficent's curse, but otherwise everything appeared safe.

"Hey." Peter tilted into Wendy's view. Gently, he retrieved his dagger. "It's over."

Apologetically, Wendy rubbed her head. "Sorry. Silly. So silly sometimes."

Peter sheathed his dagger. Wendy did not like villains. She was afraid of them, more than most characters. Peter suspected it was because Wendy was such a clever storyteller – her imagination got the better of her sometimes.

"Well I had ya!" Peter bragged. "Had ya good! I wouldn't let the bad guys getcha!"

Wendy nodded. She still looked pale, and a little ashamed.

Peter scrunched his nose, thinking. Suddenly inspired by recent events, he grabbed Wendy's hand. He held it up. Considered it. Rotated it. Then, experimentally he swung it.

Instinctively, Wendy withdrew. "What are you doing?"

"Shh!" Peter ordered, trying to synchronize the swing with their step. "I'm practicing."

"Practicing? Practicing what?"

Peter concentrated. "Holding hands, of course."

Wendy was baffled. " _Why_?"

"Because." Cutting from behind, Captain Hook yanked their hands apart. "This is your last night together. By request…"

Captain Hook shoved Wendy at the _ever fretful_ Mr. and Mrs. Darling

"…of your parents."


	6. Chapter 6: Scandalous

**Chapter 6: Scandalous**

Peter Pan had wrestled crocodiles, thwarted Indians, resisted mermaids, raced pixies, battled pirates, and cut off the stinking hand of a Codfish.

But ugh! Wendy's parents were unconquerable!

"Get out!" Mr. Darling hurled Peter over the threshold. "And stay out!"

Peter reeled before hitting the walk. Rolling midair, he flipped onto his feet and marched right back to the Darling's door.

The Darlings lived alongside most of the fairytale characters - mini blue tiled towers behind Cinderella's Castle. Several residence peeked from their windows to watch the confrontation. Peter Pan was mad as a hot potato and stubborn as a bull. Sparks were going to fly.

Peter banged the door. "Hey! You forgot my hat!"

The door popped opened. Peter's hat smacked him in the face. The door slammed shut.

Peter banged the door again. "Hey!" he hollered, stuffing on his hat. "Now you forgot my Wendy! Give her back!"

"Arrest your vulgar language!" Mr. Darling bellowed from inside. "And away you street rat! Away or I'll alarm the _Disney_ brigade!"

"Ha!" Peter banged the door. The _Disney_ brigade was a police force collected from a mix of stories. There was Basil of Baker Street from _The Great Mouse Detective_ , Captain Amelia from _Treasure Planet_ , Razoul and the royal guards from _Aladdin_ , Sergeant Gerson from _Big Hero 6_ , and a whole slew of generic law enforcers that did not threaten Peter the least bit.

"Go ahead!" Peter wrenched the door knob. He heard Mrs. Darling gasp as it rattled. "Go ahead and try! I'm not scared!"

"Be gone you flying devil!" Mr. Darling rapped the door. "By decree of Wendy's _Disney World_ contract you shall be gone! The contract orders you will not interact with her! It's a contract _by jove_ \- signed by Walt Disney and approved by Mickey Mouse! You are _forbidden_ from Wendy! Forbidden forever!"

There was a scuffle. Peter's ears pricked, tuning to Wendy's voice.

"Wendy?" he called.

"Father no!" Wendy begged. "Father please, what have you done?"

"Silence, young lady!"

"But Peter's not - "

"Young lady! Up to your ROOM!"

"Wendy?!"

Peter pounced at the keyhole. Frantically he searched inside.

"Wendy! Wendy you okay? Is - is that _Hook_?"

Peter's spine ripped right through his belly. "Wendy!" Peter hacked his dagger into the keyhole. "Wendy hold on! I'm coming! Hook! Hook let her go!"

"Call the _Disney_ brigade." Captain Hook instructed Mr. Darling. Swiftly, he dragged Wendy upstairs. "I shall safeguard the little miss."

"No! No Father you mustn't! Peter!" Wendy floundered, legs hitting the banister. "Peter! Peter, fly Peter! Fly! Father's calling the brigade! He's - "

"That - " Captain Hook tossed Wendy into her nursery. "-is enough!"

Wendy scrambled away. Without hesitation she ran to the window, wrenched the handles -

"It's locked!"

Horrified, Wendy tugged. "Oh no! Oh no!" she groped the pane as Captain Hook's footsteps approached from behind. "Oh please, please, please open! Oh open, please don't be - "

"Locked!"

Captain Hook twisted Wendy from the glass. "Please, my dear - "

With astounding strength he flung Wendy into the window seat. "-be my _guest_!"

Wendy hit the pane. Outside, sirens wailed and red lights strobed across Captain Hook's face.

"The brigade!" Wendy tried to turn. Resisting the captain's pull she searched desperately for Peter between flashing police lights. "Peter! Peter fly away! Fly Peter! _Fly_!"

"He can't hear you!" Captain Hook braced Wendy against the pane. "The window is enchanted by Maleficent you see! One of my little tricks, funded happily by your miserable mother and father. The window is _locked_. And _impenetrable to sound_! Go ahead, my dear. Scream as loud as you want - "

Captain Hook pressed Wendy's cheek against the glass. "Peter Pan cannot hear you."

Wendy push his hand. "My mother will - "

"Your mother and father trust me implicitly!"

Wendy struggled, blinded by sirens. "Peter Pan will - "

"Peter is powerless!" Captain Hook struck the window. "The _Disney_ brigade will shoot him from the sky! And after tonight, my dear, you shall never see Peter Pan again! _We have a contact_!"

"What? What contract?"

"Your _Disney_ World contract!" Captain Hook released Wendy, having drawn her attention. "Twas I that convinced your parents Peter Pan was no good! Twas I that convinced your parents to beseech Mickey Mouse! Twas I that drew the terms for your new contract! My dear Wendy: you are Peter Pan are no longer a _Disney_ World item! Instead, you will travel the parks - "

Captain Hook trapped Wendy against the window. He lifted her chin.

" - _with me_."

Wendy stopped breathing.

"No..." she whispered. "No! No! I will never! I will never Captain Hook!"

Captain Hook squeezed Wendy's chin. "Delightful! My dear - _you do not have a choice_! The contract is signed by Walt Disney. Edited by Mickey Mouse. Your parents will simply not allow their _pure_ , English lady to expose herself with riff raff like Peter Pan. It is far, far..."

He traced her eyes with his hook.

"...too _scandalous_! So rest well, my little Wendy."

Captain Hook threw Wendy at the bed. He laughed as she bounced and tumbled to the floor.

"For tomorrow, we begin our _Disney_ World adventure. Together! Forever!"

Wendy protested. She begged. She wept to her parents until her tears pooled at the foot of the stairs. But it was no use: Mickey Mouse had approved the contract. Thus it was so: Wendy could never see Peter Pan again.

And that, if you'll pardon the pun, did not _fly_ well with Wendy Moria Angela Darling.

"Peter Pan is not riff raff." Wendy sniffed. Kneading away her tears she looped a bedsheet through the window handle. Using the sheet as leverage, she pulled.

"And I don't-" Wendy panted, shoulders aching. "-want to be - " she strained hard as she could. "-with Captain Hook! Oh!"

Distraught, Wendy sat. The window had not budged.

But Peter Pan appeared on the other side. He cocked his head, pointed at the bed sheet, and mouthed _Waddya doing_?

"Peter!"

Wendy leapt. She probed the glass. "Peter! Are you all right? Did they hurt you? Oh I was so worried, so very worried! How could they? Mother and Father - "

Peter frowned. Shaking his head, he tapped his pointed ear.

"Oh." Wendy remembered. "Maleficent's magic. It's sound proof. It's..."

Miserably Wendy sat. "Oh dear."

She looked up. Peter was inspecting the glass. Twice he pushed, then drove his shoulder against the window when it wouldn't open.

Curiously he looked at Wendy.

Wendy lifted her hand. "Its locked." she said sadly, twisting her wrist in a key motion.

Peter nodded knowingly. He mouthed something very rude that included the word ' _grownups_.' Then, perching grumpily on the ledge, he scratched his head to think.

Intermittently Peter glanced at Wendy, almost like she was a chess piece and he was determining the best course of play. Wendy tried her best to be helpful, but could not stop dreading a lifetime of _Disney_ World outings with Captain Hook.

Suddenly Peter jumped. Snapping his fingers (Wendy could not hear it), he pointed ecstatically at Wendy.

"...me?" Wendy said. "You want me...to do what?"

Peter tiptoed his fingers across his palm.

Wendy nodded. "Walk. You want me to walk..."

Peter pointed down.

"...walk down..."

Peter used his fingers to widen his eyes. Unblinking he ogled through the glass.

"Stare...stare...stair... _stairs_? Oh Peter." Wendy's insides skipped nervously. "You want me to walk down stairs?"

Peter gave a thumbs up.

"Now?"

Peter shrugged. _Why not?!_

Wendy clasped her fingers. Doubtfully she glanced at the nursery door. Nana was in the hallway. And she could hear voices downstairs.

"Well..." Wendy stiffened her lip. "I'll try."

Peter clapped. Excitedly be sprinted off. Then, as quickly, he reappeared.

 _Wendy._ he mouthed, flattening his hand against the window. _Be careful._

Wendy smoothed her hand over his. She could feel Peter's heat through the glass.

"I will."

The journey downstairs felt like an eternity. With agonizing slowness Wendy slunk downstairs, gradually dispersing her weight, and freezing when she heard a crack. She dared not breathe and was certain that if a feather fell, she would explode like a bomb!

But the most dreadful challenge was listening to her parents' conversation. Leisurely they insulted Peter Pan and congratulated Captain Hook for his forthrightness in the matter. Captain Hook was only too appreciative, and assured the Darlings that he was very much looking forward to escorting their little Wendy through _Disney_ World. _A pox upon that rascal Peter Pan!_

"Codfish." Wendy breathed, delicately lowering to the bottom step.

She finally reached the door. Forcing herself to maintain deliberate pace, Wendy gingerly turned the knob. Sure that her heart was beating too loud, she eeked the door ajar, and slipped outside.

Carefully she turned. With painstaking slowness, she drew the door. Knowing the lock would click, she gently turned the knob, fitting it in place. Bit by bit, inch by inch, hair by tiny hair -

"Gotcha!"

Peter seized her from behind. Wendy yelped, but Peter covered her mouth.

"Peter!" Wendy was overcome with terror and relief. " _Don't do that_!"

Peter laughed. "Way to go Wendy!"Victoriously he swung her down the steps. "I knew you could trick those ol' grown - "

"I say! Mary do you hear that? A scuffling at the door?"

"Oh George, dear! Do you think it's Peter Pan?"

"Allow me." A shadow passed across the parlor window and moved under the door.

Peter and Wendy both looked. "Hook!" they whispered, bumping foreheads.

"Come on!" Peter pulled Wendy into the night. "This way Wendy!"

The Darling's door opened. Gold light spread into the street. Captain Hook's shadow slivered through it like a knife.

"Blast you..." he hissed. "...Peter Pan."


	7. Chapter 7: Compatibility Quiz

**Chapter 7: Compatibility Quiz**

Of course, Peter thought he was clever. Sure Wendy played her part in the escape, magnificently in fact, but in the end who was the cleverest boy in the world? Peter Pan!

Peter was fantastically energized but Wendy was still rather distraught. Peter assumed that Captain Hook had flustered her, and consented that this was only natural. After all, Wendy was a girl and sometimes girls think too much. Peter told Wendy so, and she responded by chasing him in a game of tag. Peter won – of course – but by the end of the game Wendy was smiling. Peter was pleased: mission accomplished.

The game of tag must have been magical, because it lead Peter and Wendy to _The Partners_ statue. The statue, depicting Mr. Walt Disney holding hands with Mickey Mouse, was one of Wendy's favorite spots in all the _Magic Kingdom_. She especially loved the statue's plaque inscription, and read it aloud.

" _We believe in our idea: a family park where parents and children could have fun — together."_ Wendy traced the words. _"_ How lovely."

"Ha!" Peter lifted Wendy onto the stone base. "Boring! Let's tell a story! My story!"

Wendy smiled. "Again?"

Yes, again. Storytelling was a favorite activity of Peter's because with Wendy, they could role play. Plus, he was always cast as the hero. Wendy would devise the most thrilling adventures, but Peter always revisited his story. Not excessively of course (that would be conceited) only about nine times a week.

But this time, Peter changed the rules. This time Peter was not the star lead (himself). This time – and Peter thought this very clever – he wanted to be Wendy. And Wendy would be Peter Pan.

"Hello!" Peter put on Wendy's bow. His hair fanned from the ribbon like a fox tail. "My name is Wendy Something Something Something and I am a girl!"

Grinning, Peter tossed Wendy his hat.

"I sew on shadows, and I don't ever want to grow up! I want to fly away to Neverland forever with that clever boy Peter Pan!"

"That is dreadful!" Wendy giggled, covering her mouth. "Dreadful! I don't talk like that!"

Peter snatched his hat. Stuffing inside Wendy's hair and pulling the brim over her eyes, he corrected his accent.

"Okay, how's this!? Eh-hem: My name is _Wen-day_ and I _wahnt_ to fly away _foevah_ to _Nevahland_ with that _clevah_ boy _Peetah Pahn_!"

Wendy laughed. "You are shameful!"

Peter boost Wendy up. He guided her around the statue.

"Now you try! Be me!"

Wendy put her hands on her hips. Red feather cap slightly askew she leaned back and swung an arm into the air. Even Peter recognized his mannerism.

"Well!" she announced. "Wendy – "

Peter curtsied.

Wendy made notes to correct. "My name is Peter Pan! And I – "

"Nope!" Peter interrupted. "Wrong accent!"

Wendy tried again. "Peetah Pahn."

"Wrong!"

"Peetahr Pahn?"

"Eh!"

"Peetarrrrr-rah Pahn?"

"Try again!"

"Peetah-ruh Pahn-nuh?"

"Less ah!" Peter said. "More ee and y! Try not to talk pretty!"

"Pee-t-tuh-tuhrr-tuhrr…" Wendy contorted her mouth and tongue into different shapes. "…tuhrrr – tarrrr – "

Peter spread her cheeks. "Pretend to growl! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" he said, making an angry face. "Try! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr." Wendy mimicked. "Pee-t-t-rrrrrrrrrrrr. Pee-trrrrrrrrrrr."

"And…" Peter cupped her neck, just below the jaw. "Yuh. Yuh. Pa _yuh_ n!"

"Pee-trrrrr…" Wendy began. "Pah-yu -yu-yu-yu- yu- yu- yu- yu- yuyuyuyuyuyuyuuuuuu!" Wendy giggled as Peter jiggled her throat like a musical instrument. "Peter Pan!"

"Close enough!" Peter gave up. Wendy talked too pretty. Her voice lifted and fell like a cloud. He'd never be able to nail it down.

They continued with the storytelling game, pretending to be each other and trading roles as Lost Boys, Indians, pirates, and Captain Hook. Peter embellished where Wendy deemphasized, and more or less the story was accurately told.

"Captain Hook!" Peter declared, sticking his nose in the air. Hands behind his back, he snuffed at a pretend plank. "I, Wendy! Mother of Neverland! I shall never join your crew!"

"As you wish!" Wendy curled her left index finger. "Walk the plank, mi' dear! Ladies first!"

" _As_ – " Peter stomped. "— _you like it_ Codfish! Peter Pan is cleverly waiting below to save me – "

"I didn't know that!" Wendy said.

"Shhh! Neither does Hook!" Breaking character, Peter motioned off the stone base. "Come on, get down there! Below the plank! Remember you're me! This is the best part!"

Wendy acquiesced. Hopping down, she positioned herself below Peter Pan. "Ready!"

"Okay!" Peter stood on one leg. Starting to fall, he pinched his nose. "Bombs away!"

Wendy started. "Wait! Wait Peter you're not going to actually fall – "

"Here I come!"

"Peter!" Wendy threw out her hands. "Peter I can't catch – "

"One!"

"Peter your too – "

"Two!"

"Peter!"

"Three!"

"Oh no!" Wendy closed her eyes. Peter dropped, dead weight into her arms. Dipping, Wendy faltered, and fell.

"Oh!" Wendy's breath knocked out of her. Crunched between Peter and the pavement she gasped. "Goodness!"

Peter spasmed in her lap.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Flopping over Wendy, Peter pinned her to the cobble stone. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh it's a loss! The story ends! Peter Pan could not save the day! Wendy crashes into the ocean and sinks down into the inky depths! Down, down down!"

Wendy stopped smiling. She didn't like this ending.

"Peter!" she squirmed, removing his hat. "Peter! That's – "

"Down!" Peter flailed his arms. "Swallowed by the sea! Down, down, down – "

"Peter!" Wendy tried to push Peter up. "Peter that's not funny!"

"Lost forever, Mother of Neverland!"

"Peter!"

"Feasted by crocodiles long after she's drowned!"

"Peter! Stop!"

"Captain Hook is the hero of this tragic, dark tale – "

"I said _stop_!" Wendy rolled from under Peter. Furiously she straightened her nightgown. "Stop, stop, stop! That's not what happened, that is never what happened, and it's horrid to even pretend!"

Peter stared. He looked hurt. "Wendy. Wendy it's only a game."

"No it's not a game!" Uncontrollably, Wendy started to shake. She turned, trying to run away from the memory. "It's dreadful, and awful, and nasty, and cruel – "

"Wendy!" Peter chased her. He steered her to the statue. "Wendy! I – "

"—and brutish, and horrid, and scary, and helpless, and _what if_ you hadn't been there in time to – "

Wendy covered her mouth. Shuddering, she looked away.

Realization hit Peter. "Oh."

Wendy trembled. Peter flew to her side. Wendy turned. Peter crossed opposite. Again, Wendy turned. Settling before her, Peter leaned on her knees. Wendy buried her face into her hands.

"Don't be like this Wendy. "Cocking his head, Peter peeked through her hands. "I forgot. You _were_ scared. Sometimes it's hard to tell. You cry so quiet no one can hear."

"I was not crying." Wendy said through her hands. "And I was not scared."

"Yes you were." Peter pried open her fingers. "I was there. I saw everything. You were first to walk the plank. And…"

Peter squeezed her hands. "You were brilliant."

Wendy bit her lip. The movement snatched Peter's attention. Suddenly, he remembered his conversation with Jim. _To kiss. You do it with your lips._

"I'm sorry Wendy." Peter said, half distracted by Wendy's lips. "I shouldn't have made you drown. I didn't want you to drown, it was just a joke. Make pretend. But…"

Peter's black eyes flickered back to Wendy's blue ones. "It's better than the other ending."

"Other ending?" Wendy looked. "What other ending?"

Softly, Peter lowered from Wendy's knees.

"You left."

Wendy stared at Peter. Then, she started to cry.

"Why won't mother and father let me be with you?" Wendy asked. "Why must I go through _Disney_ World with Captain Hook?"

"Well…" Peter hugged her shoulders. "I guess grownups are like that. But don't worry Wendy. We'll – _wait_. _Hook_?"

Peter held Wendy at arm's length. " _They gave you to Captain Hook_?"

Helplessly, Wendy nodded. "There's a contract. With Mickey Mouse."

Everything inside Peter broke. Then like dynamite, it exploded.

"NO!" Peter sprung into the air. He slashed his dagger, itching for revenge. "No, no, no! Wendy – "

Peter pointed his dagger. "You are NOT going with Hook! I won't have it!"

Grabbing Wendy, Peter burned into the air. "Come on!"


	8. Chapter 8: It's Called Cheating

**Chapter 8: It's Called Cheating**

Eric was a go-getter, full-steam-ahead kind of prince. Life presented challenges and Eric met them with logic in his left hand and reason in his right. He indulged in fantasy from time to time, especially when he was at lost for answers, but fundamentally Eric was a realist.

This persona made Eric the type of prince he was. The type of prince that took the helm of his own ship. The type of prince that refused marriage until he found the perfect girl. The type of prince that questioned gut instinct when it told him the voiceless beauty was the same girl that sang to him on a shipwrecked beach. The type of prince that skewered Ursula the seawitch in a moment of utter heroism. The type of prince that set a goal for happily ever after.

And the type of prince that did not want to go on a date.

"There's no reason for it, Ariel." Prince Eric said. "We're already living happily ever after. Why ruin it with a date?"

Ariel frowned. "Ruin it?"

Eric nodded. He had taken Ariel to her favorite _Disney_ _World_ attraction – a water ride called _Splash Mountain_. Eric had hoped the gesture would sugar-coat his bad news. Clearly it was not working. Ariel was insistent: she wanted to go on a date.

"Eric how could our happily ever after be spoiled by a date?" Ariel asked. "You can't make happily ever after, _unhappily_ ever after!"

"Exactly." Eric said. "If it's not broke, don't fix it. Or try to break it."

"We don't _really_ know what a date is!" Ariel argued. She splashed Eric with the ride's waterfall, hoping it would lift his mood. "Eric, it could be fun!"

Eric blocked the water. "It might not be fun. Remember the villains cursed the dates. We won't remember anything. I agree with Mickey Mouse. Too many things could go wrong."

"Well if we won't remember anything." Ariel said. "Then what's the harm? Come on Eric! Let's do it!"

Eric was firm. "Too ambiguous Ariel. It's not safe. No place for a princess."

"Don't be so closed minded!" Ariel took his hand. "Eric. Please. For me. I want to try! It's a whole new world and a whole new experience! I want to go on a date."

"Ariel, I'm sorry." Eric shook his head. "But I say no."

"You say… _no_?"

No other word held such power over Ariel. Immediately she felt repulsed. Every ounce of motivation repelled Ariel in the opposite direction, urging her to rebel. Enraged, Ariel fled across the _Magic Kingdom_ , blowing steam like a super powered turbine. She only stopped after reaching the opposite end of the park. It was the farthest attraction from _Splash Mountain_ , an indoor roller coaster called _Space Mountain_.

Ariel scaled the white dome of _Space Mountain_.

" _You say no_? _You say no_? No to what? No to something that could be beautiful and exciting?"

Ariel climbed over the building. Reaching the peak, she complained to the stars.

"Why won't Eric go on a date with me? Why won't he do this for me?" Desperately Ariel hugged her shoulders. Her seashell top was damp and it was cold. "What's wrong with me?"

Someone cleared his throat.

Ariel jumped. In her anger she hadn't noticed the other occupant atop _Space Mountain's_ roof. It was a boy, and Ariel recognized him instantly. Jim Hawkins, the hero of _Treasure Planet_. He sat behind a telescope, notebook on his knee, and pencil in his hand. His telescope was aimed at the moon, but Jim was gazing at Ariel.

It was unnerving. Jim stared as if Ariel were a celestial body dropped from outer space.

"Hi." Ariel said.

"Hey." He replied.

Ariel shifted, embarrassed by her rant. "I was just – "

"I know." Jim said. "I heard." He shifted the notebook on his knee. "Sucks."

Ariel smiled. "Gosh. Oh gosh it sure does."

Jim backed slightly on his stool as Ariel approached.

"Watcha doing?" Ariel asked, tilting her head to see Jim's sketch. The notebook was filled with shaded circles. "Are those phases on the moon?"

"Yeah." Jim nodded at the telescope. "I chart them."

"Every night?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Ariel was impressed. And a little enthralled. "Cool!"

Jim fought a grin. Standing, he tapped the telescope.

"Want a look?"

Ariel beamed. "Really?"

"Sure. Have a seat."

Ariel situated before the telescope. She thought she was shivering with excitement until Jim offered his jacket.

"Here."

"Oh, I'm okay."

"You're in a bathing suit." Jim extended the jacket. His voice sounded a little thick. "Gotta be freezing. Just take it."

Ariel accepted. Shyly she brushed her hair. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Jim leaned over Ariel's shoulder. As he adjusted the telescope lenses, Ariel inhaled. The scent inside Jim's jacket amplified as he was near.

"Okay." Jim stood back. "Should be clear enough. Go for it."

Ariel closed one eye. She squinted into the lens.

"Relax your eye." Jim instructed on cue as Ariel's vision blurred. "Just look normally. You'll see everything better."

Ariel obeyed. With a bizarre effort, she relaxed the muscles in her eye. The image focused. And Ariel saw the moon.

"Wow!" Ariel lifted her hands in surprise. "Wow! Look! The craters! I can see the craters! They actually look like craters!"

"See the man in the moon?"

"Huh?"

"Joke."

"Oh!" Ariel laughed. Jim had spoken in such a monotone. "Good one! I get it!"

Ariel spent the next hour becoming enchanted with the moon. But she was enchanted with Jim long before that.

Jim Hawkins was not a public _Disney_ character. He hardly socialized and made all appearances brief. But his elusiveness, in addition to his ruggedness, attracted Ariel. Jim was an adventure seeker, _not_ a rebel without a cause. He reminded Ariel…well of herself.

Ariel secretly fantasied meeting Jim, imagining an instant connection. Now that they had finally become acquainted, Ariel believed that _Walt Disney World_ _was_ the place where dreams come true. Because she and Jim _were_ connecting and Ariel wondered if they could be pulled apart. She also wondered if she _wanted_ them to be.

"Did you know the moon causes tides?" Ariel asked, focusing the lens. "You know like tides in the ocean?"

"Gravitational pull?" Jim redirected the lens. Ariel gave a thumbs up. _Perfect._

"Yeah." Jim continued, looking at the moon. "But tides are also created by the sun. Oceans on opposite ends of the earth bulge towards the moon and sun. The moon has a greater pull on the oceans though – not because it's bigger. Because it's closer."

Ariel laughed. Without looking from the telescope she playfully punched Jim's hip. "Show off!"

Jim returned the punch. "It's a spacer thing. Gravity. Mass. All that crap."

"Isn't it cool though?" Ariel flipped her head from the telescope. Rising, she pointed to the stars. "Isn't it cool that sea and space can attract each other like that? They're so far away. Two different worlds. So far apart. But…"

Ariel turned into Jim. He had been reaching for the telescope and they collided. They collided and stuck, like two atoms in space.

"But…they work together. Invisibly. Like magic. Sea. And space." Ariel breathed. She felt Jim's fingertips against her own. "Don't…don't you think that's cool?"

Jim stared. Then, slowly, he withdrew.

"No." Jim snapped the telescope lens shut. "It's called cheating."

* * *

 **...**

 **sultal's note: Fiona-Loves Horses made an incredible piece of fan art for the chapter and you NEED to check out her Deviant Art page for this image up close because it is stunning.**

 **Fiona-Loves-Horses DA profile link: fiona-loves-horses dot deviantart dot com/ (The picture is entitled "Jim and Ariel" and it is of the telescope scene!)**


	9. Chapter 9: First Base-ish-ish

**Chapter 9: First Base-ish-ish**

Peter Pan was just a boy, but even _he_ knew the number one rule in the universe: _nothing mixes well with pirates!_ Pirates stink. Pirates smell. And pirates don't play nice.

Peter scoffed. Abruptly he spun.

"If those grownups think I'm going to give you to Captain Hook –" Peter wagged his finger. "—then they've got another thing coming, Wendy!"

Wendy hardly knew what to say. _Thank you_ seemed inappropriate, and _Please don't kill my parents_ seemed too dangerous an idea to put in Peter's head.

"Contract." Peter marched Wendy across _Fantasyland_ , the northernmost sector of the _Magic Kingdom_. "Who's afraid of an ol' contract? Not me! Not you! Not anybody! Stupid grownups! Dirty, rotten codfish!"

Peter halted in front of a colorful building. The building had been built to resemble rows of jousting tents. Even at night the striped towers were radiant as rainbows. Wendy read the medieval writing over the entrance: _Peter Pan's Flight_. It was an amusement park ride. It was Peter Pan's home.

Peter hopped weightlessly over the gates. Expectantly, he held out his arms.

"Come on!"

Wendy mounted the fence. She surveyed the ride's vehicles as Peter lowered her down.

Each passenger vehicle was shaped like a miniature pirate ship. They were squat, single row three seaters with golden frames and bright sails.

"What are we doing?" Wendy asked as Peter heaved a pirate ship to the starting platform. "Hiding?"

"Yup." The pirate ship _clicked_. Peter dusted his hands. "And sleeping. Come on."

Doubtfully, Wendy regarded the ship. "Peter. Your name is on the sign out front."

Peter boarded. "So?"

"Don't you suppose this is where Captain Hook will look first?"

"That old codfish?" Laughing, Peter extended a hand. "Hook wouldn't be able to find a pixie if it blew up his nose! Come on, Wendy. Get inside."

Wendy swayed. Captain Hook's voice gnawed the back of her mind. _Scandalous_.

"…together?"

Peter climbed out. He took Wendy's hand. "How else am I going to protect you? Silly girl. In ya go, easy does it. Okay…."

Peter pulled the safety bar. It clanked into place.

"Comfy?"

Wendy nodded. But she hugged the ship's railing, creating as much space as possible.

"All right then!" Peter thumped the side of the ship. Instantly they jerked, and the ride roared into circulation.

"Here we go!" Peter called in synch with the loud speakers. "Off to Neverland!"

They rolled from the loading dock. Wendy knew the sound effects were recorded, the props were plastic, and the ships were suspended from overhanging conveyer belts. But with Peter Pan beside her, they might as well be sailing a magical ship on a cloud of pixie dust. Leaning back, Wendy relaxed into Peter. She let her imagination do the rest.

They did not make it to Neverland, figuratively of course. Shortly after starting, Peter thumped the ship and the ride stopped.

Wendy looked below. They were suspended over a mini, moonlit London. The darkness was a comfortable shade of blue. Lights twinkled. There was an empty ship behind, and an empty ship ahead. Everything was peaceful and quiet.

Peter unlatched the safety bar. After a swift scan, he nodded.

"They'll never find us here."

Wendy rubbed her shoulders. "I hope not." she said as Peter kicked up his feet and pushed down his hat.

On Peter's invitation, Wendy nestled against the corner. It was hard and quite uncomfortable. She repositioned, found it worse, and repositioned again. Neither was satisfactory so Wendy consented to a night of tossing and turning.

"Here." Peter slid his arm under Wendy's neck. He lay her upright, fashioning a head rest against the seat. "Better?"

"Yes. Much. Thank you."

"No problem. Just try to relax. You're a little jumping bean!"

Wendy smiled. Tentatively, she relaxed. Immediately the motion reminded her she was tired.

"Peter? What shall we do tomorrow?"

"Same as we always do Wendy." Peter said from under his hat. "Sing, dance, tell children to never grow up."

"No. No, no. I meant…" Wendy fingered her acorn necklace. "…about Captain Hook."

Peter tensed. Wendy felt his muscles stiffen.

"Well." Peter uncovered his hat. "We'll evade the old scoundrel! We'll run away!"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yup!"

"What about the next day?"

"We'll run away every day!"

"Every day?" Wendy said. "Peter, every day is forever. Forever is an awfully long time to keep running away."

"Good thing I can fly, huh?"

"Peter – "

"It'll be an adventure, Wendy." Peter turned on his hip. Lights glittered in the black of his eyes. "A forever of _Disney World_ adventures, you and me! Just like always!"

"And then?" Wendy asked. "After that?"

"You'll come here!" Peter patted the ship. "You'll stay with me! Just like Neverland! You like this place, don't you?"

"Yes." Wendy said. "Very much."

"Good!" Peter flipped back. Wendy bumped into his shoulder. "You can be my mother! Just like old times! And we'll never have to worry about grownup things again! Okay?"

Wendy sighed. "Okay."

"You good and sleepy now?"

Wendy nodded. She was. The evening had been exhausting.

"Then close your eyes Wendy. And go to sleep." Peter rubbed her shoulder. "I won't let Hook get you."

Wendy rest her head. Slowly she started to fall asleep.

"Um…" she breathed.

"Yes?" Peter replied.

"…thank you. _Peetrr_."

Peter grinned. "You're welcome. _When-day_."

Outside the moon rose and set. It disappeared before dawn, leaving darkness in the sky.

Peter did not sleep. He couldn't. Wendy cradled against his chest, Peter made a pillow out of her head. Meditatively stoking a thumb through her hair, Peter tried to listen to Wendy's dreams. He hoped they were lovely, but suspected they were dark as his thoughts.

Wendy was right. _What were they going to do about Hook?_ Peter feigned confidence as not to scare Wendy, _and_ because he was Peter Pan and Peter Pan never got scared, but to a degree Peter was worried. Peter knew he could handle Wendy's parents. And Hook was no problem. But...Mickey Mouse was involved.

 _That_ worried Peter. Mickey might be a mouse, but he was powerful. And if Mickey Mouse paired Wendy with Captain Hook, Peter wondered how long he could _realistically_ keep her safe.

Peter frowned. Mickey Mouse should know better! Wendy was gentle and sweet. Sure, she could cross swords with any pirate if Peter allowed it, but there was a catch. Wendy had a secret, and Peter knew what it was.

Wendy was afraid of Captain Hook. Deathly. Oh she was defiant until the very end, but Peter knew the truth. He could read Wendy as if her secrets were written on her skin. She was afraid of Captain Hook. That was why she became upset during their storytelling game. It was all too real. It was all too possible. It was all too fresh in her head. If Peter hadn't come, Captain Hook would have killed her.

Peter's conscience kicked him. He shouldn't have picked on Wendy. Guiltily he gave an apologetic squeeze. Wendy stirred. Imperceptibly, as if she were accepting his apology, her lips moved.

Again, the movement caught Peter. He stared at her lips, transfixed. Jim's explanation of _kissing_ replayed over and over, but Peter was still confused. The concept was too mystifying, too detached from Peter's experiences. It was just an idea, something that he could neither touch nor explore.

 _Or, could he?_

Peter fingered Wendy's thimble. Then, carefully, he strummed her lower lip.

Nothing happened.

Peter peered closer. He studied her lips, rotating his head for different views.

Again, nothing happened.

 _It's an action._ Jim had said. You _do_ a kiss _. You do it with your lips._

Peter searched for a comparison. With Hook on his mind, he thought of fencing. Fencing was an action. You do it with swords. Just like _you do it with your lips_.

Peter reflected. Suddenly he thought: perhaps _he_ needed to participate. Or, _his lips_ needed to participate.

Instinctively, Peter made a face. He'd never been inside his mouth before, but he was _certain_ Wendy wouldn't enjoy _that_ experience. However, if he kept his mouth closed and saliva inside…

Peter considered. It wasn't an outlandish possibility. He could probably manage that. But when he got to Wendy's lips, what was he suppose to do?

Experimentally, Peter lowered. He stopped a hair from Wendy. _Now what? What were his options? What sorts of things did he usually do with his lips?_

Peter thought. _Suck like a lollipop? Lick like ice cream?_ _Ugh._ Even those sounded gross to Peter. _What else, what else? Bite?_ Peter shook his head. _He didn't want to hurt Wendy_.

 _But what about…_

Peter inched closer. And he breathed.

It was instantaneous. As Peter inhaled, balloons lifted inside him. His brain buzzed and his mouth tingled as if someone had plugged him into an electric outlet.

Peter was stunned! _Where_ did Wendy get this super power? And _why_ did she keep it a secret?

Peter repeated the sequence again and again. Each round he crept a little closer until there was only one other option.

Touch.

Peter adjusted. He lay Wendy beneath him. Gingerly he supported her head at a slight tilt, improving his angle of descent. Peter ran his tongue over his lips. Remembering Wendy didn't like saliva, Peter quickly shut his mouth. He felt nervous but he didn't know why.

Peter puffed his cheeks, preparing to ' _do the kiss'_. He looked down. Suddenly Peter was struck: Wendy was very pretty.

What happened next, Peter didn't remember deciding to do. It was fluid and magnetic, like wind over water.

Peter lowered over Wendy. He dropped down, tilted his head, inhaled her magic, closed his eyes –

"WENDY MORIA ANGELA DARLING!"

Wendy's eyes sparked open. For an instant they stared at each other.

Then Mr. Darling's umbrella wacked Peter between the eyes. Mrs. Darling screeched as Peter crashed into the rafters and Captain Hook dragged Wendy from the ship.

"Help! Help!" Mrs. Darling clutched Wendy to her chest. " _Disney_ brigade! Call the _Disney_ brigade!"

"Get down boy!" Captain Hook slashed his sword. "And I'll run you through!"

"RIFF RAFF! STREET RAT!" Mr. Darling brandished his umbrella. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!"

Peter looked at Wendy. A bit breathless, he smiled.

"Wanna go on a date?"

Mrs. Darling wailed. Captain Hook cursed. Mr. Darling shrieked.

"HEY!" Flynn Rider's head popped from inside the first pirate ship. He was smothered in hot pink lipstick. "WHAT'S A GUY GOTTA DO TO NECK IN _PRIVACY_ AROUND HERE?"

Mrs. Darling fainted into Mr. Darling's arms. There was smut and it was _everywhere_!

Miraculously, through the sword swinging, wailing, fainting, and (in Flynn's case) necking, Peter escaped. But not with Wendy. Wendy was carted away and locked in her room for being a very disobedient girl.

But as Wendy drifted asleep at her window, she was aware of three things.

One: Rapunzel's fish tail braid certainly worked its charm on Flynn.

Two: Peter had asked Wendy on a date.

And Three: Had Peter…tried to…?

Wendy furrowed in her sleep.

 _No. Not Peter Pan. That was impossible. Impossible as..._

 _…_ _a boy who could fly._


	10. Chapter 10: The Chaperone

**Chapter 10: The Chaperone**

"Caaaaaaan you repeat that again? Ya want Peter Pan…to what?"

Mickey was a busy Mouse. A _remarkably_ busy mouse. As Mr. Walt Disney's successor, Mickey was responsible for the health of _Disney_ _World_. This included scheduling daily shows, inducting new princesses, recycling leftover pixie dust, selecting movies from the _Disney_ vault for DVD release, regular park appearances, ensuring the happily ever afters of every _Disney_ character, and a boat load of paperwork. Why, he hardly had time to schmooze with Minnie ( _hardly_ , but he managed to pencil her in).

Since the 'date frenzy' Mickey _now_ had to brainstorm a safe way to release his _Disney_ characters into the _wilds_ of Orlando Florida, with the _added_ complication of Maleficent's curse on his hands! It hardly seemed fair.

Yes. Mickey was a busy Mouse.

And he _did not_ have time for Captain Hook's or The Darling's complaints.

"Sell him!" Mr. Darling demanded. "Sell Peter Pan to _Dreamworks_!"

"Bake him!" Mrs. Darling wept. "Bake Peter Pan in a blackbird pie!"

"Tie Peter Pan to an anchor!" Captain Hook roared. "And make him walk the plank!"

Mickey blinked. "Ohhh boy."

Donald, Goofy, and Pluto sympathized with poor Mickey. So, reviving the competition from The Darling's last visit, they awarded Mickey one point. _The score was 4 to 3, Mickey takes the lead!_

"Now see here." Mickey began. "I'm not authorized to sell, bake, or drown Peter Pan! Come on folks! We've changed Wendy's contract – "

"No doubt you heard the raucous last night?" Captain Hook interrupted. "The _Disney_ brigade?"

"Sure did." Mickey's tail bristled. "I assumed it was a _villain_. _Again_."

 _Oooo! Shot to the chones!_ Donald, Goofy, and Pluto sniggered _. Point Mickey._

"It was Peter Pan!" Mrs. Darling wrung her kerchief. "He kidnapped Wendy last night!"

"After we _explicitly_ told him no!" added Mr. Darling.

Minnie huffed. _Well that didn't sound at all like Peter Pan. Oops. NOT._

"The boy is ghost! A terror! A fiend!" Mrs. Darling gasped. "He dissolved through the walls, right through Wendy's nursery window! It was magically locked by Maleficent no less! But Peter Pan penetrated the barrier! _He still got through_! Oh! Demon child!"

 _Wow. Dissolving through walls?_ Donald, Goofy, Pluto nodded. _Point Peter Pan._

"Mrs. Darling." Mickey tried to be soothing. "I _don't think_ Peter dissolved through Wendy's bedroom walls."

" _But he did_!" Insulted, Mr. Darling held his wife. "Peter Pan most certainly did! The window was locked! How else could the kidnapping been done? _Hmph_?"

"Was Wendy's door locked?"

"What type of parents do you think we are, Sir? Course not!"

"Well." Mickey prompted.

"Well what?"

Mickey rubbed his head. He had no doubt Peter kidnapped Wendy, but he was also convinced that Wendy contributed to the process.

"Well." Mickey continued. "If Peter was outside, and all entrances were locked except Wendy's door…"

Donald, Goofy, and Pluto awarded Mickey two points as The Darlings almost lost consciousness. _Mickey 7, Hook 3! The mouse was in the house!_

" _Are? You? Insinuating?_ " Mr. Darling puffed. "That Wendy disappeared with that street rat? _On her own accord_?"

"Well ya know –" Mickey shrugged. Minnie thought he looked so cute. "—it's only a theory!"

Mrs. Darling wavered. Mickey interjected quickly before she could faint.

"But let's not worry, huh? I'll have a talk with Peter and Wendy! No more night time –er – kidnappings. Remember, we have that new contract. During park hours _,_ Wendy and Peter stay apart."

 _Sniff_ went Donald, Goofy, Minnie, and Pluto.

"Yes. Wendy's contract." said Captain Hook. "An _exceptional_ segue to the current calamity. You see, master mouse, Peter Pan – in a moment of purest vulgarity – asked Miss Wendy..."

Captain Hook grimaced. "…on a date."

Mickey's jaw dropped. He had to pick it up from the floor! "A date!?"

"Indeed. Poor girl."

"But!" Mickey looked to Minnie for help. Minnie shrugged. _This was unprecedented, and extremely out of character for Peter Pan!_ Why it was so unprecedented, Donald, Goofy and Pluto were forced to increase the tally for Captain Hook. _Surprise attack. Always worth a point._

Mickey regained his composure. "Are ya sure?"

"Quite."

"Ya heard it with your own ears?"

"It _was_ disgusting."

"Well…"Mickey thought. Then he quit. It was no use worrying: his hands were tied.

"Well I guess they'll just have to go on the date."

The Darling's cries reverberated across the country from _Disney World_ to _Disney Land_.

"The date night is open to any _Disney_ characters!" Mickey Mouse darted behind Donald and Goofy. He ducked as Mr. Darling swung his umbrella. "It's only one evening! A few harmless hours they won't remember in the morning! Good golly, if I know Peter and Wendy they'll probably have a blast!"

Mrs. Darling sobbed.

"Folks please!" Mickey attempted to reason. "Please, there's nothing I can do! Aside from tagging along with them – "

"Excellent." Captain Hook hammered his sword. The blade chinked into the floor. "An excellent idea. I accept your offer."

"Huh?" Mickey peeked over Minnie's bow. "Offer? What I made an offer? What offer?"

"I shall accompany Miss Wendy and that rascal Peter Pan, supervising the course of their…dear little date. I shall be…" Captain Hook smiled. "…their chaperone."

"Chaperone?" Mickey said. "Chaperone, chaperone? Captain Hook I'm sorry, but the villains aren't allowed on the dates – "

"Tis not a date." said Captain Hook. "Tis…oh how did you phrase it? _Tagging along_?"

"But!" Mickey objected. He'd been tricked! "But Wendy and Peter don't need – "

"Are you refusing Lord and Lady Darling?" whispered Captain Hook. "Are you refusing to accommo _date_ the man _date_ for an appropriate candi _date_ to chaperone Miss Wendy's most inappropriate _date_?"

 _Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggg._ Donald, Goofy, and Pluto cringed. _Play on words? Plus rhyming? And revenge? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggg. Well played Captain Hook. Well played._

Reluctantly, Donald, Goofy, and Pluto awarded Captain Hook a whopping three points.

 _The score was tied._ _But Mickey Mouse better hurry up and find his game face._

 _Because the war had begun._


	11. Chapter 11: Military Ball

**Chapter 11: Military Ball**

Wendy was not having a pleasant Friday.

First, it was hot and overcast, much like her temper. Second, the fairies of the _Pixie Hollow Exhibit_ would not stop pulling her hair. Third, Mr. Smee would not stop pulling her period. Fourth, she missed Peter Pan. Fifth, no matter how many times she tried, Wendy could not escape.

"Now, now." Mr. Smee wrestled Wendy back to the exhibit. Panting, he mopped his brow. "Now there's no need to fuss. Capn Hook – "

"Captain Hook!" Wendy huffed. "Is a vile, dreadful bully! And you should be ashamed to partake in his awful schemes, Mr. Smee!"

"Oh me!" Mr. Smee bumbled. "Don't speak poorly of the Capn! He's a right honest pirate, you know! And when he returns –"

"When Captain Hook returns – " Wendy informed him, " _— I_ shant be here!"

"Now come, come now!" Pleadingly Mr. Smee took Wendy's arm. He struggled to restrain her. "Don't cause a bother, Miss! Capn Hook gets frightfully upset!"

"Mr. Smee, _I_ am frightfully upset!"

"Aw Mr. Smee. Is she getting away _again_?" Tinkerbell swooped before Wendy. Playfully, she snatched at her ponytail. "Come on big, ugly girl. Let's go for a spin!"

"No –" Wendy protected her hair. "—thank you!"

Tinkerbell winked at Mr. Smee. Like a viper, she seized Wendy's wrist.

"Why not?" Tinkerbell yanked as Mr. Smee pushed from behind. Laughing, Tinkerbell urged her fairy friends to join the tug-of-war. "Too good to be a fairy fan? Or are you too chicken to fly without Peter Pan?"

Tinkerbell lurched upwards. Wendy's feet left the ground.

"Afraid no one will catch you _this time_ when you fall!?"

"Hey!" Suddenly, Jim Hawkins wrenched Wendy down. A fox darted under his legs and a blue alien crouched over his shoulder. "She said no thank you."

All fairies but Tinkerbell retreated. Haughtily she glanced at the _Disney_ _World_ tourists.

"Could someone tell me who this is?" Tinkerbell twirled, waiting for a response. "Noooobody? Nobody at all? _Hmph_."

Tinkerbell sneered at Jim. "Guess you're just a _has been_ – or a _never_ _has been_. Isn't that too bad, Jimbubble?"

Jim twitched. Then, he cued the blue alien. "Stitch. Charge."

" _Meega nala kweesta_!" Stitch vaulted into Tinkerbell. Happy as Godzilla at Christmas he attacked Tinkerbell's bun. " _Tookie bah wah! KWEESTA_!"

Fairies scattered. Tinkerbell screamed. Parents snapped pictures. The kids went wild.

Unemotionally, Jim took Wendy's hand. "Come on. Let's blow."

Though she was a little appalled by Stitch's behavior, Wendy followed. She stepped carefully as the fox wove between their legs.

"Jim." She said as Stitch released a war cry. "Jim will – "

"Oh now Miss! Miss Wendy none of this now!" Mr. Smee blocked their exit. "Capn Hook will be right cross if you flee with this disreputable pirate!"

The fox growled. Jim jerked at Mr. Smee. "Boo."

Mr. Smee fled, red pompom bouncing behind him.

Rolling his eyes, Jim resumed course. "Seafarers."

Wendy felt the skip return to her step.

"That!" she beamed, "Was wonderful! Thank you Jim! Thank you! And thank you too, um…Mr. Fox?"

"Todd. From _The Fox in the Hound_. Another _never_ _has been_ movie." Jim turned to the fox. "Sorry Todd."

Todd shrugged good-naturedly and padded to a park bench.

"That was very rude of Tinkerbell." Wendy told Jim. She felt horribly for him, but smiled excitedly all the same. _She was free! She was free!_

Increasing her pace, Wendy turned down the path. She headed for the open park. "But you must know it's not true, Jim! Not a word of it. You're so brave to save me. Thank you! Now I can find Peter and – "

"Whoa. Easy speedster. Better sit down."

"Sit down?"

"Yup."

"You mean – not here?"

"X marks the spot." Jim settled on the bench. Todd curled beside him. "Park it."

Wendy had the decency to be offended.

"I will not _park it_." She pointed to the _Pixie Hollow Exhibit_ , still ravaged by Stitch. "I've been trying to escape all day! And Jim whilst I appreciate your help _so_ very much, I simply must go."

"Wendy – "

"Thank you." Wendy turned on her heel. "And goodbye. Oh!"

Wendy bumped into two pirates. Both were tall, scrappy, and disreputable as Jim: Long John Silver the cyborg, and "Captain" Jack Sparrow.

"Marvelous!" Naturally as if she'd asked him, Jack fell into Wendy and started to dance. Slightly off kilter, he waltzed Wendy in circles, occasionally stepping on her toes. "Splendid idea, Love. What says you we tango the Brazilian sloth-trot, ay? Magnificent dance, usually done in flippers."

"Sparrow!" Silver's robotic eye socket revolved. Radiographic sensors trailed Wendy and Jack. "Sparrow what the devil are ye – "

"Passing the time with beautiful things, mate." Jack wobbled as he forced Wendy through a pirouette. The spinning almost made him lose his balance. But Jack rather enjoyed the experience and twirled Wendy again. "As we wait to hand the spritely lass over to Captain Jimmy!"

"Ye mean Pan!" corrected Silver. "Hand her over te Pan!"

"How's that?"

"Pan!"

"Can, can? Magnificent dance. Bit breezy though down under – "

"No." Silver growled. "Ye said we'd hand the lass te Hook."

"Captain Jimmy?! Dreadful fellow. Nasty moustache. Disagreeable hook, 'specially in the bath. Why hand the spritely lass to Jimmy, then ay?"

"Ye said it!"

"Said what?

"We hand the lass te Capn Hook!"

"Well that's not the plan! The plan is Pan and Pan is the plan!" Jack dipped Wendy over his knee. Secretively he leaned. "Really Love, he's not making any sense a'tall!"

"Blue blazes!" Silver detached Wendy from Jack and passed her to Jim. "Jimbo! Watch her! Keep a sharp eye. And Sparrow! Yer with me! We're dog watchin' the perimeter."

" _Captain_ …" Jack corrected, flicking a limp hand. " _Captain_ Jack Sparrow. Now then. Mi' Lovely…?"

Fluidly as running water, Jack kissed Wendy's hand and sashayed after Silver. "Been exhilarating Love. Exhilarating. Cha, cha me hearty yo ho!"

Jack teetered to Long John Silver's invisible perimeter. Pausing only for selfies with children ("Why do you call it a selfie if there's other people in it then, ay?"), the pirates prowled landmarks equidistant from Wendy and Jim.

Wendy turned. "Jim? What's going on?"

Stitch scurried by. Jim shifted as the little alien crawled onto his lap.

"You better sit, Wen."

Wendy sat. She edged nervously as Stitch crept closer.

"Stitch-" Jim motioned between them. "Meet Wendy. Wendy – Stitch."

"Oh. Um." Wendy froze as Stitch continued his investigation. She could not decide if the blue koala-like creature was ugly, deformed, cute, or fluffy. Possibly he was a combination of all four.

"Um. Well. Pleased to meet you. Stitch."

Stitch rotated. His ear flicked. Then he plopped onto Wendy's lap. "Saari morcheeba."

"Oh." Wendy touched her cheek. "What did he say?"

Jim glanced. Stitch was cuddling Wendy like a baby duck. "I'm guessing something along the lines of _I just kicked that fairy's butt_."

Stitch burped, regurgitating chunks of Tinkerbell's hair. "Ika patootie."

Todd smiled. His tail swished as Jim scratched his ear.

"Jim." Wendy repeated. "What's going on? Why are you, Todd, Stitch, Mr. Silver, and Mr. Sparrow – "

"Captain!" called Jack.

"—Captain Sparrow." Wendy corrected. "Here?"

Jim raised an eyebrow. "We're protecting you."

"Protecting me?"

"Looks like you needed it."

"No! Well yes – but no, but. But why?"

"Villains suck. Friend in need. Plus – " he added. "—we were hired."

"Hired?" Wendy asked "By whom?"

"Oh please." Jim said. "Wendy, who do you think?"

"…Peter?"

"Cha."

Wendy's heart melted to butter. "Oh that was…how thoughtful."

Jim rolled his eyes. "We're the ones doing the dirty work, remember?"

"Oh, yes certainly. Thank you."

"Don't apologize." Jim said. "Actually I can't knock Peter, it was a brilliant idea: fighting pirates with pirates. Think he also recruited Mulan and Merida – they've got some sort of grudge against the pixies. But…I think Stitch did okay."

Wendy glanced at the _Pixie Hollow Exhibit_. Stitch had done more than _okay_. Stitch had shred the entire attraction into confetti and broken wings.

Tinkerbell noticed their stares. She curled a lip as Wendy turned away.

"Well." Wendy said. "Not that this isn't lovely…but…"

She looked down. Stitch was picking his nose.

"But...why isn't Peter here himself?"

Jim frowned. "Peter said you're under a contract or something, right?"

Wendy laughed. "Well, Peter never follows rules! He hardly knows what they are, and I'm certainly not going to stand for this. After all, it's only piece of paper. I don't have to comply."

Jim glanced at Todd. "Actually you kind of do."

"Well actually I 'kind of' don't"

"Actually…" Jim turned. "…you kind of do. Peter tried, we saw him. He tried to fly right over here. But he hit this…I dunno invisible wall. He tried to run but then his joints stopped working, like they'd been turned to rust."

Wendy gasped. "Truly? How horrid! Why did that happen?"

"You're under contract." Jim said. "A magical contract. It's like that movie."

"Movie? What movie?"

Jim paused. He squeezed Todd's fur. "You know. That movie. Uh – you know. The Little Mermaid. Where Ari – where she signs the contract. For her voice. Because she lov– "

Jim's voice caught. Wendy waited as he cleared his throat, embarrassed to understand Jim's feelings for Ariel. Wendy was a shameless romantic. She could recognize a broken heart even through Jim's iron shell.

"The point is that it's like that movie." Jim continued. "Magic contracts are binding. So I think you're stuck."

"But last night!" Wendy protested. "I was with Peter last night!"

"Wendy I'm sorry. It must only be during park hours. Peter said you have to share Disney World happiness and magic alongside Captain Hook. Wow." Jim nudged Todd. "How's that for a sick and twisted oxymoron?"

"But I can't! I don't want to!" Wendy was frantic. "I don't want to spend forever with Captain Hook!"

"Wen, I _really_ don't know what to tell you."

"But its Captain Hook! Its Captain Hook!" In spite of herself, Wendy hugged Stitch like a teddy bear. "Jim _its Captain Hook_!"

"Wendy chill, it'll be fine!" Jim took her shoulders. "That's why we're here, that's why Pan hired us. You might have to stick it out with Captain Hook, but we won't let him skin you alive or anything."

" _Skin me alive_?"

"Ya ya!" Stitch clapped.

"Bad choice of words!" Jim moved so Todd could nuzzle Wendy's leg. "But you get the drift. We're here to guard you. I promise nothing is going to happen. I'm here. Todd's here. Stitch is here. Silver and Sparrow – "

"—Captain!"

"—are right over there. Trust me." Jim gave her a shake. "This is a military stake out."

"That's right!"

Merida, Mulan, and Rapunzel (armed with bow, sword, and frying pan) hopped over the bench.

"Sorry we're late!" Rapunzel offered Wendy a spatula. "But Tiana wanted you to have this!"

Wendy accepted the gift. "A spatula?"

"It's a weapon! To fight!" Rapunzel motioned bellow her waist. "Aim low."

Wendy had no response. She doubted there was a proper one. Dolefully she rubbed her hair. "Does _everyone_ know about my contract with Captain Hook?"

Rapunzel beamed. "Yup, I think so. Everyone also knows aboouuuuuut….."

She tickled Wendy. "You're date!"

Wendy's stomach double flipped. "What? How? What, what are they saying? How do they know?"

"You should hear Peter!" Rapunzel danced in place. "Crowing like there's no tomorrow! _Except_ there _is_ a tomorrow and _tomorrow are our dates_!"

"Ooo, yeah. Which reminds me." Merida shoved Jim. "Ye wanna go on a fake date?"

Jim, under the circumstances, was extremely calm. "Geeze. You ask so nice. What's the game?"

Merida explained. "Well Mickey Mouse is openin' the Magic Kingdom gates and lettin' everybody go into the real world, yeah? And there's a haochin load o' couples going, and if we want to be part of the adventure we better have dates."

Jim nodded. "Go on."

"So…" Merida said "I _dinnae_ want to be _tied down_ to a doofy date! I want my freedom! I want to explore! And I figured ye did as well. Now, since I dinnae find ye attractive – "

"Thanks?"

"—and I know yer not flittering yer tenderloins for me! So waddaya say? Fake date, then we ditch?"

Merida extended a hand. Jim considered, then he shook.

"You want flowers?"

"Nah!"

"Candy?"

"No."

"Mix CD?"

"Only if there's Celtic rock."

"Deal." Jim said. "Fake date. Where am I picking you up?"

Mulan sheathed her sword. "You guys are _something else_."

Merida shrugged. She waved an arrow at Rapunzel. "Rapunzel did ye ask if we could meet at Wendy's?"

"Just about to!" Rapunzel patted Wendy's knees. "Wennnnnnnndy? Can we please, pretty please, please please, please, please come over to your house before the dates? You know to do hair and stuff?"

Wendy looked between Merida and Rapunzel. _Do hair? That would be a large order._

"How many people?" she asked.

"Well me, Merida, maybe Ariel – she doesn't know _quote on quote_ if Eric is going to ask her on a date yet – "

Wendy glanced at Jim. Jim glanced away.

"And it's just for hair!" Rapunzel continued, bouncing on her feet. "We won't have to do outfits or anything! Since we need to be in disguise Edna Mode is designing our ' _real world costumes'_ and Fairy Godmother is going to _poof_ us into them at the _Girl's Locker Room_! Just like in _Cinderella_! _Bibbity bobbity boo_! So…"

Rapunzel puckered her lip. "Please?"

Wendy smiled. "Well yes. Yes of course. As a matter of fact, it would be nice to have company. Mother and father have been quite cross lately."

"Yeah we figured." Mulan said. "Flynn was skulking through _Cinderella's Castle_ and he overhead Mickey Mouse agreeing to let Captain Hook chaperone your date."

Wendy turned so fast Stitch fell from her lap.

" _What_?"

Mulan blinked. "Yeah. Flynn heard it. Didn't you know?"

Wendy was aghast. She was so aghast that she did not notice Tinkerbell had turned a violent shade of red and her eyes a violent shade of green.

"I didn't! Of course I didn't know! But… _does Peter know_?"


	12. Chapter 12: Wendy, Wendi, Peter,and Pete

**Chapter 12: Wendy, Wendi, Peter, and Pete**

"Hey! Oi! Princess! You want to go on a date?"

Giggles. "Sure prince charming! What will we do?"

"Um..." said Prince Phillip.

"Um..." said Prince Edward.

"Um..." said Shang.

"Um..." said Emperor Kuzco.

"Um..." said Beast.

"Um..." said Prince Aladdin.

"Um..." said Prince Charming.

"Um..." said every _Disney_ gentleman and prince. They forgot. Asking for a date was the easy part: just grip your sword, strike a pose, and pray she accepts. But planning the date was another monster all together.

Unlike the _Manly Bible of Manliness: The Bro Code_ , dating did not come with a manual. There were no rules, no guidelines, and no instructions. Their soul criteria had come from Prince Edward's initial description, and none of the _Disney_ gentlemen were comfortable taking _that_ to the bank.

In a moment of desperation, they begged for Mickey Mouse's help. However, Mickey had tersely recommended " _Just treat them like princesses_!" to which the _Disney_ gentlemen replied " _But they ARE princesses_!" and they were back to square one.

Yes. The _Disney_ princes would have to think for themselves. It promised to be an excruciating date night.

But Peter Pan wasn't the least concerned. Actually, Peter was in somewhat of a daze and had been since the previous night. Everything had happened and ended so unexpectedly. One moment Peter was a heartbeat from consuming all of the magic inside Wendy's lips, and feeling more powerful than he had ever imagined. It was the nearest he had ever been to her.

But in the next moment, Wendy was extinguished from his life. Neither magic nor brute force could bring them together, and Peter felt more powerless than he had ever imagined. It was the farthest he had ever been from her.

Peter rocked, hands around his knees. He was caught in a cobweb of ups and downs, but that wasn't the puzzling part. The puzzling part was that even though he was forbidden to see her, Peter could not stop thinking about Wendy. Asleep, awake, interacting, or perfectly alone, Wendy was in his head.

And it hurt. It hurt to only have memories of Wendy. If only he could reach inside his head and pull her out. But he could not. He could only remember and imagine. And it hurt Peter, right in the middle of his chest.

But strangest of all, Peter did not mind the hurt. In fact, he craved it.

"Hey! Peter Pan! Boy wonder! Snap out of it!"

Peter blinked. Focus readjusting, he smiled. "Hi!"

"Don't _hi_ me!" Flynn hissed. "Come on! Move, move, move! I gots news! Bad ju ju! Follow me!"

Peter cocked his head. Flynn was wearing espionage sunglasses and the Mad Hatter's enormous 10/6 top hat. He was plastered behind Peter's resting place - an ice cream trolley - and kept ducking as children passed. Peter grinned. He liked it when characters went out of their way to amuse him.

"Come on!" Flynn beckoned, hat slipping over his sunglasses. "Come on, hup, hup, hup! Move! What's the hold up?"

Peter leaned on his knee. "You look funny."

"I'm _in-cog-ni-to_!"

"Yuck."

"It means _I'm in disguise,_ you nitwit! Come on!" Flynn jammed the Mad Hatter's hat on Peter. "Try to look inconspicuous! Into the tea cups! We gotta have speaks in secret!"

Indiscreetly as possible, Flynn whisked Peter to the _Mad Tea Party_ , a spinning teacup ride infamous for motion sickness and making people throw up. It was the perfect location for a secret meeting.

"All right!" Flynn peered out of their teacup. The turntable started to spin. "Coast is clear! Oh geeps!"

Flynn pursed his lips. "This ride makes me sick! But, I can stomach it! The villains will never be able to catch us here!"

Peter seized the center steering wheel. He pulled, making the cup spin faster. "Villains? What do they want with you now?"

"Something about a stolen magic mirror." Flynn covered his mouth. His cheeks turned green. "And something else about death by poisonous apple cider, but those are details. No Pan - I've gotta talk to you 'bout Captain Hook."

"Hook?" Peter gripped the wheel. His knuckles cracked. "What about that ol' codfish?"

"Uhhhh..." Flynn clutched his stomach. The ride increased speed, tossing his lunch in circles. "I was in _Cinderella's Castle._..usual situation...stealin' stuff...uhhhh, whew...long story short...your date with Wendy - "

Flynn belched. As he muffled a second, Peter thought of Wendy and smiled.

"-your date with Wendy." Flynn continued. "Hook's sponsoring. Hook's going. Hook's your chaperone."

" _What_?!" Peter leapt from his seat. The 10/6 top hat flew off his head. "Hook's going? On my date? With Wendy?"

Flynn groaned. "You're powers of reiteration are stunning."

Peter wrung Flynn's collar. "Hook can't do that! I won't allow it!"

"Mickey Mouse said yes. Oh my lunch...oh my kibbles...oh have mercy, make it stop!"

Peter held his bangs. "What about Wendy?"

"She knows. Rapunzel told her."

"But Wendy! She likes things just so! And - " Peter's nerves whirled faster than the cups. " - and there is something that I need to finish! Something that I need to try! And I need Wendy! Just Wendy alone! And last night Hook wouldn't let me -"

"Don't gripe to me!" Flynn wailed, his cheeks the color of spinach. "Just make these freakin teacups stop!"

Peter jumped into the air. "Then I'll gripe to Hook! I'll slice off his other one! Thanks, Flynn!"

"Hey!" Flynn groped teacup. As Peter flew off he dripped to the floor like a puddle of Jello.

"Uhhhh..." Flynn moaned. He was a martyr crucified on an evil spinning teacup. "That's the last time I do something nice for somebody else! Oh wait...I mean..."

Flynn swallowed his lunch. "...right after Rapunzel's date. Nuts to you Peter Pan!"

Peter whizzed to _Cinderella's Castle_. He flew so furiously and so fast, tourists could not capture him on camera or video tape. He was just an emerald streak whistling through the sky.

"Hook!" Peter bolted between windows, looking for Captain Hook or Mickey Mouse inside. The windows reminded him of Wendy's locked nursery, which made Peter angry enough to throw stones. He did, broke the stained glass, and was shooed away by Dumbo and Dumbo's manager, Timothy Q. Mouse.

"Scram! Buzz off ya clown!" called Timothy Q. Mouse. Timothy was a city mouse, straight from New York City sewers. He swung his fist as Dumbo flapped away. "This ain't the circus, ya know! Scram before I stick ya to _Mickey, The Big Cheese_!"

 _Mice!_ Peter threw his hat. He floated over it, stomped on it, and then stuffed it on his head. _Tattletale mice! They always stick together!_

Peter cursed. So unhappy were his thoughts, he could not fly! Instead, he paced around the _Prince Charming Regal Carousel_ making lap after wrathful lap.

It wasn't fair! Not only had Captain Hook taken Wendy during _Disney World_ duties, but he now was stealing her away _after_ park hours too! What was next? Sleeping?!

Peter threw his hat again. The last thought infuriated him, but he didn't know why. But it made him want to scalp Captain Hook one evil layer at a time.

Nevertheless, Peter knew a rescue was in order! It was inevitable! First of all, he could not keep hiring Jim Hawkins and his pirate friends to protect Wendy. Although it worked the first time, Peter suspected ' _Do it - or else_!' would not persuade Jim forever. Second, Peter _still_ wasn't sure _what_ a _date_ was, but he _was_ sure that Hook would ruin it for Wendy. And third...

Peter pressed his lips. They still tingled from last night.

He had unfinished business with Wendy - and he _did not_ want Hook there to supervise.

Peter dropped his face into his hands. _There had to be a way._ Peter ruffled his hair, praying it would stimulate his brain. _There had to be a way to escape Captain Hook!_

"Um. Hey. Yo. Dude? Uh...Peter Pan?"

Peter looked. Immediately his eyebrow raised.

A teenager stood before Peter. A boy. He was the oddest boy Peter had ever seen. He wore black boots, black jeans, black T-shirt, black bracelets, black eyeliner, and he even had a thick head of fringy black hair. Peter scoped up and down. The boy's only color were in his eyes, and they were dark brown, not much of an improvement.

Peter shifted onto his knees. He was almost fascinated. Surrounded by the _Disney_ pomp and circumstance, the boy looked very out of place and _extremely_ out of his comfort zone.

Normally Peter would have teased such a dismal looking character. But he was interested why the boy had approached him, and by name no less!

"Look uh, dude." The boy scuffed his feet. "I don't want an autograph or anything. And I'm not here for me. But uh..."

The boy half turned, motioning at someone directly behind him. Peter squinted. The boy was making strange signs with his hands. It was almost like he was talking. Leaning, Peter tried to see who was behind him.

" _Come_." The boy pointed two index fingers down then up, like an air traffic controller. " _Come_. It's okay. _Come_. _Come_. Okay, hold on dude. Ya see..."

The boy knelt. Gently he lifted a little girl.

Peter's heart melted. The little girl, a tiny pixie of a thing, was in costume. She wore a light blue nightdress, a light blue sash, and a light blue bow in her silky hair. For a second, she looked at Peter with big blue eyes. Then, she buried them into the boy.

For the first time that day, Peter smiled. The little girl was dressed as Wendy.

"This is my sister." The boy said. "She's four. She wanted to see Wendy but we couldn't find her."

The boy set the little girl before Peter. "So I figured you were next on her list. She's kinda shy so..."

Peter scooted towards the little girl. Immediately she recoiled into her brother.

"Hi!" Peter hopped closer. He was practically singing with happiness. "I'm Peter Pan! You look like someone I know! Is your name Princess Wendy?"

The little girl clung to her brother. Then, without looking at Peter, she slid a finger from her ear to her mouth.

Peter cocked his head. _What was that? What had she done? Was it code? Cool!_

The boy spoke. "She's deaf. She uh...she can't hear what you're saying."

Peter's insides stopped singing. As the boy continued, he studied the little girl.

"She got meningitis when she was a baby. It's a disease or something. Either way she can't hear, so she doesn't really talk. Except for sign language. Did you see that motion she just made? She was telling you she's deaf."

Protectively the boy rubbed his sister's belly. "Her name is Wendi actually. Wendi with an 'i.' The sign for her name is this..."

Holding up three fingers, the boy waved them like a butterfly. "...because she wants to fly. Like Wendy in the story."

The little girl - Wendi - caught her brother's movement. Pinching her thumb, index, and middle fingers, she chopped them over her eyes.

"Uh. Yeah." Grinning, the boy straightened her bow. "That was my name sign. A _'p'_ with choppy bangs. My name is Pete. Short for Peter. Our parents have a sick sense of humor."

Peter would have been flattered to be Pete's namesake, but he had stopped listening. He was utterly charmed by the miniature Wendy that could not hear him - just like the real Wendy, trapped on the other side of her nursery window.

Peter sat on his knees. He held up three fingers, making a ' _w_.' He waited for the little girl to notice. Then, Peter waved his fingers to sign her name.

"Wendi?"

Wendi smiled. Happiness crinkled her eyes.

Peter held out one finger, inviting her to take it. Sometimes a whole hand was scary.

Wendi gazed. Then, after a comforting nod from Pete, she joined Peter Pan.

Peter saw the sparkles go off as Wendi cross the barrier between reality and fantasy. It was his favorite part, creating the magical moment that she would never forget.

But Peter Pan should have known better - this little girl was pretending to be Wendy. She wore the same blue ribbon and gazed shyly with the same blue eyes. They even shared the same name.

So Peter should have known: something magical was going to happen to him. And when it did, Peter Pan was unprepared.

Wendi placed her little hands on his shoulders and little feet between his knees. She stood upon her little tip toes and lifted her little head. And then, the miniature Wendy touched her little lips to Peter Pan's nose.

Comets banged and sparkled in Peter's head.

He gasped. "Wendi! Little Wendi! _Was that a kiss_?"

"Dude." Pete said, "Dude, remember. She can't hear you."

"Oh. Right. Sorry - lemmie try again."

Peter cupped his hand around Wendi's ear.

"Wendi?" he whispered. "Was that a kiss?"

Pete was a good brother. Actually he was the best. True, he was rough around the edges, cynical to a fault, and deliberately wore black nail polish to annoy his parents, _but_ Pete loved his little sister. He'd never let anyone tease her. He'd never let anyone hurt her. He'd defend her until the very end. He was her knight in shining armor.

So when Peter Pan whispered in Wendi's ear, Pete got mad. But he stopped being mad when Wendi tilted her head, waited until Peter Pan was through, then _nodded_ to answer his question.

 _Yes. That was a kiss._

Pete never believed in magic before. But as they departed, Wendi skipping to a song in her head, Pete thought that maybe...maybe it wouldn't hurt to try. Maybe, he could give magic a whirl. Maybe. And...possibly, he would also try to enjoy their _Disney World_ family vacation.

Peter Pan waved goodbye. He gazed after the two children named after Wendy and himself.

Then, Peter noticed little Wendi's shoes. They were the only article not matching her costume. She was wearing sneakers. Each time she skipped, lights glittered inside the heels. Like pixie dust.

Peter scratched his head. Most parents made their children wear sneakers - the _Disney World_ parks were big. Sneakers made it easier for children to walk.

And run.

Peter smiled.

"Now I've got it Wendy! _That's_ how we can escape Captain Hook!"


	13. Chapter 13: Evil Ain't Easy

**Chapter 13: Evil Ain't Easy**

"Well, as I squabble me eyes. What a lovely night. A restful change from this afternoon. I trust tomorrow there will be no more…unpleasantries."

Wendy scowled. She removed her arm from Captain Hook's.

"No more unpleasantries?" Wendy lifted her chin. "You will not be joining us then, Captain Hook?"

Wendy had hoped to be insulting. But Captain Hook merely laughed.

True to his word, Captain Hook had honored The Darling's contract. Following their parlay with Mickey Mouse, he escorted Wendy through the _Magic Kingdom_ without the slightest disturbance from Peter Pan.

It was _wonderful_. Peter Pan had simply been erased. Wendy's magical contract repelled the boy like inset spray, resulting in a marvelous, pest-free day. It was the jolliest Captain Hook had been since making Wendy walk the plank. Why, he'd even graced a little boy with an autographed picture – not with the boy in it of course! It was a snapshot of Captain Hook himself, which he signed with an inspirational quote: _Remember, pirates never clean their rooms! Yo ho ho, etc - Captain Hook._

Although it was wonderful to feel that Peter Pan had been wiped from the face of the earth, the day had not been without conflict. Captain Hook had returned from _Cinderella's Castle_ to find Wendy guarded by a band of undesirable _Disney_ characters. The characters – Long John Silver, Jim Hawkins, Stitch, Todd, and that _insufferable_ Jack Sparrow – were the outcasts of _Disney_ society. Clearly this was the work of Peter Pan!

Captain Hook despised them all, especially Long John and Jack. They were shifty pirates, affiliating with neither good nor evil. Their moralities blew with the wind and their allegiances belonged to silver and gold. Captain Hook scoffed – _bad form_. _Pick a side, and stick with it_.

Captain Hook also disliked Jim Hawkins. The boy was a shark, silent and always moving. He was dangerously resourceful, and commonly drew from both good and evil assets. Jim identified with ' _the good_ ' but was not afraid to explore both sides; and _that_ made him dangerous. So, when Jim remained on Wendy's left, Captain remained on her right. Just in case. And just until he could pick Jim Hawkins apart.

"The unpleasantries to which I referred, were directed towards your ragtag friends, Miss Wendy. However…" Captain Hook pushed Wendy up her family's doorsteps. "…you are witty has you are lovely. I shall look forward to that on _our_ date."

Wendy pushed his hand from her waist. Darkly, she muttered.

"What?" Captain Hook said. "What was that, my dear?"

Wendy turned. She'd had enough.

"My date is with Peter Pan, _not_ _with_ _you_ Captain Hook! You've spoiled everything for no other reason than you are a spiteful, unkind, evil pirate! Peter Pan and I will have a lovely date and there is _nothing_ you can do to stop us! We are not afraid of you! And if you think that for one minute, I'm going to allow you to – "

"My dear." Captain Hook stepped onto the threshold, forcing Wendy against the door. He caught her hand before it reached the handle. " _Do not_ run your mouth at _me_. For if you continue…"

He placed the tip of his hook upon Wendy's lower lip. The fragile skin puckered, but did not break.

"If you continue my little _siren_ , then Peter Pan may not be as easily _seduced_. All it will take…"

Lightly, Captain Hook twisted his wrist. The metal tip pulled her skin. "…is one flick."

He smiled as Wendy squirmed. Smugly he removed the hook. "Do I make myself clear?"

Wendy touched her lip, inspecting for wounds. There were none. But Captain Hook's lewd comments were sharp enough to draw blood.

Wendy glared. Then pushing from the door, she stood up to Captain Hook.

"You are _disgusting_. You are _vile_. And Peter Pan _will_ _stop you_. Because you, Captain Hook, are _worthless_ for love."

Trembling, Wendy gripped her skirt. She held her head high. "Do _I_ make myself clear?"

Captain Hook stared. Then, his eyes flashed red.

"You will pay for that. Mark my words, Wendy Darling. _You will pay_. _I?_ Worthless for love? Well. You should know." Captain Hook opened the door. He threw Wendy inside. "Because Peter Pan cannot love! So _you_ are _worthless_ for his!"

The door slammed. Captain Hook turned. He froze as Wendy reopened and slammed the door at his back, getting the last word.

Captain Hook hissed.

"How _dare_ you. You little…" He fingered his hook. He could feel the metal flexing. He almost retaliated. He almost crossed the threshold, dragged Wendy Darling from her nursery window, and sliced her lips from her pretty little face.

But Captain Hook did not. For one, the girl's parents were inside and Peter Pan was surely waiting at her nursery window. And two…

Captain Hook gazed from The Darling's doorstep. There was a couple across the way, sharing a streetlamp. It was a heroine and a villain, and they caught his attention.

The woman was glittering directly beneath the light, pure as snow. The man was reclined from the light. Rest against the post, the man spoke softly to the woman. They exchanged politely until the man advanced. Then, perhaps a little sadly, the woman left.

"Well, well." Maleficent melted from the darkness. Standing aside Captain Hook, she gestured grandly to the man and woman slowly splitting apart.

"Elsa of Arendelle. And Prince Hans of the Southern Isles." Maleficent laughed. "Charming couple. How quaint. Prince Hans was soliciting the little snow queen for a date, no doubt."

Captain Hook watched Elsa depart. She left a trail of twinkling snowflakes.

"Dear me." Maleficent said. "The snow queen's cold shoulder. Alas. Poor Hans and his quest for power."

"Or are Hans' intentions otherwise? Could he be in love?" Jafar smoked upon the doorstep. Shifting into a scarlet genie, he gleamed at Captain Hook with golden eyes. "Or are villains _worthless_? _Worthless_ _for love_?"

Captain Hook bristled as Jafar quoted Wendy's curse. He could still hear her, echoing in his head.

"Worthless." Captain Hook strolled down the steps. Naturally, the villains joined Hans. They fell into step, matching each other's pace and feeding off each other's anger like a pack of wolves.

"Worthless for love. And worthless for dates! Villains are the luckless scum of _Disney_! Why should only heroes be privileged with dates? Tis the fault of that Mouse! Mickey the Good! Mickey the Glorious! Mickey the Great! Mickey – " Captain Hook snarled. "—the glutton of villains!"

A voice spoke overhead.

"Guess evil ain't easy? Is it chumps?"

They stopped. Heads revolved to a lime-green sparkle hiding atop the lamppost.

"Miss Bell." The villains growled at Tinkerbell as Captain Hook tipped his hat. "Yes. Evil is a tragic, parasitic character flaw. Tis _bitter_. Very bitter. _But so_ …"

Captain Hook iced his voice. "… _is_ _jealousy_."

Tinkerbell tipped over the street light. "True. Both of them – bitter to the bone. But, do you know what makes _evil_ and _jealousy_ sweet?"

Captain Hook raised a brow. The villains leaned, inviting her response.

Tinkerbell smiled. She pointed at Wendy's nursery window.

" _Revenge_."


	14. Chapter 14: EXTREME Makeover

**Chapter 14: EXTREME Makeover**

It was finally date night!

And everyone was miserable.

" _What are you talking about_? What do you mean the glasses _suck_?"

Jim Hawkins glared at Edna Mode through black square-rimmed glasses. They had magically appeared with rest of Edna's design for his 'real world' outfit.

And Jim hated them. "It means they _freaking_ _suck_."

Edna was personally insulted.

"It's called _hipster_ , Dahling!"

Edna removed her own signature frames. "Look! I have the hipster glasses as well! Do I need them? HA! No! But you ask: _why do I wear them_?"

Edna donned her glasses. Haughtily she flipped her bob. "Because they are _fabulous_ , Dahling!"

Jim rolled his eyes. "Hipster is _so mainstream_."

If Edna had a gun, she would have shot him.

"Mainstream? _I_? _MAINSTREAM_?"

Edna Mode was a fashion designer. Actually, she was an obsessive-compulsive self-proclaimed genius mascaraing as a fashion designer. She embraced the power of perfection, and believed that those who claimed perfection was unattainable were either (1) not trying hard enough or (2) dead.

Edna was her own greatest cheerleader and her own worst critic. She strove for originality. She craved a challenge. As a result, her clothing styles were always a blend of creativity, beauty, and efficiency. And they were _never_ , _ever_ mainstream.

"Mickey the Mouse begged me to design your silly date outfits!" Edna said. "Begged! _Disguise them as real people_ , he said! _Design for a first date_ , he said _! Edna you are fabulous_ , he said!

" _I look_ – " Jim motioned, "— _ridiculous_! This whole get-up is ridiculous! Except for the hat—" Jim consented, touching the backwards newsboy, "The hat is cool. But the rest – ridiculous."

"The rest – " Edna corrected. "—is fabulous Dahling!"

" _I_ – " Jim said. "— _disagree_! Change it!"

"Change it? Change it! You cannot _change_ a masterpiece, Dahling! Would you change Beethoven's _Symphony No. 5_? Would you change Van Gogh's _Starry Night_? Would you change _The Princess Bride_ movie script? Would you change Thor's six pack? Would you change _Godiva_ chocolate? And _The David_! Ah! Michelangelo's masterpiece sculpture _The David_! Would you change _The David_?"

"I'd give him boxer briefs!" Jim roared. "Now change my clothes!"

Edna refused.

"Your clothes are perfect!" Edna pointed furiously at each article. "Newsboy cap -backwards! Glasses – hipster! Dark wash jeans –best fit! Boots – combat! Blazer – black. Shirt – graphic-tee with a movie reference that _NOBODY understands_!"

"It's freaking Dr. Who!" Jim growled, yanking his shirt.

"You see!" Edna shrieked. "This outfit is _perfect_! It is the embodiment of your rotten attitude and poor taste! But most of all – _IT. IS. FABULOUS_!"

"Fabulous my ass!" Jim tore off the glasses. "You messed up my vision! I had perfect eyesight before! Now I _can't see_ _without_ these things!"

"So put them on, Dahling! Your 20/20 vision will return at midnight, along with your filthy rags."

"I'd rather die than go out in public looking like a creep!"

"That never stopped you before, Dahling!"

Flynn sighed. "Well this is gonna be a long one. My money's on Edna."

Peter grinned. "Jimbo's going down faster than an unhappy thought! Ha ha! Look at the spit fly! Wish I had a video camera."

"Hey!" Flynn snapped. "Brilliant, Panster! That gives me an idea! For my date with Rapunzel! Ya know how we're going to forget everything? At midnight?"

Peter nodded. "Sure. Stupid Maleficent."

"Well!" Flynn hooked his arm around Peter's neck. "What if I _videotaped_ our date? Yeah? Ya know? Like with a video camera! I'll just hip hop to a local techy store, exchange my lucrative earnings commandeered from _Cinderella's Castle_ for an over-priced video camera, and _tape our date_! The next day Rapunzel and I can watch it! And hey presto – we'll be able to remember our first date!"

"Watch out!" Aladdin said. He was taking Jasmine on a magic-carpet picnic. Thus, his outfit was more relaxed: white cargo-shorts, purple V neck, and red beanie. "That could bite you in the butt."

"Ohhh believe you me!" Flynn tucked both thumbs behind imaginary suspenders. "Rapunzel is going to have the _best date ever_! A Flynn Rider guarantee!"

"Where are you taking her?" Shang asked. He was wearing an oversized jersey – he and Mulan were going to an _Orlando Magic_ basketball game.

Flynn shrugged. "No idea! Gonna wing it – more my style! That is, after we all meet up for lazer tag!"

"Lazer tag?" said Peter. "What's that? It sounds fun!"

"It's tag." Flynn answered. "You play it with lazers."

"Real lazers?"

"Fake."

"Too bad!"

"I know!"

"Would Wendy like lazer tag?"

Flynn tapped his chin. "She like fun?"

Peter nodded. "Yes."

"She like competition?"

Peter thought of their Thursday night locker-room races. "Oh yes."

"She like fun team-based games where players aim futuristic looking phasers at lights on the vests of their opponents in a painless and completely harmless free-for-all to scores points where the team having the most amount of points wins the game?"

Peter thought. Then he smiled. "I think Wendy would like that!"

"Okay!" Flynn said. "Then you and Wendy meet us at….at….what did Mickey Mouse call that place?"

"The mall!" Kuzco called. His bling glittered across the locker-room – he was taking Charlotte La Bouffe clubbing.

"Right!" Flynn saluted. "The mall! You and Wendy meet us at _the mall_ for lazer tag, giggles, and probably a lot of girly stuff that will destroy our manhood!"

Peter twisted the towel around his waist. "I thought we were meeting at Wendy's house."

"Oh yeahhhh." Flynn winked. "That's right. Ho, ho, ho. Meeting the parents! Ya nervous?"

"Nervous?" Peter said. "About what?"

"You're kidding right?" Incredulous, Flynn shook Peter's arm. "Nervous about _meeting Wendy's parents_. Or rather, should I say, _impressing_ Wendy's parents."

Peter was confused. "They're not going on the date."

"But _their daughter_ is!" Flynn said. "And take it from me, Buddy! When I met Mr. and Mrs. _Flower-Gleam-And-Glow-Let-Your-Power-Shine_ , they were on me like piranhas! Rapunzel's parents _hated_ me! They love me now – alas I'm the son they never had – BUT if you don't impress Wendy's parents there is _no way_ they're letting Wendy go on a date with you!"

Peter was dismayed. "Too many rules! First Hook, now Wendy's parents? Flynn there are too many rules!"

"Welcome to paradise in Hell, kid."

Peter's frustration grew. "How will I impress Wendy's parents? They're not like Wendy – it's not enough that I am Peter Pan! Flynn, _I don't think they like me_!"

" _No_!"

"Yes! It's true!"

" 'magine that."

"What do I do?" Peter asked. "Should I not go? Wait for Wendy at the _Magic Kingdom_ gates?"

"Negative." Flynn said. "All you need is strategy. You _schmooze_ them. _Suck up_ big time! Get Mrs. Darling flowers and Mr. Darling cigars! Might as well get a present for Hook too – just to be all hoity-toity. Can't hurt."

"Well…" Peter grumbled. "…if they'll give me Wendy."

"Oh they will! Buck up, Champ! We all gotta do it! It's in the _Bro Code_!"

"Really?"

"Yup!" said Flynn. " _Rule Number 13: A bro's faint heart never won fair lady_. Don't worry Panster! It'll all work out! Just wiggle those pointed ears and Wendy's parents will be puddles in your hands!"

Peter did not look convinced. So Flynn tried again.

"Aw come on, Panster! Snap out of it! Who knows – while we're playing lazer tag you might even lose Captain Hook!"

Peter glanced at Edna Mode. She was whacking Jim with her sketch pad.

"Oh…" Peter said. "I'm going to lose Hook _long_ before that. Hey! Mz. Mode!"

"Stupid! Stubborn! Zero fashion sense!" Edna threw her pen. "I command you! Put on the glasses!"

"They suck!" Jim said. "There's no way!"

"Oh! You have a _will_ , Dahling! So there is _always_ a way!"

"You are mental!"

"I'm a genius!"

"You F'd up my vision!"

"You ' _F'd up'_ your wardrobe!"

"This rots!"

"This rules!"

"For the last time – " Jim brandished the glasses. "—these glasses suck!"

"WRONG!" Edna proclaimed. "THESE. GLASSES. ARE – "

"—don't say it!"

" – ABSOLUTELY – "

"—don't even!"

"—ETERNALLY – "

"—oh my freaking lord!"

" _FABULOUS_!" Edna threw her pad into the air. She twirled under her fabulous sketches as they rained down. "AS ARE ALL OF MY CREATIONS! ALL OF THEM I TELL YOU! ALL OF THEM I SAY! NOW – "

Edna spun to the leftover _Disney_ gentlemen.

"—WHO'S NEXT?"

Flynn pointed at Peter. "Him."

"You, Dahling!" Edna seized Peter's towel. Luckily, Peter grabbed the knot in the nick of time.

"Sit!" Edna motioned to the locker-room bench. Slightly panting, she brushed her sketchpad clean. "And – let the designing begin!"

Peter waited. His foot tapped. He was a little excited.

The designing process was Mickey Mouse's idea. Since each _Disney_ character would be recognized in their _Disney World_ costume, they needed 'real world' clothes. The 'real world' clothes would make them less iconic and therefore less identifiable to adoring fans.

But there was a problem: Mickey was a mouse. This meant that he didn't have a credit card to buy new clothes for the _Disney_ characters, and wouldn't know the first thing about human fashion if he did.

So, Mickey hired three people to tackle the task: Cinderella's Fairy Godmother, Aladdin's Genie, and Edna Mode. It was the smartest decision Mickey ever made.

The designing process had two steps: One, Edna Mode designed the 'real world' outfit. Two, the outfit was magically _poofed_ onto the _Disney_ character. Cinderella's Fairy Godmother poofed for the _Disney_ ladies. Aladdin's Genie poofed for the _Disney_ men. Edna designed for everyone because she was fabulous.

"All right! Date night!" Edna clicked her pen. "Who is your date?"

"Wendy." Peter said proudly.

"Where are you going?" Edna said, drawing a few lines.

"Lazer tag." Peter pressed his lips. "And…somewhere else."

Edna peered over her pad. "Somewhere else, you say? _Where_ somewhere else?"

Peter drummed his fingers. Then, leaning past Genie, he whispered in Edna's ear.

Edna's glasses twinkled.

"I see." Gracefully, Edna added lines. Then ripping the paper, she handed the drawing to Genie. "Done. Magic him, Genie Dahling."

"Yeeeowza!" Genie moved the sketch like a trombone. "Holy tomato, Kid! Where are _you_ going? Talk about a date with a capital D!"

"Enough prittle-prattle!" Edna tapped the sketch. "I have more work to do! Magic him, Dahling! Magic him, good!"

"Yeah!" Peter rose. Helpfully, he stretched out his arms. "Do it up! Oh, and Mz. Mode. I gotta ask you for one more thing. Well two. It's something I need. For Wendy."

Curiously Edna fingered her pen. "Perhaps. What it is, Dahling?"

Peter knelt. As Genie's blue magic sprinkled over his skin, he whispered again in Edna Mode's ear.

Edna beamed.

"Fabulous, Dahling." she said. " _Fabulous_. I accept."


	15. Chapter 15: Meeting the Parents

**Chapter 15: Meeting the Parents**

Peter was fashionably late. So he rang the doorbell - twenty six times.

The knob jingled. The door opened. Peter was greeted by a St. Bernard. An angry, resentful St. Bernard.

Peter tipped his fedora.

"Nana."

Nana growled.

Nana _remembered_ Peter Pan, or as she called him ' _The Unwelcomed Intruder That Is Not A Squirrel_.' And if he planed to waltz into _her_ home and steal _her_ children again - well, well! Then Peter Pan had another thing coming!

Defensively, Nana sat on the threshold. She eyed Peter's shadow. _Just try it weird flying thing that's not a squirrel. Just try._

Peter curled his toes. _Shadow was still there. Good._

"Should I let myself in?" Peter lifted a foot, "Or are we still on bad terms?"

"Hey! Pan! Peter Pan!"

Peter looked over Nana. Flynn was beckoning from the hallway.

"Hurry up!" he hissed. "You're late!"

"Fashionably." Peter corrected, shifting the packages in his arms. "I had to get these. Remember? For Wendy's parents. Are they here?"

"Yeah they're here!" Flynn dragged Peter by Nana. Peter hopped, flying over the dog's bonnet just for old time's sake.

"Jimbo and I have been dying in there!" Flynn said. "Haven't you read the Bro Code?! _A bro never leaves his bros to engage in small talk with somebody else's girlfriend's parents_!"

"What'sa girlfriend?"

"Never mind!"

Peter rotated, enthralled with The Darling's home. He'd frequented Wendy's nursery, but never the house itself. He felt like a criminal set loose in an unlocked bank.

"Where's Wendy?"

"Upstairs with Merida and Rapunzel doing lip gloss or hair glitter or something. But -"

Peter veered for the stairs. "Thanks."

"Oh no! You're meeting the parents! Mr. and Mrs. D wanted to see you! So get in there -" Flynn pushed Peter into the Darling's parlor. "And pray they don't bite!"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"They're here!"

Rapunzel bounced on Wendy's bed. Her pink dress fluttered over lavender tights. "They're here! They're here! They're here! Peter just rang the bell! Oh my gosh! What if they don't like us? What if we look too much like real people? But that's okay right, because they look like real people too! Maybe I should call Ariel again and ask for a fishtail braid! I mean it worked the first time - "

"Quit yer worrying!" Merida flumped next to Rapunzel. "It's justa date! Lazer tag, food, midnight, then we forget!"

The two girls could not have looked more different. Rapunzel was a pastel dream complete with lacey accessories and golden ballerina slippers. Merida's outfit was a wild combination of high-heeled boots, black stockings, a red plaid dress, and a blue plaid shirt tied around her waist. And like Jim, Merida also sported hipster glasses - Edna had chosen two lucky victims.

"I guess! But it's more than just a date! It's my dream!" Rapunzel skipped to the door. "This is so exciting, I can't believe Mother Gothel is letting me go! I wonder what Flynn is wearing!"

"So long as he's not in his knickers." Merida bunched her hair in a pony tail. She cursed as the hair-tie snapped. "Eh bloody! Loch Ness Monster! Oh well - Wendy! Ye ready?"

"Yes! Come on!" Rapunzel hummed. "Come on Wendy! The boys are downstairs! Are you ready to go?"

Wendy swallowed.

"In a minute." she said to the bathroom door. "I'll be right out. Right out."

"Okay! Hurry up!"

"All right..."

Wendy leaned over the sink. She stared into the bathroom mirror. Butterflies were eating her stomach. She felt flustered. She felt sick.

"It's all right." she told her reflection. "It's all right."

Fingers shaking, she tried to fasten her acorn necklace. Peter's kiss.

 _Kiss_.

Captain Hook's taunts mixed with her memories of _Peter Pan's Flight_. Her suspicions boiled and her embarrassment grew. Wendy tried to breathe. She was sweating. Her cheeks were flushed.

 _Clink_. Wendy's fingers slipped. The acorn necklace fell into the sink.

"Oh!" Wendy covered her eyes. Three times she breathed very deep. Then, taking a final breath, she fished the necklace free.

"It's all right." She turned to the bathroom door. Rapunzel and Merida could help her fasten the clasp. "Peter Pan is my best friend. Everything is going to be all right."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Your house sure looks different from the inside."

Mr. Darling raised a brow. He decided: He did not like Peter Pan.

Peter raised a brow. He decided: Wendy's father was the most grown up adult in the world.

It was an awkward affair. The three boys (Jim, Peter, and Flynn) sat across the three adults (Mrs. Darling, Mr. Darling, and Captain Hook). The teakettle was screaming. The canapé was uncomfortable. And the conversation was limited to Mr. Darling's occasional grunts and Peter's failed attempts to make jokes.

Mrs. Darling nervously fanned her kerchief. "Well...I'll fetch the tea then, shall I?"

She left the gentlemen. The silence intensified. Peter preoccupied himself exchanging death glares with Captain Hook.

Flynn nudged Peter. He spoke from the corner of his mouth.

"Is the dog freaking anyone else out?"

Peter looked. Nana was in bulldog mode. She scrutinized the proceedings faithfully by Mr. Darling's knee. Currently she was giving them the evil eye.

"That's Nana." said Peter. "Nursemaid."

"Uh huh." Flynn said. "Does the nursemaid like Scooby snacks?"

Peter wriggled his toes. "Only shadows I think."

"Jesus." muttered Jim. He still hated his hipster glasses and they were giving him a headache. "Two steps from Hell."

"Tea!" announced Mrs. Darling, sweeping in with her best china. "All around. Boys don't be shy. Chamomile, English, peppermint, or earl grey?"

"And..." Jim said, accepting a flowered teacup. "...it's complete."

Peter elbowed Jim. Happily he took Mrs. Darling's tray. "Need help?"

"Oh." Mrs. Darling touched her broach, a little flustered. "Oh why, thank you Little Man."

Peter smiled, comforted that Mrs. Darling acted similarly to Wendy.

"No problem. Looks good. Did you want some?"

"Oh. Well I - "

"Wendy likes peppermint." Peter flapped open a bag. A little clumsily he steeped the tea and offered it to Mrs. Darling "This okay?"

Nana padded over. She sniffed the tea. Then, snorting, she allowed Mrs. Darling to accept.

"Why. Thank you. Thank you my little man." She took a sip. "How wonderfully polite."

Peter grinned. Flynn rocked his fist. Mr. Darling grumbled. Captain Hook rolled his eyes.

"Sure thing, Ma'am. Oh! That reminds me. I forgot." Peter crouched. Moving Jim's legs, he retrieved three items from under canapé.

"These..." Peter handed Mrs. Darling a slightly squished bouquet. "Are for you."

"Oh!" Mrs. Darling said. "Oh how lovely! I must put them in a vase! Oh George dear, look!"

"I see..." mumbled Mr. Darling, turning over the cigar Peter had given him. He pressed it under his nose. "Montecristo? By jove, Boy. How'd you get your hands on a Montecristo cigar - "

"George dear." Mrs. Darling said. "George. The young man gave you a gift. Why, he even brought a gift for dear Captain Hook."

Peter smiled. He _had_ brought a gift for 'dear' Captain Hook: _Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Extra crunchy._ _Good with crackers_.

"Well. I uh. Thank you Boy. That was right jolly of you." said Mr. Darling. "Right jolly indeed."

Peter tried not to act victorious. But he was pleased Flynn's scheme had worked.

"Aw. It was nothing. Keep it, a gift from me! 'Specially since I'm getting Wendy and everything."

Jim cringed. "Moron." he muttered into his tea.

"Interesting phraseology." Captain Hook said. As chaperone, Captain Hook had also been magically outfitted. He wore a heavy trench coat over a blood-red pinstripe suit.

Stealthily, Captain Hook paced behind The Darlings.

"However, as your chaperone I must inquire as to your amorous intentions."

Peter half grinned. "What? Are you allowed to do that in public?"

"Man's right!" said Mr. Darling, regaining his gruffness. He set the cigar aside. "Tell me, Boy. What's your prospects for courting my daughter?"

Peter frowned. "Huh?"

"My daughter." Mr. Darling tapped his armrest. "You've a notion to call upon her? Respectfully I trust? Well intent and all that gracious stuff?"

Peter blinked. Mr. Darling was speaking in a language he did not understand. Confused, Peter glanced to Flynn. But Flynn was no help: he was having a staring contest with Nana.

"I...like Wendy." Peter carefully said. "If that's what you mean."

"Fond of her, are you?"

Peter relaxed. _Good. A word he understood._ "Oh yes. Very. One girl's worth more than twenty boys."

"By jove!" said Mr. Darling. "What does that mean?"

"George dear." Mrs. Darling soothed. "It sounds to me an expression."

"Well yes, Mary my dear! But what does it mean? One girl? Twenty boys? Hardly seems proper!"

"Yes Peter." Captain Hook leered. "Do explain."

Peter was confused. It seemed a very obvious comparison to him. Perhaps The Darlings were not as clever as Wendy.

"Well." he explained. "When Wendy was living in Neverland with me - "

Flynn's head popped up. Desperately he shook his head, trying to warn Peter.

But Peter continued. "-she was mother to the Lost Boys. You would think that all those boys would trample one little mother. But not Wendy. You see...Wendy is one girl. And...she's worth more than twenty boys."

Peter trailed off. He looked at The Darlings, hoping they understood. "Better?"

The Darlings were shocked. Mrs. Darling's hand dropped from her mouth. Mr. Darling was ready to eat Peter alive. Captain Hook looked like he'd stumbled on a pot of gold.

Jim cleared his throat. "Okay, everyone chill. What he means, is that girls are smarter than guys."

Mr. Darling turned. "And who, pray tell are _you_?"

Jim raised two fingers. "Jim. Would be pirate. I'm just here for the ride. And the tea -tea's great."

"Is that sarcasm young man?"

"Do you want it to be?"

"Of all the -! " Mr. Darling jumped. "Of all the cheek! This is preposterous! These vagabonds! Mary I won't stand for it! Captain Hook was spot on the money! Well I won't stand for it, by jove! I won't - "

"Peter! Peter Pan!"

Two sets of footsteps rumbled down the stairs. Seconds later, John and Michael Darling whooped around the corner.

Peter ran to Wendy's brothers. "Hiya men!"

"It's Peter!" Michael hopped into Peter's arms. "It's Peter Pan!"

"Heigh ho, Captain!" said John. "Heigh ho! Good word then lately? Been fighting pirates no doubt?"

"Bit." Peter swooped Michael at Captain Hook. He smiled as the pirate ducked. "Some more than others."

"Boys!" Mr. Darling scolded. "Boys! It's bedtime! Off with you! Off to bed!"

"Oh but we can't!" Michael scooted from Peter. Excitedly he held Teddy Bear over his head. "We've got a job to do!"

"A job?" Mrs. Darling inquired. Her eyes flickered to the stairwell. "Why goodness it sounds important. Michael? John? What is this job?"

"An announcement." John straightened his top hat. He took jobs very seriously. "We have an announcement to make! Eh hem! Ready Michael?"

Michael waved Teddy's hand. "Ready!"

"Jolly good then! Ehem! Presenting!" John flapped his umbrella. "For the first date ever in the history of Napoleon and Her Majesty the Queen! Ladies and Gentlemen I give you..."

Michael cheered "Ta da! The girls!"

Flynn clapped. Even Jim joined. Then, like a firecracker, Rapunzel darted from behind John's umbrella. Merida followed. And then...

Peter stopped. For a moment, he left the Darling's home. He left _Disney World_. He left it all behind. For a moment, he hovered somewhere over the second star.

"... _Wendy_?"

...Hello Peter."


	16. Ch16:Converse Sneakers Are Most Improper

**Chapter 16: Converse Sneakers Are Most Improper**

"Pan." Jim nudged "Close your mouth."

Peter blinked. He blinked again. He shook his head, clearing the stars from his eyes.

Wendy looked…different. Edna Mode had magically donned her in a midnight blue sundress, of course with a bow. It was simple enough: knee length, shoulder straps, solid color, and snug waistline. If Peter saw the dress on a hanger, he wouldn't have looked twice. But on Wendy…

Peter looked down. He was levitating. Peter couldn't describe it, but looking at dressed-up Wendy was analogous to inhaling her magic lips. It blew balloons in his chest, making him excited and nervous at the same time.

Peter returned to Wendy. He was surprised. She looked scared.

And Wendy was scared. Terrified. She was terrified of the night's proceedings. She was terrified that Peter had not yet commented on her appearance, favorably or not. And she was terrified that Peter looked so…so…so… _grownup_.

Yes (the horrors) _grownup!_ Because Peter Pan – that rascal Peter Pan – was in a suit. True, he wore bright green converse sneakers, and had a red-feathered fedora instead of a tie, but Peter Pan was wearing a suit. And it was extremely becoming.

Suddenly, Wendy was quite shy. It was as if she were meeting Peter Pan for the first time. Recoiling, Wendy looked worriedly to her mother. Mrs. Darling smiled. Encouragingly, she made a little dip indicating that Wendy should not forgo etiquette.

Wendy squeezed her skirt. It was shorter than she was accustomed. Still, she attempted to curtsy.

"..Hello. Peter."

Peter opened his mouth. Something unintelligible spilled out.

Wendy blinked, awash with nervousness. "What?"

"Repeat!" Flynn hissed at Peter. "This time try English instead of Caveman."

Peter gulped. Then he remembered. Abruptly Peter stooped for the last cardboard box stashed under the canapé.

"Here!" Peter shoved the box at Wendy. "Here! For you!"

"Oh." Wendy stumbled. "Oh Peter you shouldn't have – "

"Open it." He drew her to a chair. Dumbly, he pointed at the box. "Open it. Open it."

"He's sinking." said Flynn, holding Rapunzel's waist. "And he's sinking fast."

"Shh!' Rapunzel whispered. "Shh! Look at them! This is so cute! Merida! Jim! Are you watching this? Aren't they so cute?"

Merida and Jim were not watching. They were busy exchanging mixed CDs, comparing hipster glasses, and hating on Edna Mode.

Wendy unknotted the ribbon. Captain Hook and her father investigated from behind.

"What's this now?" Mr. Darling inspected over Wendy's shoulder. "Better not be a confounded whatcha-ma-goo! Had best be right and proper! I won't stand for water pistols or dead animals – "

"George, dear."

"Well I won't Mary! You know what type of household I run! So what is it Boy?" Mr. Darling leaned. "Flowers? Chocolates? Corsage?"

Wendy opened the box. She smiled at Peter. "Shoes."

"Shoes?" said Mr. Darling.

"Shoes?" said Captain Hook.

"Shoes?" said Flynn, just to be topical.

Peter nodded. "Sneakers." he corrected, pulling out a pair of converses. Edna Mode had designed them especially for Wendy – blue, purple, and pink with galaxy print.

"They're just like mine, see?" Peter extended his foot. "Except, mine are green. They're sneaker shoes. And…they're for you."

Peter set the shoes on Wendy's lap. "Do…you like them?"

"Those are boy's shoes!" Mr. Darling rounded Wendy's chair. " _Converse sneakers_? Most improper! Mary, dear! Don't you agree?"

"Well they are loud, aren't they?" Mrs. Darling tried to be kind. "Lovely, but loud. Wendy my darling. Wouldn't you rather wear your slippers –?"

"No." Wendy unlaced a sneaker. "No, I love them! I've never owned a pair of sneakers before! And just look at the fabric – painted with all those stars. Just like the night sky! Oh they're lovely. What did you call them, again?"

Peter smiled. He helped Wendy don the sneaker. "Converse."

"Converse. Converse. Oh Peter thank you! I – "

Wendy stood. She rocked, alternating from heel to toe. Then, with a little hop, she twirled and curtsied. "They're wonderful! How do I look?"

Peter grinned. "Cute."

Mr. Darling grunted.

"I mean." Peter glanced at Flynn. " _Very professional_."

Flynn gave a thumbs up.

"Well." Jim and Merida edged for the exit. "Not that his hasn't been fun, but uh…Mickey Mouse wants us all at the _Magic Kingdom_ gates. So he can get rid of our magic. So maybe we all better – "

"—go." finished Merida. "Go and get this adventure started!"

"Right." Mr. Darling squared. "Now. Listen to me, you two – "

"Wendy –" Mrs. Darling flocked over like mother bird. "Take this cardigan my darling! Don't talk to strangers and remember not to drink water from public fountains! Oh you both look darling! Simply darling! And Peter, I do hope we'll see you again?"

"—Mary!"

"Perhaps for dinner?" Mrs. Darling patted Peter's hand. "Or ice cream after a show? You and Wendy have a performance soon. And since Captain Hook is also in the performance, you and Wendy will be able to go out for ice cream during park hours! So long as Captain Hook accompanies! I believe those are the terms of the contract – "

"Mary!" huffed Mr. Darling. "If you don't mind! Eh hem! Now Wendy – "

"Yes Father?"

Mr. Darling paused. He suddenly realized – his little girl was going on her first date.

"Well. Be a good girl, then." A little less rigidly, Mr. Darling rubbed Wendy's hair. "Captain Hook is here if you need him. And I shall be waiting, here when you return."

"Thank you Father." Wendy said. "I'm sure we'll have a lovely time."

"Indeed. And now…"

Mr. Darling pointed at Peter. " _You_ , Boy. No _funny business_."

"Don't worry, Sir." Peter took Wendy's hand. "She's safe with me!"

"Oh, certainly." Captain Hook swept between them. "That is why they hired _me_. So - Good tidings, Lord and Lady Darling. Farethewell, I bid you good night. And now…my little children…"

Captain Hook ushered them along.

"…shall we?"

The metal hook pricked Peter's back. Peter shifted. Then leaning forward, he winked at Wendy.

"Oh yes, Chaperone Codfish. _We shall_."


	17. Ch17:Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupes!

**Chapter 17: Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupes!**

Mickey Mouse crossed his fingers.

"Oh boy. I sure hopes this works..."

The excitement was suffocating. For the first time – literally in forever – Mickey Mouse was opening the _Magic Kingdom_ gates. For the first time, _Disney World_ was spilling into the real world: not the other way around.

It was a big deal. And it was dangerous.

You see dear readers, you and I are personages of the real world. We pass unrestricted into _Disney World_ and _Disney Land_ , easily as if we were lapsing into our own imaginations. Our journey into fantasy is safe because our world is huge. It is very hard to get lost in _Disney_. We can always find our way back home.

But, this is not the case for _Disney_ characters. _Disney World_ is embedded in the real world. It was literally plucked from Mr. Walt Disney's imagination and plopped onto planet Earth.

Now, _Disney World_ is fantasy. The real world is reality. In order to preserve the _purity_ of _Disney World_ , the characters are forever trapped inside the magical gates. There is a magical barrier, separating _Disney World_ from the rest of the planet. And the _Disney World_ characters cannot leave. Ever.

This may seem unfair. It may even seem a little tyrannical.

But, consider this: Close your eyes. Picture a glass of clear water. Now, take a drop of food coloring (any color will do). Drip in one drop of food coloring. What happens?

Correct. The dye _diffuses_ through the water. The color becomes less concentrated, less pure. It mixes with the water...and fades.

Obviously, this is an analogy. The glass of clear water represents the 'real world,' planet Earth. The drop of food coloring represents _Disney World_ , the land of fantasy. And the reason _Disney_ characters are forbidden from the real world is because (as I have noted) the real world is huge. Should the _Disney_ characters mix into the real world, the _Disney_ fantasy would become less concentrated, less pure. It would, like the dye, fade.

But, the gosh darn _Disney_ characters wanted dates! And since _dates_ were figments of the real world, Mickey Mouse had no choice. He had to open the _Magic Kingdom_ gates. He had to release the _Disney_ characters to the world.

But that _did not_ mean he had to do it stupidly.

"All righty, folks!" Mickey clapped his hands. "Everybody listen!"

"Flynn!" Rapunzel wriggled. She was riding piggy back. "Flynn! Turn! Turn! Turn!"

"Okay Barbie girl!" Flynn hiked Rapunzel higher. "Woot! Woot! Sing it up for the mouse everybody! _M! To the I! To the C! To the KEY_!"

"KEY to the _Magic Kingdom_ gates!" cheered Naveen. He was taking Tiana to _The Aji House_ , a Japanese restaurant where customers barbecued their own meals. "Shidanza! The real world, she will love us! Open the gatey gates!"

"Now hold on!" Mickey said. "Hold your horses! This is a very important night. We all must remember! What's the number one most important thing?"

"Fun!"

"No." said Mickey. "Safety."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Safety is number one tonight." Mickey paced along the _Magic Kingdom_ gates. The magical barrier vibrated behind his tail. "You're entering the real world. You're going on real dates. So, there are a couple of ground rules."

Mickey counted on his hands.

"One: No getting arrested."

"Darn." said Flynn.

"Two: No leaving Florida."

"What's Florida?" asked Merida.

Everyone shrugged. "Who knows? Just don't leave it!"

"Three," Mickey continued. "If someone says ' _You look like THIS Disney character_ ,' then YOUR response will be..."

Mickey checked his notes. "' _Thanks I totally get that all the time_.' Okay? Everyone repeat that, on the count of three. Ready? One...two...three..."

" _Thanks I totally get that all the time_." they chorused.

"Good." said Mickey, resuming with his rules. "The fourth rule is that villains, unless otherwise specified, are not allowed to go on the dates. Sorry folks, it just too risky."

The villains sneered. They did not accept Mickey's apology.

Mickey was unperturbed.

"Five: We don't want any bad publicity. So, we gotta take away your magic. Temporarily of course. Don't want to see headlines like ' _Crazy Flying Disney Lookalike Scales NASA's Spacecraft'_ in tomorrow's tabloids!"

Innocently Peter hung upside-down in the air. "Why is everybody looking at me!?"

"And six..." Mickey's tone dropped. He gazed sternly at the assembly. "Everyone – and I mean everyone – needs to be back by midnight. On the stroke of twelve the _Magic Kingdom_ gates will close. Your magic will return. And, thanks to Maleficent, you will _forget_ that you were ever on a date."

The mood depressed.

"If you are late." Mickey said, capitalizing on the silence. "You will turn into a pumpkin. A pumpkin that says _Please Return to Disney World, Orlando Florida_ in permanent marker. Everybody understand?"

"Guess so..." everyone murmured.

"Harsh." Flynn said as Rapunzel slid from his back.

"Good." Mickey brightened. "Speaking of pumpkins! Donald, Minnie, Goofy! Bring out the taxi cabs!"

"Taxi cabs?"

Upon Mickey's direction, Donald, Minnie, and Goofy brought out thirteen pumpkins. Then with a wave of Fairy Godmother's magic wand, the pumpkins were _poofed_ into orange taxi cabs, and Cinderella's mice friends were _poofed_ into taxi cab drivers.

"These are taxi cabs!" Mickey announced over the purring engines. "They will take you anywhere you want to go!"

The mood improved. The _Disney_ characters raced for the taxis.

"Awesome!" yelled Flynn. "Shot gun!"

"Wait! Stop!" Mickey said. "Not so fast! Remember – we still have to open the _Magic Kingdom_ gates! And...take away your magic."

"How?" shouted Hercules. Hercules had lost his powers once before, and the results had been catastrophic. Both he and Megara looked concerned. "How will you take away our magic? And...will it hurt?"

Mickey grasped his hands.

"It won't hurt. But, you will feel it. There is magic in everyone. However, some of you depend on magic more than others...so at first...it might sting."

Mickey scanned the crowed for the more magically oriented characters. He paused on Hercules, Elsa, Mr. and Mrs. Incredible, Rapunzel, and Peter Pan.

Wendy noticed. Anxiously, she edged around Captain Hook.

"Peter." she whispered. "Peter. You won't be able to fly."

Peter started. The idea had never occurred to him.

"Huh." he mused. "That'll be weird, won't it?"

Wendy glanced at Captain Hook. The pirate was stroking his mustache and sinisterly regarding Peter.

"Perhaps we shouldn't." Wendy said. "Perhaps we shouldn't go on the date."

"Not go?" Peter turned. Crookedly he smiled. "Why? You afraid?"

Wendy straightened. "No." she lied. Her heart was thumping beneath her acorn kiss. "No. I just – "

"Stop worrying!" Peter took her hand. Vigorously he swung it. "Come on Wendy. This'll be fun!"

Wendy bit her lip. She turned as Peter's eyes zoomed to her mouth. "I suppose."

"Removing magic is tricky..." Mickey climbed atop a taxi. "...I wasn't sure if it could be done. But, I think – _I think_ – it can. You see...to create magic, ya say magic words. You know..."

Mickey pretended to twirl a wand. "Magic words! Like Fairy Godmother's _salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo_! Or Merlin's _higitus, figitus, migitus, mum_! Or Mary Poppins' _supercalifragilisticexpialidocious_! Or even Genie's _abracadabra_! They say the magical words and _POOF_! Magic is made!"

"So..." Mickey gestured. A gathering of magical witches and wizards drew to his side. "So, if we want to _take magic away_ , all we have to do... _is say the magic words backwards_."

"Make the clock reverse..." Rapunzel whispered. "...change the Fate's design. Oh Flynn...do you think it will work?"

Flynn was quiet. Then, as Mickey Mouse raised his hands, Flynn hugged Rapunzel and her magical hair.

"We'll see."

"All righty." Mickey cued the witches and wizards to recite their backwards incantations. "Ready. Set. Go."

Cinderella's Fairy Godmother was first: " _Boo-bobbidi-bibbidi boola mechicka salagadoola! Boo-bobbidi-bibbidi! Boo-bobbidi-bibbidi boola mechicka salagadoola! Boo-bobbidi-bibbidi! Boola mechicka means aloodagalas! Boo-bobbidi-bibbidi! Boo-bobbidi-bibbidi boola mechicka salagadoola! Boo-bobbidi-bibbidi bobbidi-bibbidi bobbidi-bibbidi_!"

Grandmother Willow was second: " _Ra-to-na-que-que_."

Genie was third: " _Arbadacarba_!"

Mama Odie was forth: " _Got you what_! _Pot the in gumbo, gumbo_!"

Merlin was fifth: " _Prestidigitorium! Mum migitus figitus higitus! Prestidigitorium! Mum migitus figitus higitus! Dum, dood'ly, dood'ly, dum! Wack wockety pockety hockety! Meripides, mez, malaca! Zez, balica, fez, alica! Prestidigitorium! Mum migitus figitus higitus! Nack dabra abracabra! Wack wockety pockety hockety! Zing, ka, zumba, figitus, higitus_!"

Marry Poppins was sixth: " _Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupes_!"

And Mickey Mouse was last. Closing his eyes, he said the most unmagical word of all.

" _Yensid_."

 _Disney World_ waited. The _Magic Kingdom_ gates hummed.

Then Peter gasped. He grabbed Wendy.

And the magic unraveled.


	18. Chapter 18: A Real Boy

**Chapter 18: A Real Boy**

"Peter. Peter wake up."

Peter rolled his head. Wendy's fingers were in his hair. It felt good. But everything else…

"….wowwww."

"Peter?"

Wendy's hand crossed his brow. Peter inhaled. _Wendy smelled lovely. He hadn't noticed before._

"Peter?" Wendy shook his hand. "Peter? Are you awake?"

"I think so."

"Can you open your eyes?"

Peter tried. His lashes were stuck. Heavy.

"Um. Lemmie try…"

Peter lifted his arms. They were heavy. Everything was so heavy. Thickly he pried open his lids.

He was on the ground, laying quite unceremoniously on his back. Wendy was above him, fingers in his hair. Blurry figures hovered above her, one of which looked suspiciously like Captain Hook.

Peter squinted, trying to focus. Vision returning, he traced a line from Wendy's acorn necklace all the way to her lips.

Then, Peter understood.

"You lied."

Wendy peered. The faces over her became perplexed.

"Peter? I what?"

"You lied." Peter reached for her acorn necklace and tugged. "You lied to me, pretty girl. And now…"

Peter jabbed at her cheek. His arm was heavy and flopped behind his ear. But he smiled all the same. "And now you're turning pink."

"What the Hell is he saying?" Jim knelt by Wendy. He did not notice, but her blush nearly reflected off his skin.

"Yo, Pan." Jim tapped Peter's temple. "Open your eyes. Pan. Pan! Hm. Wendy look away."

"Why?"

 _SLAP._

"Jim!"

"Ow!" Peter's eyes popped. "That hurt."

"What's wrong?" Wendy and Jim eased Peter upright. "What's wrong with him?"

"His magic is gone." Captain Hook said. They all turned. Captain Hook was ashen, and tiny white wisps curled from his hair. "Peter Pan is flightless…and no longer ageless."

"No longer ageless?" Wendy held Peter like a mother bear. She had expected Peter would lose his flight, but _never_ his youth. "He, he can't. _He's Peter Pan._ We have to change him back – where is Mickey Mouse?"

"Sweet mamma and sunnyside-up. _Look_." Flynn was cradling Rapunzel. Her hair was still long, but brunette. Shifting, Flynn pointed at Peter. "Look at his ears."

Wendy smoothed aside Peter's hair. Jim did likewise on Peter's opposite.

"Holy crap." Jim said. "They're…"

"…round." Wendy traced Peter's ear. The auricle was no longer pointed like an elf's. It was smooth and circular.

"Well." said Captain Hook. "It appears that Master Pan, in the words of that dratted Pinocchio puppet…is a real boy."

Peter blinked. He pulled his ears. Then he exclaimed. "Cool!"

"Cool? Oh wait! Peter wait!"

"Look at me!" Peter scrambled to his feet, using Wendy as a ladder. He nearly toppled back down. "Look at me! I _can't_ fly!

"Peter!" Wendy caught Peter as he stumbled like a newborn chic. Despite her concern, she laughed. "Peter! Peter hold still!"

"This is _weird_!" Peter seized Wendy's shoulders. Laughing, he bounced up and down. "This is so, so, SO weird! Look! Watch! I go UP and dowwwwn, and UP and dowwwn, and UP – "

"Hey! Bungee Boy!" Flynn bunched Rapunzel onto piggy back. She was still a little drained from losing her magic. "Come on! Look the gates! They're open! The real world is on the other side! So let's move! The night is young – "

Squeezing Rapunzel's thighs, Flynn sprinted for the taxis. "—and so are we! Date night! Here we come baby!

"Mush!" Rapunzel said, brown hair streaming behind. "Mush! Mush! Mush!"

"C'mon!" Merida dragged Jim. "C'mon ye doobers! Let's go!"

"To infinity." Jim trotted after. "And beyond."

They piled into taxi. The cushions were small, but Jim took the floor and Rapunzel fit easily on Flynn's lap.

"Wendy Baby! Panster!" Flynn waved. "Get in! Hurry up! Or – are you not taking the fun cab?"

"No." Captain Hook shut the door. "They will be taking the _un-fun_ cab with me."

They all looked sympathetic. Flynn made a face. "Ohhhhhhh-kay. Well…um. Have fun?"

"Sorry." Rapunzel added, shrugging at Wendy. "Maybe we'll see you later?"

"Oh don't worry." Peter said. Again he winked at Wendy. "We'll _catch_ up."

"I hardly think so." Captain Hook signaled the next cab. Testily he opened the door. "All these lovesick idiots running around? Children having the times of their lives. It's enough to make me sick."

Peter led Wendy to the door. He kept an eye on Flynn, Rapunzel, Merida, and Jim's taxi cab. "Well Codfish, you don't have to go."

"Quite the contrary." said Captain Hook. "You see I've planned our evening, and it consists of trip to the Orlando Museum of Regional History and quick stop at a local gas station for supper. It will be fast, it will be painless, and it will be very, very boring."

Peter and Wendy grimaced. _Boring was a gross understatement_.

So." Captain Hook flourished to Wendy. "In you go my dear. Ladies first."

Peter skipped to the door. He offered Wendy his hand. "Miss? Need a boost?"

Wendy accepted. "Why thank you, kind Sir."

"By the devil. This is sickening…" Captain Hook looked pained. "...shoot me dead or have me regurgitate my spleen."

Peter grinned. "That's the idea, Codfish. Wendy?"

Wendy paused, one foot inside the cab. "Yes?"

Peter lowered his voice. "The sneakers look cute. But…you wanna know what they're really good for?"

Wendy tilted her head. "What?"

Peter gestured and followed Wendy inside. Then, grabbing Captain Hook's trench coat and slamming the door, Peter shoved Wendy out the opposite side. "RUNNING! SNEAKERS ARE FOR RUNNING! SO RUN!"

"What the – blasted!" Captain Hook made to chase. He lurched backwards as his coat caught in the door. "Get back here! Get back here you blasted Peter Pan!"

"Oh!" Wendy hit the driver's review mirror as she passed. "Go! Go, go, go!"

The cabbie saluted. Merrily, the taxi drove away with Captain Hook puttering behind.

"Yes!" Peter swung Wendy in circles. He forgot about gravity and almost fell. "Yes! We did it! We outsmarted that ol' Captain Hook!"

"I did a bad thing!" Wendy said, converse sneakers whirling in the air. "I told the taxi to drive!"

"I know!" Peter took Wendy's hand. Together they ran across the street. "That codfish will be roadkill in no time! Way to go Wendy!"

"Oh!" Wendy's acorn necklace danced across her chest. She tried to stay apologetic but the excitement was electric. Peter was holding her hand, and the possibilities were endless. The _Disney_ characters might have lost their magic, but there was magic in the air!

"Hey! Love birds!"

A taxi cab flashed its lights. Flynn hung out the window.

"Come on! Night's a canvas and we're gonna paint the freakin town red! Last one in is a rotten egg!"

Wendy and Peter exchanged looks. Then, giggling, they raced for the cab.

Ariel lingered on the sidewalk. As Peter and Wendy stuffed themselves into the overcrowded taxi, she glimpsed Jim Hawkins. Jim saw her, then vanished as the taxi revved its engines for the real world.

"All right. So, I have our date night plans."

Ariel turned. Eric approached, nose in an agenda.

"We start with dinner, movie," Eric checked items from his list. "Maybe a little kissing, and if everything goes according to plan we should be home by ten thirty. Oh…"

Eric lowered the agenda.

"Ariel. Sweetheart. You're a little under-dressed, aren't you?"

Ariel frowned, although comparatively she couldn't argue. Eric was decked in business casual. Ariel, however, was wearing jeggings, asymmetrical earrings, and a purple crop top.

"This is what Edna Mode gave me." she replied. "I like it. And, Eric, we don't have to be back until midnight."

"I know. But with the curse, and the curfew, and the turning into pumpkins - "

"Eric." Ariel tried to smile. She flagged a taxi. "It's okay. We'll make it back in time. Let's just go."

"Right." Eric tapped his agenda. "Right. First stop dinner. I found an all you can eat sushi buffet – "

"Sushi?" Ariel stopped, hand on the taxi. "Sushi? Eric. I don't eat fish."

Eric laughed. "But you're a mermaid!"

"Yes. It's called cannibalism."

"Well we have reservations."

"Well we can cancel them."

"Cancel them?" Eric shook his head. "Ariel! We can't cancel! It's in the agenda! It's in the plan!"

"Well gosh Eric!" said Ariel. "Could you be a bit more flexible?"

"Ariel. I am a sailor. I love fish."

"ERic. I am a mermaid. I don't. Fish are friends not food."

"Well." Eric crossed his arms. "Maybe you shouldn't go."

Ariel wrenched the cab door. "Well maybe I don't want to go!"

"Fine! Fine! Wait!" Eric grappled the handle. "Where are you going?"

"Out!" Ariel slammed the door. "On a stupid, lonely date!"

Eric was appalled. "Well! Good then! Go! Be alone! I…" Eric flipped through his agenda. "I still have reservations!"

"Need company? Dearie?"

A slinky white arm coiled around his. Eric smiled as a beautiful redhead, one of the mermaids of _Peter Pan_ , cozied to his side.

"Because Dearie…" she twirled her hair. "…I'm available. _Very_ available."

Eric lifted his agenda. "It's sushi. Isn't that…cannibalism for mermaids?"

The redhead sucked a nail. "Not for the naughty ones."

They left together, mermaid and prince. Mickey Mouse waved the last taxicab goodbye, and retired for a candlelit dinner with Minnie. The _Magic Kingdom_ sighed, waiting for its magical members to return.

Everything was peaceful…

…for about three seconds.

Captain Hook clawed down the road. His taxi cab excursion had been most unpleasant. Cursing, he slumped beneath the _Magic Kingdom_ arches.

"Blast you!" he growled. "Blast you Wendy Darling! Blast you Peter Pan!"

"Pa-thetic."

Captain Hook turned.

Tinkerbell smiled at him. Her wings and pixie dust had vanished but her smirk was exactly the same.

"Hello Captain." Tinkerbell crouched. Her lime-green mini skirt pinched most indecorously. "Ready for a little revenge?"

Captain Hook smiled. "Call a cab, Miss Bell."


	19. Chapter 19: Frosties and Fries

**Chapter 19: Frosties and Fries**

"Is it blinking? Is it blinking? The red light _is it blinking_?! It is? Okay! Eh-hem! Ladies and gentlemen I welcome you to Episode One of Flynn Rider Original Home Movies! Today's show comes straight from The Real World, and is ENTITLED – drrrrrum roll please – "

Rapunzel, Merida, Peter, Wendy, and Jim drummed the table.

"—The First Date!" Flynn shook his video camera. "Whooooooooooo! And the crowd goes wild! Ladies and gentlemen I am Flynn Rider, your gorgeous host, and I'll be bringing you through the events of this magical night!"

The girls applauded. They ducked as Flynn aimed the camera at each of them and commentated like a sports caster.

"Let's meet the players of this magical evening! Ah! I see a lovely maid right here. Miss you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! Give the folks a name with that pretty face!"

"Eugene!" Rapunzel brushed her hair. "You're so funny! Hiiiiiiiiiii everyone! My name's Rapunzel!"

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your golden hair! Oh hold up! It's not golden! It's not golden at all! Tell us Rapunzel, what witchery is this? Why is your golden hair a lovely shade of chestnut?"

"Mickey Mouse took away all of our magic!" Rapunzel pretended to pout. "It was sad! And that's why my hair is brown! But! Without magic, the Magic Kingdom gates opened and now we're in the real world!"

"Gasp!" Flynn swung the camera to his face. "The real world? Let's take a look!"

Flynn spun the camera 360 degrees. "Ladies and gentlemen everything that you are seeing is NOT computer image generated! I repeat, NOT CGI! Merida! Where is Merida?"

"Over here!" Merida waved.

"Merida! _Ever-lovin-bushy-haired-I-kicked-Katniss-Everdeen's-butt_ Merida! Honey tell the folks where we are right now?"

Merida spread her arms wide. "The mall!"

"Where specifically?"

"Food court!" Merida raised her Frosty and fries. "Eatin' like kings!"

"Eating like kings, you say! Well, Wendy Baby!" Flynn zipped the camera to the left. He focused on Wendy. "Wendy baby tell the folks what we are eating?"

Wendy pointed. "Frosties and French fries."

"Annnnnnnnnnnnd what's the name of the restaurant where we purchased these delectable Frosties and fries?"

"We – " Wendy giggled as Peter tickled her under the table. "Wendy's! Wendy's, Wendy's!"

"My idea!" Peter bragged, leaning so his face filled the screen. "Wendy's for Wendy! Clever huh?"

"Peachy, just peachy keen!" Flynn refocused the lens. "Speaking of ideas, Peter, can you tell us _who's_ idea it was to play lazer tag _boys against girls_?"

Peter thumped his chest. "Mine!"

"Uh huh. And Jimbo – " Flynn revolved the screen. "—Jimbo can you tell us which team _won_ lazer tag?"

Jim glared over his hipster glasses. "Merida cheats."

"Hey!" Merida threw a fry. "I cheat! But ye boys rot!"

They laughed, occasionally spitting out milkshakes and snorting fries.

"Okay! Okay! Back to Studio One people!" said Flynn. Again he turned the camera onto himself. "Eh hem! We have come to the pivotal moment of the night! The peak performance! The coup d'état! The top gun!"

"Dude if you're going to strip remember – " Jim waved a hand. "—we're in public."

"So be tasteful." Merida added. She and Jim slapped high-five.

"Nooooo." Flynn zoomed the camera at Jim's nose. Slowly he drew it back out. "No, super -smarty alecks! No! This is the part of the night where we part ways, OH YES! This is the part of the night you punks stop cramping my style! THIS is where I announce to my Barbie girl Rapunzel…"

Flynn handed the video camera to Wendy. Indicating that she should continue taping, Flynn settled by Rapunzel.

"….where we are _really_ going for our first date."

Peter drifted into the scene. He mimed a surprised face. "What? No way! Flynn Rider?! Planning ahead? Not winging it?"

"Peter!" Wendy grinned. "You're in the way, silly boy!"

Peter tromped over the table. "Here!" Picking Wendy up, he held her over Rapunzel and Flynn. "Bird's eye view!"

"Shh!" Flynn batted a hand. Then, noticing the camera he flashed a grin. "How do I look?"

"Flynn!" Merida torpedoed him with fries. "Quit smolderin' and start gabbin'! Where ye takin' Rapunzel?"

"Okay! Okay! Eh hem! Rapunzel, could you _first_ tell the folks at home why we are videotaping this magical night?"

Diligently, Rapunzel recited the cause. "Because the villains are mean and have mustered a curse to make us forget our dates at twelve o'clock midnight sharp! So Eugene stole a video camera from that store right there – "

As Rapunzel pointed, Flynn swiped a hand across his throat. "—I would never steal!"

"—and now we are videotaping so we can remember this magical, lovely first date!" Sunnily, Rapunzel plopped her hands in her lap. "See! Just like that!"

"Excellent, excellent! ' _A plus_ ' student very good! But!" Flynn said. "I also wanted the audience to witness Rapunzel's reaction when I tell her where we are _really_ going on our first date! So! Without further ado….Wendy you ready?"

Wendy nodded the camera up and down. "Ready!"

Flynn rubbed his hands. "All right! Here we go! Folks be warned there _will_ be screaming. Rapunzel: _Tonight_ , we are going…."

Flynn whispered in Rapunzel's ear. Rapunzel listened. Her eyes widened. She gasped. And her smile turned into a scream.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO WAYYYYYYYY! NO WAYYYYYY! REALLY?"

"Yup!" said Flynn.

"NO! NO WAY! SQUARE DANCING!?"

"At the Orange County Veterans Club!"

"NO!"

"Yes!"

"WE'RE NOT!"

"We are!"

"I LOVE YOU!" Rapunzel screamed.

"I don't blame you!" Flynn opened his arms. "What type of date is it Baby?"

"BEST!" Rapunzel pounced. She squealed between hot pink kisses. "BEST! DATE! EVER!"

"Ladies and gentlemen." Jim covered the camera with his sleeve. "The following image has been censored and is not suitable for children."

Wendy scolded and Peter laughed. Merida threw french fries. Rapunzel continued to scream. Flynn thoroughly enjoyed himself.

"Come on." Secretively, Peter led Wendy away. "Come on. Let's go. There's something I want to do."

Wendy paused. Inadvertently she touched her acorn necklace.

"What's that?"

Peter turned. He tilted his head, as if the answer were obvious. "Spend time with you."

Wendy smiled. Feeling pretty as a princess, she joined Peter Pan on a magical escalator ride out of the mall and into the remainder of their date.

It took several moments for Rapunzel to calm, and several more moments to convince security that she was not being molested. But following a series of lies (" _She's on medication. She got bit by a rabid dingo bat during Yoga class_.") Rapunzel and Flynn were set free, leaving Merida and Jim to finish everyone's Frosties and fries.

"Okay!" Merida tossed her cup into the garbage. _Swish. Perfect shot._ "Time te explore! Ready te ditch?"

"Sure." Jim threw his napkin. It bounced into the bin.

"Nice shot!" Merida smiled. "Yer not bad."

"Thanks." Jim crumpled another napkin. "Not bad yourself."

He threw. The napkin missed the bin. Emotionless Jim stood, retrieved it, and dropped it with the rest of the garbage.

Merida watched. "Ye know, we dinnae have te ditch. If ye want, ye can come. Jus' gonna walk around before midnight. See what fate brings my way."

"Nah." Jim said. "I'm just gonna check out some music. Saw some good CDs in that store where Flynn got the camera."

"Stole the camera."

"Whatever. I'll be cool. But thanks."

Merida blew her hair. Then she stood.

"Ye know Hawkins." she said. "Itsa shame I dinnae find ye more attractive. Yer a lot good fun. And a whiz at lazer tag."

"Coming from the archery champ? And the self-proclaimed cheater? I'm proud."

"No. I'm not gettin' away w' ye. I'm serious. I uh…I've heard there's true love for everyone. And tho it's not somethin' I want fer myself…I eh…" Merida shrugged. "I think ye've got more than a fair chance."

Jim stared at his hands. Quietly, he spoke.

"Thanks Merida."

"Nothin' a bother." Merida offered first. " _Be excellent te each other_ , then?"

Jim grinned. He bumped her fist. " _Party on dude_."

They departed, two friends quoting an epic movie line that only they understood. Merida hunted for adventure and Jim drifted to a music media play where he could listen to hard-core-heavy-metal instead of the thoughts inside his head. It looked to be the typical end of a Saturday night in the lonely life of a teenage boy.

Except, that wouldn't make a very good love story.

Jim turned. He collided with the only other occupant browsing the music media play.

"Ariel."


	20. Ch20: Eluveitie and Phantom of the Opera

**Chapter 20:** ** _Eluveitie_** **and** ** _The Phantom of the Opera_**

Jim dropped his CDs. Ariel dropped hers. They smattered and mixed on the floor as the sales attendant threatened to charge them for any scratches.

"Sorry." Ariel scrambled for the CDs. Kneeling, Jim started to help. He stopped after noticing that Ariel – despite her staggeringly upbeat wardrobe – had been crying. Her eyes were bloodshot and her nose was red.

Uneasily, Jim gathered the CDs. Crying women were not really his forte. He'd had too little exposure. After all, costarring opposite Captain Amelia in _Treasure Planet_ had taught him how to _make_ people cry, not comfort them.

Jim proceeded cautiously. "Hey, uh. You okay – "

"Fine. Totally fine." Ariel ducked behind her hair. "Just listening to a sad song, that's all. I am absolutely, totally, one hundred percent _fine_."

Jim waited. When Ariel didn't continue, he scanned the store.

"Where's Eric?"

"He's-" Ariel glared at her CDs. Then she slapped a plastic case on her knee. "-probably eating sushi!"

Jim was lost. Although he did not understand the reference, Ariel looked ready to cry again so he attempted humor.

"That's…ironic. You'd think since you were a mermaid….you know….half fish versus raw fish…sushi would be out."

Ariel welled like a leaky faucet. Then, she laughed.

"That's what I said!" Smiling, Ariel wiped her eyes. "Ohh gosh, Jim. Eric is so, so stupid!"

It was a bizarre experience. Even with her simultaneous crying and smiling, Ariel still looked incredibly beautiful; Jim thought it must be analogous to a rainbow created by sun and rain.

"Well uh." Jim shuffled the CDs. "I guess you can't blame a guy for trying. Anyway…here are your CDs. I think that you had this one…this one…and – "

Jim stopped. He flipped over a case.

" _Eluveitie_?" Jim lifted the CD case. "Did you pick this one?"

Ariel sniffed. Shaking away her last tear, she nodded. "Yeah. _Eluveitie_. Swiss metal band, right?"

"Swiss _folk_ metal." Jim gestured with the CD. "I can't believe you _know_ them."

"Sure." she said. "They're great. I like them. Why? Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well… it's metal. And it's Swiss. And it's folk. _Eluveitie_ can get pretty hard."

"Princesses can't listen to heavy metal?" Ariel challenged.

"Apparently they can. It's just that…" Jim handed her the CD. "…I mean… _I_ listen to _Eluveitie_. And I'm me…and you're you."

Incredulously, Ariel grinned. " _Excuse me_?! What does _that_ mean? What type of music do you _think_ I listen to?"

Jim couldn't resist. "Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, or Brittany Spears."

Ariel couldn't stop laughing.

"First of all!" she joked. "Taylor Swift is life and her music is AH-mazing!"

"And second?" Jim grinned.

"And second, I'm not the only one with unexpected taste." Slyly, Ariel displayed one of Jim's selected CDs. " _Phantom of the Opera_?"

Jim's smile faded. He looked down, almost embarrassingly.

Ariel lowered the CD. She felt like an intruder. A little shyly she fingered the case. "So...what's your favorite _Phantom of the Opera_ song?"

"Ehhh." Jim shook his head. "It's dumb."

"No, seriously." Ariel touched his shoulder encouragingly. "Come on tell, me. What is it?"

"It's…" Jim said. "… _Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again_."

They were quiet.

Ariel smiled. She returned Jim's CD. "My favorite is _Think of Me_."

"Yeah." Jim cleared his throat. "Good song - makes an awesome mashup with that 80s hit, _With or Without You_."

" _With or Without You_? By U2?"

"You know that one too, huh?"

"Oh gosh yes. Remember," Ariel said. "My movie was made in 1989. I know all of those artists: U2, The Police, Queen, Journey, Fury in the Slaughterhouse, Metallica—"

"—Fury? Metallica? You're cultured. I'm impressed."

Ariel made jazz hands. "I'm an 80s girl."

"Yeah." Jim flicked Ariel's asymmetrical earring. "Yeah I could tell."

Ariel rubbed her earring. Shyly, she looked at Jim. "Hey. Jim. You wanna – "

"Oh my god! _Oh my god_ I can't take it anymore! Hey! _Little Mermaid_ and _Treasure Planet_ look alikes!"

The sales attendant, a bearded geek wearing a _Star Wars_ bowtie, erupted from where he'd been spying behind the music racks. Bustling through the aisle, he pointed exasperatedly at Ariel and Jim.

"You two are ridiculous! Either _someone_ needs to buy _something_ OR _someone_ needs to ask _someone_ _else_ out! You like music? You wanna bond? Awesome – there's a alternative rock concert tonight at Cocoa Beach! There's going to be a butt-load of crappy _Coldplay_ and _Breaking Benjamin_ covers that you two will probably love and can definitely make _if_ one of you has the balls to ask the other on a freaking date! Come on people! Get it _onnnnnn_! WTF! OMG! 2G2BT! 4COL!"

Panting, the sales attendant straightened his bowtie.

"So. Can I help you two with anything else?"

Jim glanced at Ariel. She nodded.

"You got directions to Cocoa Beach?"

The concert was everything the sales attendant promised it would be: a butt-load of crappy _Coldplay_ and _Breaking Benjamin_ covers that Jim and Ariel loved so much, they bought band T-shirts. Ariel's shirt was too big and Jim's was too small, so they traded during a refreshing walk along the beach. The breeze felt fantastic following the sweaty concert, and while Jim identified constellations, Ariel made fun of his hipster glasses. But she also complimented his newsboy hat, so everything was 'cool.'

But everything stopped being cool when Ariel saw Eric. He was settled in the sand, kissing the redheaded mermaid from _Peter Pan_.

Ariel looked. And then she ran.

"Ariel!" Jim sprinted to catch up. "Ariel, hold it! Ariel you've got to go back!"

"His tongue!" Ariel snarled. "Was halfway down her throat!"

"So confront him." Jim grabbed her wrist. "Come on – I'll go with you – "

"No!" Ariel spun. "No, Jim! I don't care! I don't care if he – "

"Ariel!" Jim said. "Don't let him treat you like this! You want me to beat him up?"

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because!" Ariel threw her band Tshirt. It hit Jim's chest. "It's _you_ I want, stupid! You stupid, _stupid_ pirate! Not him!"

Jim stared. He stepped back. "No…no you don't."

"Don't tell me what I don't want!"

"No. Listen." Jim shook his head. "Your movie. You have it all. Happily ever after. True love. Your…movie."

Ariel glared. She didn't bother to wipe her tears. " _I_ didn't write it."

"No." Jim swallowed. There was barbed wire in his throat. "You _lived_ it. You lived…every person's fantasy."

Ariel stepped forward. Hooking Jim's neck, she looked directly into his eyes.

"But this is the real world." she said. "And tonight, _I_ have a choice. And so do you."

Jim felt himself sinking into Ariel's spell.

"Ariel…it's still called cheating."

She smiled. Closing her eyes, she decided that she really didn't care.

"That's a lot…" Ariel drew Jim to her lips. "…coming from a pirate."


	21. Chapter 21: Close Your Eyes

**Chapter 21: Close Your Eyes**

Wendy Darling was a smart girl. _Of course_ she had suspicions. Given all of Peter's hints, Captain Hook's insinuations, memories of _Peter Pan's Flight_ , and her own secret desires, Wendy believed that Peter Pan wanted to give her a kiss. At the very least he was curious; curious enough to explorer the idea like an adventurer exploring a mysterious treasure map.

However, Wendy Darling was also very prudent and demure. A proper young lady, she suppressed her suspicions under the guise of first-date flutters. After all, Wendy had always been a little smitten with Peter. Her feelings were only natural.

However, since their first meeting Wendy had amended her feelings; she learned to love Peter as a best friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just a silly best friend to share adventures, tell stories, and play pranks on pirates.

The reason? Well, it was because Peter Pan...was Peter Pan.

Peter symbolized a very special idea to the people of the world: _One may grow up, but one can always grow with the faith of a child_. The type of _faith_ that upholds whatever you dream– no matter how fantastic – that dream can come true. If only you just believe.

People depended on Peter Pan; Wendy saw it every day. Visitors came to _Disney World_ just too see him. Whether it was a toddler meeting his hero, a teenager with a secret crush, or a young adult desperately searching for her childhood, people _needed_ Peter.

Peter Pan was special. His spirit was immortal as his youth.

And Wendy could not bring herself to change that. She could not ask Peter Pan to grow up.

So, even though she _wanted_ her suspicions to be true, Wendy kept them under lock and key. She settled instead for a perfectly lovely date.

"Is THIS how you feel all the time?!"

Wendy laughed. Peter had taken her to a playground. _Gravity_ was a new concept for him, and Peter wanted to try _falling_ every way possible. A playground was the perfect springboard.

It was adorable. Peter sampled every playground station with the enthusiasm of a puppy. At first he worked on mastering each obstacle. It was tough without flight, but not a problem for Peter Pan! Then, after he was proficient on the playground equipment, Peter practiced falling.

"Watch!" He'd call from the monkey bars. For a moment he'd dangle, making sure Wendy was watching. Then with a _snap_ Peter would release, plunge, and roll across the woodchips laughing like a goon.

Wendy insisted that Peter stop falling when the _round-about_ almost flung him to kingdom-come. Happily, Peter retired to the slide. Wendy agreed to let him descend backwards if she guarded the bottom. Peter was satisfied and Wendy stopped counting his rides when the number exceeded a thousand.

"Is what how I feel all the time?" Wendy asked as Peter slid backwards and bumped into her hip. She smiled. Had she not been there, Peter would have fallen off and cracked his head!

"Like this!" Peter kicked his feet in the air. "Like you could fall down at ANY second!"

"Not exactly." Wendy shifted as Peter scooched by her legs. "Regular children don't learn to fly. But we _do_ learn balance."

"Well flying is good!" Peter hung upside-down from the slide. "But this is wayyy more fun! There's _no_ way to stop yourself! You just stumble and _plunk! Kerrr-spat!_ "

Peter twisted, searching for Wendy's face. Mischievously he winked. "No wonder I have to catch you all the time!"

Wendy feigned offense. "I _beg your pardon_ , Sir?"

"Beg it all you want! Let's see, shall we count the times I've saved you from falling? Hm." Peter held out a thumb. "One: your first day in Neverland – "

Wendy hopped from the slide. "—after being shot by the Lost Boys – "

"- Two: your second day in Neverland –"

"Oh Peter you can't count _that_!"

"—Three!" said Peter as Wendy settled on a swing. "Your third day in Neverland – "

"—But I didn't see those storm clouds coming!"

"—Four." Peter grabbed the swing. "Your fourth day in Neverland – "

"Peter!" Wendy protested. "You _tripped_ me!"

"Five, six, seven," Peter stepped onto the swing. He stood behind Wendy. Together they started to pump. "Eight, nine, ten, t _wo-hundred-and-one_ , _two-hundred-and-two,_ _two-hundred-and-three, two-hundred-and-four_ –!"

"Oh come now!" Wendy kicked her legs. She felt Peter leaning into the momentum from behind. "That's not fair! You only just taught me to fly! It was my first time!"

Peter's grin was criminal. "You think you're any better?"

"What?"

Peter threw his body forward and back. The swing arched higher and higher with each pass.

"Well you _are_ my best flier!" Peter squeezed Wendy with his knees. "So show me little Wendy Bird! Prove it! Let's fly! _On the count of three_!"

"What?" Wendy's stomach dropped as the swing lifted and plunged. "You don't mean _jump_?"

"ONE!" Peter yelled.

Wendy tried to catch the earth with her toes. "Peter!"

"TWO!" Peter unclenched her hands.

"Ohhh!" Wendy closed her eyes.

The swing reeled back, hurdled down, vaulted up –

"THREE!"

They jumped. And then, they fell.

"Oof!"

The earth and sky spiraled into a mushy blur. Peter threw one arm into the woodchips and the other around Wendy. He twisted, wrenching Wendy on top him so she wouldn't get hurt.

Together they skid to a halt.

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaand ho!" Peter sang.

"Land ho?" Wendy gasped. "No sir! _Crash_ landing!"

"Yeah! You fell _again_!" Peter smirked. "Should we add that to the list? Fall and rescue number...?"

Wendy hit Peter Pan with his hat.

"You are incredible!" she laughed, beating him with her fists. "Incredible and unbelievable!"

"Thanks!"

"That was _not_ a compliment!"

Peter grappled. He forced Wendy's hands into his. When their fingers were weaved, he yanked, pulling her onto his chest. Wendy lurched. Her lips stopped a breath from his.

The children stared, waiting for the moment to unfreeze into something that neither quite understood but wanted to understand.

"I..." Wendy withdrew. Untangling her fingers, she hurried away.

But somehow, Peter stopped her escape. Standing before her, he spoke very calm and very direct.

"Close your eyes."

"...w..why?"

Peter stepped forward. Deftly, he placed both thumbs over her lids.

"It's okay."

His fingers drifted from her lashes and into her hair. Then, they disappeared.

"Just think of a happy thought."

Wendy trembled. Her heart throbbed out of her body and into the air. She was scared, so very scared.

Then Peter whispered.

"Trust me."

Wendy inhaled. He was close. Too, too close. Thoughtlessly, she touched her acorn necklace. But, she trusted Peter Pan. She trusted him more than anyone else in the world; real or not.

Breath held, Wendy waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"...Peter?"

Someone snickered. Some _thing_ crawled up her spine.

"Peter?"

Wendy opened her eyes.

She screamed as Tinkerbell attacked from behind.

Captain Hook smiled.

"Hello Wendy." he said, hook pulling Peter Pan's throat.

* * *

 **sultal's note: there is an adorable pic of wendy/peter Disney World character actors on a playground slide that helped this chapter along! Google it I guess for the feels...? ;)**


	22. Chapter 22: Walk the Plank

**Chapter 22: Walk the Plank**

There is a legend that _Walt Disney World_ sits over underground tunnels. Some believe this legend, others do not. Skeptics dismiss it as a conspiracy theory. Rationalists call it the ' _Disney_ _Utilidor System_ ' and explain that the tunnels are "backstage" areas that allow characters to travel between _Disney_ parks without spoiling the magical illusion.

Dreamers, however, know the truth. Dreamers know that the underground tunnels are infested with villains. Dreamers know that the underground tunnels below _Walt Disney World_ are the villains' lair.

It was here that Captain Hook brought Wendy and Peter Pan. Deep into the underground tunnels where the light was dim, the air was humid, and hysterical laugher echoed through the halls.

Tinkerbell wished to accompany them but Captain Hook refused. Despite her vengeful attributes, Tinkerbell was a still a heroine. The tunnels were filthy with villains – Tinkerbell might not survive.

Tonight was especially dangerous; the villains _very much_ resented Mickey Mouse's ban from the dates. Albeit, few villains were romantically involved. However, wreaking havoc in the 'real world' was a missed opportunity that they would not forgive.

The villains were offended. The villains were mad.

And they were spiteful. Very, very spiteful.

"And I know the two perfect _Disney_ starlets..." Captain Hook threw Wendy and Peter into the tunnels. He rubbed his hook as the children stumbled into members of his pirate crew.

"...to ease their spite. Fear not Miss Bell – I shall describe our revenge in utmost detail. Perhaps over crumpets and tea. Smee! Turk! Starkey! Jukes! Avast ye scrogs! Hold those brats fast, but do not spoil them!"

Captain Hook ducked into the tunnels.

"At least...not yet."

They proceeded so far down and through so many twisted corridors, Wendy lost her bearings. Despite the improbability of escape, she struggled every step of the way. But the pirates merely laughed. In fact, they seemed to be enjoying themselves – especially with Peter.

"He _can't_ _fly_!" Delighted, Starkey hung Peter upside-down. "Jukes! Take a look! The boy can't fly!"

"He's a noodle!" Jukes slapped Peter's head. "A bloody limp noodle! C'm Starkey! Swing 'im like a piñata! Lemmie crack his skull for candy!"

"Stop it!" Wendy shouted. "Sto—" Turk covered her mouth as Captain Hook spoke.

"Belay Mr. Jukes. T'will be plenty of time for festivities but we mustn't be selfish. After all..."

Captain Hook patted Peter's cheek "...we must share our toys with the other children. Mustn't we?"

Peter punched, but missed as Starkey jounced him up and down. Smugly, Captain Hook waved them into a chamber.

The chamber was dark, too dark to see. But as they entered Wendy could feel that it was crowded; bodies bumped against her and voices screamed in her ears. Wendy called for Peter, but her voice was lost in the surrounding raucous.

"They can't see!" someone screeched. "They can't see in the dark! Facilier! Light!"

 _Foosh!_ Psychedelic colors erupted from Facilier's hand. Neon lights fumed across the chamber and glowed over the smiles of every single _Disney_ villain.

Wendy was too scared to cry. Her imagination exploded, extrapolating every possible wicked deed the villains could commit. _Villains hated heroes, she and Peter were trapped underground, Mickey Mouse didn't know they were here, Peter could not fly..._

"Peter!" Desperately Wendy searched. Without his flight and without his magical powers, the villains would surely target Peter. They would take advantage of his lost abilities. They would tease him. They would mock him.

They would hurt him.

"Fly! Come bloody Peter Pan! Fly! _Fly!_ "

Villains screamed behind her. A second later, Wendy heard Peter yell. Straining, Wendy fought to turn against her captor. The pirate yanked her about, refusing to let her see.

"Oh go ahead, Mr. Turk." Lazily Captain Hook signaled him to turn. "Let her watch. Tis _tremendously_ amusing."

Turk obeyed. Tightening his hold, he brought Wendy around to see Peter Pan.

Peter was swarmed. The villains picked at him like vultures. Inspired by the pirates, they dangled him upside-down and laughed hysterically when Peter dropped on his head. They swung him like a hammock, ripped his grown-up suit, and pulled his rounded ears. They strung Peter Pan like a puppet and had fun.

Wendy was beside herself.

"You _evil_!" Turk wavered as Wendy lunged. She was furious, incensed. Practically spitting she screamed at Captain Hook. "You evil, _evil_ things! Stop it! _Stop it_! Let him alone! Take me instead but just _let Peter alone_!"

Captain Hook practically glittered.

"Oh, my dear." Drawing a pistol from his trench coat, Captain Hook aimed into the air. "What a _delightful_ suggestion."

The pistol fired. The commotion died. The villains turned.

"Villainous friends..." lightly Captain Hook blew the smoking barrel. "Allow me to introduce our two guests? Please, _do_ say hello to Master Peter Pan..."

Captain Hook gestured. The villains cackled as Peter hung in their arms, mopping a bloody nose.

"And his lovely date..." Captain Hook stroked Wendy's hair. "...Miss Wendy Moria Angela Darling."

Several villains cooed. Gaston whistled.

"And don't you all agree – " Captain Hook gestured for Peter. The villains carried him aloft, and laughed when Captain Hook smushed Peter and Wendy's cheeks together. "—that they make an _adorable_ couple?"

Peter bucked. Captain Hook pushed back, squashing his face against Wendy's. As the villains pretended to snap photos, Peter snuffed. Blood spurted from his nose.

"Wendy you okay?"

"But poor us!" Captain Hook suddenly wailed. Dramatically, he rose. "Poor us, the damned villains of _Disney_! Poor us, despised by Mickey Mouse! Poor us, denied of the simple pleasures! Poor us, forbidden to go on a teeny, tiny date! Why – tis been so long, we have quite forgotten what a date is! Alas! Poor us!"

The villains feigned sadness. Madam Medusa and Cruella de Vil puckered their lips. Hades and Prince John stuck themselves with imaginary swords.

"But lucky us!" Captain Hook proclaimed. "Fortune smiles! For tonight we have two little lovers that can tell us _exactly_ what a date is! Two little lovers that can fill our black hearts with... _happy thoughts_!"

The villains blew disgusting noises. _Happy thoughts. Gross._

"But the question becomes: who shall enlighten us about these dates? My villainous friends, if it pleases you, then I propose..." Captain Hook flourished at Wendy. "...we ask the storyteller."

Peter protested. But ShanYu boxed his nose as Captain Hook tossed Wendy into the crowd.

"Go ahead." Captain Hook welcomed the villains. "Ask away."

The villains circled. Wendy turned, trying to catch the fingers and move the claws before they could touch her.

"Are you having a _wonderful_ date?" sneered Madam Mim.

"A _dreadfully wonderful_ date?" added The Queen of Hearts.

Drizella and Anastasia pushed her from behind. "What were you _doing_ in the playground?"

Mother Gothel snatched her from ahead. "And _all alone_?"

A cluster of villains started to sing. "Peter and Wendy sittin' in the tree!"

A second group screamed. "K-I-S-S-I-N –"

" _Leave her alone_!"

Peter heaved against Shan-Yu. Blood shinning under his nose, he growled like a lion protecting his cub.

"You hear me codfish!? Leave Wendy alone! I saved her once and I can do it again – _without flying_! And when we get out of here, all you codfish are _dead_! When I tell Mickey Mouse you kidnapped us, he's gonna – "

"Mickey Mouse will never find out!" hissed Captain Hook. Haughtily he snapped his fingers and Wendy was restrained. "This is the beauty of Maleficent's curse, Peter Pan! You see – on the stroke of twelve you will _forget_. You will forget this night. You will forget this date. _And you will forget everything_ _that we do to you_..."

Captain Hook pointed. "...and to Wendy. So. I see no reason to hold back! Mates!"

Spinning, Captain Hook raised his arms. "Peter Pan still fancies himself a hero! So...let's have his little princess walk the plank!"

The villains cheered. Forming a parade, they drove Wendy and Peter to the center of the chamber.

"Maleficent!" Captain Hook commanded. "Our islands, if you please!?"

The villains roared, urging Maleficent to comply. Maleficent cracked her scepter twice into the ground. In a swirl of green magic, two round tables appeared, set ten paces apart.

"Throw them on!" growled Captain Hook.

Wendy floundered as the villains propelled her at the table. She kicked, trying to balance as they lifted and shoved.

"Get on Missy!"

"Upsa-daisy!"

"Up you go!"

Awkwardly Wendy stumbled onto the tabletop. She retreated to the center as the villains snatched playfully at her skirt.

"Wendy!"

She turned. Peter stood on the opposite table. Defiantly he thrashed at villains as they crawled below him. Between punches he glanced lividly to Wendy, contemplating the distance between their tables.

The distance was a trivial one to fly; but it was a gargantuan one to jump.

"And now, Maleficent." Captain Hook said. "The plank."

Maleficent swept are scepter. Green flames licked the space between Peter and Wendy before solidifying into a wooden plank. The plank dropped onto the tables, forming a bridge.

Peter bolted. But before he could cross, an onslaught of swords blocked his path.

"Bad form Peter. Not so fast." Captain Hook wagged a finger. "You haven't heard the rules to my little game. You see, as your chaperone I am obligated to supervise your date to avoid any...eh... _inappropriateness_. However, I am also fair as the day is long. Isn't that correct Mr. Smee?"

"Indubitably!" chimed Mr. Smee.

"So..." Captain Hook waded through the villains. "I will give you a chance. You may either spend the remainder of your date in the company of villains..."

The villains giggled.

"...or, in our dungeons. Separated by bars."

Captain Hook caressed the plank. "Do you remember this? I am certain Miss Darling remembers it well. This is the very same plank from my ship, the _Jolly Roger_. Now, my game is very simple. You will walk the plank. If you reach each other, you go to the dungeons. If you fall..."

Captain Hook gestured wide. The villains reached across the plank, miming grabbing motions. The intent was clear – they were going to tear the children from the plank.

"If you fall then your date will be speant with us." Captain Hook said. "The villains of _Disney_. You will give us the date the Mickey Mouse so foolishly forbade. So..."

Captain Hook smoothed his moustache.

"...any questions?"

Peter scoffed. Confidently he rolled up his sleeves.

"Puh. Stupid codfish. Wendy? Wendy, you stay there okay?" Peter stomped, testing the plank. "You stay there and I'll come get you. Then – "

Peter jumped back as the villains hacked swords at his sneakers.

"My dear boy." Captain Hook laughed. "I don't think you comprehend my game. Why, you behave as if you've never acted out this scene before. Or..."

Captain Hook bared his teeth. "... _reenacted_ this scene before. Perhaps a dozen or so times a week? Just you and your little Wendy friend? Playing hero, reliving moments of glory, _etcetera_ and so forth. I would have thought you'd remember. You see..."

Captain Hook snapped. Peter faltered as Stromboli grabbed his right leg and Governor Radcliff grabbed his left. Kaa, _The Jungle Book_ python, wrapped around Peter knees, anchoring him to the table.

"You see..." Captain Hook continued as Peter struggled. "I am a nostalgic man. Devilishly so. And since your little Wendy was the one to originally walk my plank...she will do so again tonight."

Captain Hook turned to Wendy. His smile split his face.

"So, Wendy. Will you fly? Will you fall? Or is Peter Pan...oh how did you word it, little storyteller? _Worthless for love_?"

Wendy stared. She gripped her acorn necklace so hard it cut into her palm.

"Off with you, then." Captain Hook wriggled his fingers. " _Walk the plank_."

"Wendy!" Peter twisted against the villains. He tried to wrench free. "Wendy! Don't!"

Wendy edged forward. She tapped the plank. It wobbled.

"Wendy don't!" Peter repeated. "It's a trick!"

Wendy bit her lip. She stood at the table's edge. Tentatively she lifted a foot.

"RUUUAF!"Gaston barked, pouncing at her shoe. Wendy skipped backwards. In her startle she tripped and started to fall. Captain Hook smiled appreciatively as the villains jostled her upright.

"Well..." Captain Hook nodded at Maleficent "...a _telling_ forecast to the actual performance. Come my dear Wendy. Tis but a few steps. _Walk the plank_."

"Yeah!" The villains prodded Wendy. "Get goin' strumpet! Quit stallin'! Off the table with you! Walk the plank!"

"Wendy! Wendy _don't move_! Just look at me! Wendy look!" Peter touched his eyes. "Look at me right here. Okay. You looking?"

Wendy looked. As their eyes met, Peter smiled. His voice became very calm.

"That's it. That's my girl. _Whup,_ no _,_ no!Don't look at them, look at me. Good. Now Wendy..." Peter placed both hands on his hips. "You know I'm okay. Right?"

Kaa coiled up Peter's thigh. Peter jerked to maintain his balance.

Wendy shook her head. "Peter – "

"Wendy this is nothing! This..." Peter faltered. Kaa curled across his chest.

Wendy moved. Peter threw out a hand, stopping her before she reached the plank.

"Wendy we can stand here all night! That stupid codfish made the rules! If we stand here, we'll be safe. And I'm having a grand ol' time!"

Kaa slithered across Peter's shoulders. With difficulty, Peter lifted his head. His body sagged, but his smile was unbroken.

"Wendy." Peter winked. "Trust me. Everything is okay. I promise. _Just please - stay there_."

"Yes." said Captain Hook. "Yes Wendy. _Just stay there._ I'm sure Kaa can amuse himself until midnight. Kaa – why not sample the boy's ears? They've already unmagicked off the points. Go ahead. Have a taste of the rest."

"No!" Horrified Wendy watched Kaa nuzzle into Peter's ear. "No! Stop! Stop hurting him! I'll do it! I'll go – "

"Wendy I'm okay! Wendy I'm fine – "

Wendy clenched her fist. She backed for a running start.

"Wendy!" Peter called. "Wendy don't walk the plank – "

Wendy closed her eyes. She squeezed her acorn necklace.

"Wendy!" Peter begged. "DON'T!"

Wendy released her necklace. "I'm sorry." she whispered, sprinting across the plank.

Captain Hook was surprised. Wendy crossed farther than he _ever_ would have imagined her capable.

But, alas, not far enough.

The villains attacked her like wolves attacking a fawn. In seconds Wendy crumpled to her knees. Disoriented she crawled as the villains tried to rip her from the plank. Scar bit her shoelaces. Fidget darted into her eyes. Esma scratched her ankle. A thousand hands climbed over body, pried her fingers, and yanked her dress.

The villains were ravenous. They celebrated and they laughed. They jeered and they jibed. And they applauded as the great Maleficent descended from her pedestal, seized a fistful of Wendy's hair –

"STOP!" Peter swam to his knees. Struggling against his captors, he dove for the plank.

"Wendy! It's okay! I'm coming! I'm coming!"

Whether or not she heard him, Wendy looked up. And just as Peter remembered, clearly as the first time he saved her from walking the plank, Wendy was crying. Silently crying.

And Peter knew she was scared.

Peter lifted his hand.

"I won't let you fall."

Peter reached. Wendy reached. Their fingertips brushed.

Then, Captain Hook seized the wooden underside. The plank flipped. Wendy fell. And Peter screamed as she sunk into the villains.

"So much!" Ursula shrieked. "For true love!"


	23. Chapter 23: Second Date

**Chapter 23: Second Date**

Peter was livid. But he wasn't sure at who.

"You codfish! You dirty, rotten, stinking, stupid, smelly, old – "

"Jafar! Hans! Gaston! One of you…" Captain Hook said. "…silence that brat or cut out his tongue."

"Oh dear, dear twiddle-de-me!" Mr. Smee jogged behind. "Don't slur the poor captain Peter Pan! You're going down to the dungeons! Miss Wendy is already there! No need to sully the Captain!"

"Mr. Smee!" Captain Hook growled. "Shut up! It is your fault Pan is going to the dungeons! Pray that I do not feed you to the villains upon our return."

Mr. Smee gulped. Captain Hook was right: It _was_ his fault. After Wendy had fallen from the plank, the villains had intended to celebrate with a second round of torment. But as they dragged Peter from his table, Mr. Smee was confused. And per his usual nervous habit, Mr. Smee called attention to his confusion.

Having been chosen referee, Mr. Smee pointed out that Wendy _had_ "reached" Peter before she fell. They brushed fingertips; Mr. Smee saw it with his own eyes. He'd even polished his spectacles for the occasion.

The villains were infuriated. However, as dictated by Captain Hook, the children _would_ win the game if they "reached" the other.

Now villains are evil, make no mistake. But, villains are also true to their word. Their vows are held sacred and their promises are steadfast. It was an ironic virtue, but it was the only way to be a respectable villain.

So, the villains were trapped. The children had _reached_ each other fair and square. They had no choice but to award Wendy and Peter a date in the dungeon. _Curses. Curses galore._

"Quickly." Captain Hook entered the dungeon. "Bring him inside."

The dungeon was a frightening place. Each prison cell was carved into the floor and fortified with rock and metal grate. A ten foot drop prevented escape and allowed the villains to observe their victims by the light of an acid-green glow.

It looked less like a dungeon than a burial ground.

Striding to an empty cell, Captain Hook kicked the trap door. As the lattice swung, he vaguely noticed Wendy curled in the adjacent pit.

"Drop him." Captain Hook ordered. Grouchily, he waited as Hans, Gaston, and Jafar threw Peter into the cell. Peter swiped for the edge, but missed.

Peter fell. Mr. Smee flinched as he _thumped_.

"As promised." Captain Hook sneered as Peter frisked the dungeon walls. "The remainder of your precious night spent in a dungeon, absent of villainous company. Just you…"

Captain rapped his sword over Wendy's cell. "…and your _lovely date_."

"Oh dear. Peter Pan doesn't look too happy with your hospitality, Capn." Mr. Smee adjusted his glasses. "Neither does the little miss."

Captain Hook scanned Wendy's cell. It was dark, but her glare was unmistakable.

"Oh. Don't look at me like _that_ , my dear. Tis only an hour or so until midnight. And remember…."

His sword clicked over the metal grate. "I _did_ warn you. I _said_ that you would pay. And pay you have, with a perfectly horrid date. But, what can you expect. After all…"

Captain Hook sharpened his words, hoping that they would cut her.

"Why shouldn't a date go awry, with a boy who cannot love?"

Wendy bristled. Her arms tightened around her knees.

"Fear not." Signaling the villains, Captain Hook marched away. "All good things end. For at the stroke of twelve… _you will forget_."

"I won't!" Peter hit the prison wall. "I won't forget! You're gonna pay Hook! You're gonna pay! When I get out of here _you – will – pay_!"

Captain Hook disappeared. Incensed, Peter jumped, trying to claw up the walls. The rocks were jagged but the pitch was steep. Gravel rolled under Peter's fingers, loosening his hold.

Peter wiped his nose. The dried blood, caked over his nostril, broke. As the bleeding recurred, he searched for an escape. But there was no way out. Just a low row of vertical bars, leading into Wendy's cell.

Peter turned. Wendy was on the other side. She was sitting very still, head in her arms and arms around her knees. Her ribbon was unkempt. Her soles were split. Her elbow was scuffed. Her hem was torn. And her eyes were straight ahead.

Peter approached the bars. He knelt.

"Why are _you_ crying?"

Wendy was not crying, but Peter wished she would. He wished she would have a temper tantrum so he wouldn't have to _think_ of her crying silently on the plank.

"I said," Peter whacked the bars. "Why are _you_ crying? I'm the one with a busted nose!"

Wendy did not answer. But she winced as if Peter had hit her.

"You stubborn girl!" Peter snarled. "You couldn't just listen, could you? You couldn't just do as I say? All you had to do was stay still! That's it! I didn't ask you to fight! I didn't ask you fly! I didn't ask you to walk the plank! All I asked was for you to _stay still_! One order! Just one! Was that so hard to understand? Was it? Huh?"

He waited.

"Well WAS IT?" Peter yelled. "Was it too hard to stay still? Or did you like walking the plank? Did you like being laughed at? Did you like having your hair pulled? Did you like being scratched, pushed, shoved, and hurt when I couldn't help you? Huh? HUH? _WHY_?! WHY didn't you do as I say? _Wendy_ –"

Peter squeezed the bars. "— _why didn't you just LISTEN TO ME_?"

Peter collapsed against the wall. Furiously he pressed fists into his brow.

Then he heard a small _rip_.

Peter looked.

Wendy was facing him. She had torn a tiny piece of fabric from her frayed hem. Reaching through the bars, Wend carefully bunched the fabric in Peter's bloody nose. When the nostril was plugged, she stared numbly at the floor.

"…stop blaming yourself."

Peter's eyes brimmed. Resolute not to cry, he shook his head.

But all the while Peter marveled: Wendy was remarkable. She read him easily as one of her storybooks. She knew Peter was disgusted with himself before _he_ did. She did not blame him for being angry. She did not blame him for shouting. She only blamed him for blaming himself. And good storyteller that she was, Wendy edited-out Peter's transgressions and rewrote the ending so he could forgive the faults he could not prevent.

Tiredly, Peter sagged against the bars.

"Is this how you feel all the time?"

Wendy looked hurt. "I…I told you. Regular children stumble and trip. And…I tried not to fall. But…"

Ashamed, Wendy lowered her head. "I'm sorry. They were too strong."

"No. Not that. I didn't mean falling. I meant… _this_." Peter touched his chest. "Is _this_ how you feel all the time?"

Wendy paused too long.

"…I don't understand."

Peter concentrated on Wendy. He gazed at her so intently the blacks of his irises burned.

"I think you do." he finally said. "And I think you're lying to me. Again."

"You keep saying that!" Wendy turned, too uncomfortable with Peter's queries. "You said it before! And you're saying it now! And it's not true! I don't lie and I wouldn't! Especially not to you – "

"Then what's a kiss?"

Wendy was silent.

Peter nodded. Rubbing his chest, he started to explain.

"When Mickey Mouse took our magic, I lost my flight. But I…I also…" Peter swallowed, "I…I grew – "

"No you didn't." Wendy glistened with tears. "Not in one night. Peter you did not – "

"—grow up? Wendy I…I think I did. Just a little. Just enough. Enough to know you lied to me. Enough to know…"

Peter pointed at her acorn necklace. "…that isn't a kiss. And neither…"

He lifted his silver thimble. "…is this. You lied to me Wendy. You lied to me on our first date."

"Peter I –– _first date_? Peter... _this_ is our first date."

"Actually…" Peter smiled. "This date…is our second."

"Second?" Wendy said. "How can this be our second date?"

"Because we already had one."

Wendy shook her head. " _When_?"

"The first day we met." Peter replied. "Properly, that is. You remember. You were in bed. Sleeping. I woke you up. With my shadow…."

Peter leaned forward. "Remember?"

"I...of course I remember meeting you. But…" Wendy peered, trying to understand. "…but Peter. That wasn't a date."

Peter laughed. "Well you're a silly girl. I say it was."

"But it wasn't."

"Can you prove it?"

"Can I _prove_ it?"

"Because I can." Peter said. "It's just like Prince Edward said. A date is where a girl and a boy hold hands, dress nice, talk about themselves, their likes and dislikes, and go someplace special. We did all those things in one night. You wore your blue ribbon, and my dagger was just shined. We held hands when I taught you to fly."

Enthused, Peter hopped onto his knees. "We talked about ourselves – you talked a lot! _I_ learned _you_ liked magic moons, mermaid lagoons, and sewing shadows onto bare shoes! _You_ learned that _I_ liked your stories, especially the ones about me! And we _both_ learned that neither of us wanted you to grow up! And then – "

Peter grabbed Wendy's hand. He sailed his opposite through the air.

"Then I took you someplace special. I took you…to Neverland. You see Wendy?"

Peter's tone softened. " _That_ was our first date. We did everything Prince Edward said. We were _perfect_. Except for one thing. You lied to me Wendy. You lied to me about the kiss."

Wendy was stunned. She tried to free her hand. But Peter tightened his hold.

"Wendy. If I ask you something…will you not lie to me again?"

She breathed. "…what?"

Peter returned to his first question. Gently, he encircled his chest.

"This feeling. Here. Inside me. It aches. It aches when I can't be near you. It aches when I can't protect you. It aches when I imagine you are not with me. But…when I imagine you _are_ with me. When I _can_ save you. When you are _near_ …it sings."

Peter pressed Wendy's hand directly over the painful spot. As she touched it, the ache started to sing.

Peter closed his eyes.

"Wendy, the truth : Is this how you feel all the time?"

"…yes."

Peter smiled. "I thought so."

Wendy almost laughed. "…clever. I suppose."

He choked. "Yeah! The cleverness of me. The cleverness of me…"

Peter inhaled. His chest swelled against Wendy's hand.

"Wendy?"

"Peter?"

He opened his eyes. His heartbeat throbbed beneath her fingers.

"Wendy…I should like…to give you a kiss."

"I'm afraid – " Captain Hook suddenly appeared. "—there is no time."

They looked. Villains leered through the trapdoor. Mr. Smee was stooped over the metal grate, tapping an alarm clock as Captain Hook spoke.

"Quarter to midnight. Fifteen minutes to forget."


	24. Chapter 24: True Love's Kiss?

**Chapter 24: True Love's Kiss?**

Despite the approaching midnight hour and the end of dates that they would never remember, the _Disney_ characters were a little tipsy. Their 'real world' extravaganza had been magical. No one wanted it to end. But, they were all happy it had been.

Sigh. Bitter-sweetly, the _Disney_ characters consented that some things were worth forgetting.

Flynn Rider was not of that persuasion.

"In conclusion!" Flynn sang into his video camera. "To Future Rapunzel and Future Flynn: everything on this videotape is true! This is not a joke! This is not a prank! And we are not stunt doubles! Rapunzel and I – "

He smooched Rapunzel's cheek.

"—had our first date! And in exactly five minutes we will forget everything. _So_ Future Rapunzel and Future Flynn, it is _your_ job to remember this night! It was the best date ever. The best date ever…"

Flynn paused. Tenderly he hugged Rapunzel's shoulders.

"The best date ever…with the best girl ever."

"Ohhh." Imaginary hearts blossomed from Rapunzel's eyes. "Eugene!"

Flynn's tongue felt gushy. With uncharacteristic sincerity he brushed Rapunzel's hair.

"I'm crazy about her, Future Flynn." Flynn spoke to the camera, but he couldn't break Rapunzel's gaze. "So get remembering. Or find someone that can. Remember… _Bro Code Number 111._ "

"What's that?" Rapunzel asked.

Flynn propped the camera. "Ask Future Flynn." he said, giving Rapunzel true love's kiss.

It was beautiful. After all, true love's kiss _is_ the most magical thing in the entire world (especially if you are a _Disney_ character). It is a _sacred_ moment of _pure_ intimacy and _utter_ understanding shared between two people. And two people alone.

And Flynn was going to make it viral! He _meant_ to get it on video. It would do wonders for his _YouTube_ channel and probably upscale him to social-media celebrity rankings.

However, Rapunzel was a _very_ good kisser, and Flynn nearly died and went to Heaven by the time she was through. As they kissed the camera flipped, recording backwards and upside-down. It was a wonder Flynn didn't drop it altogether. It was also a wonder Rapunzel didn't send him into cardiac arrest.

Mickey Mouse smiled sadly over the proceedings. Each character was so happy. It was a shame they would forget. Tail knotted with Minnie's, Mickey addressed the giddy _Disney_ crowd.

"Three minutes to midnight! Three minutes to go!" Mickey swept his hand, creating a sudden hush. "Time to say goodnight."

Ariel turned to Jim. She smiled secretively and together they laughed.

"Think of me?" Ariel asked, half singing _The Phantom of the Opera_ song. "Think of me fondly? When we've said goodbye?"

Jim understood the reference. And he thought it was perfect. Somehow Ariel had navigated the fine line between mushy and romantic, to cut straight into his broken heart.

Silently Jim opened his arms. He hugged Ariel hard, trying to press the moment into his memory. But he couldn't. He would forget. And so would she.

"I'll uh...be wishing…" Jim tried to answer Ariel's musical reference. The song lyric caught in his throat. "Wishing you were somehow here again. Wishing you were somehow near."

Ariel squeezed. Jim tried to depart, but she held their embrace like the moon holding an ocean tide. Jim lift his eyes to the stars. Then, he buried them into Ariel's hair.

Mickey Mouse smiled.

"One minute." he said. "One minute to go. Last chance everyone. And might I suggest…a goodnight kiss?"

Perhaps Mickey Mouse's comment was directed at Wendy Darling and Peter Pan. Perhaps. Perhaps it was directed at Minnie, who promptly speckled his nose. Perhaps it was directed at Rapunzel and Flynn, who's kissing really hadn't stopped. Perhaps it was directed at Ariel and Jim, two star-crossed lovers from different worlds. Perhaps it was directed to all of _Disney World_. Perhaps it was just a polite suggestion. Perhaps it was a friendly tip. Perhaps it was just the expected thing to say before each first date was cursed.

Perhaps. No one really knows.

Either way, Peter approached Wendy with every intent of kissing her goodnight.

But Captain Hook threw Wendy away. Viciously, he hooked Peter's throat.

" _Worthless for love_." Captain Hook hissed. "And ten seconds to midnight. Ten seconds too late. Ten – nine –"

Peter was still. "Wendy?" he asked.

"Eight – seven –"

"Yes?" Wendy said.

Peter smiled. "In the morning – when we forget – "

"Six – Five – "

"—will you remember to kiss me?"

"Four – Three – "

Wendy touched her acorn necklace.

"Two – "

"No." Wendy said, crossing the distance and giving Peter Pan…

"—one."

… a kiss.

The countdown ticked close.

And Peter Pan exploded.

 _Nothing_ could contain him. Peter Pan was an atom bomb, a rocket ship, a supernova, he was _out of control_! The sky was too small and space was smaller still! Stars pinwheeled and the moon bounced over the sun as Peter screamed into the heavens!

So _that_ was a kiss!

Deliriously Peter spun. He crowed, turning somersaults in the air.

He had only two unhappy thoughts:

One, the kiss was over.

And two, it was past midnight. He would forget all about Wendy's magical ki –

 _Wait._

Peter screeched. Stardust fluffed under his heels.

 _He would forget? He WOULD forget?_

 _Would?_

Peter held out his hands, commanding everything to freeze. Ardently he tried to process.

Peter looked around. He determined the time. _It was midnight, wasn't it?_ Peter touched his ears. He wriggled his toes. _Yes. It must be. Both ears were pointed. Again he could fly. His magic had returned_. It was just as Mickey Mouse promised – _magic returns at midnight_.

Peter inspected his clothes. _No sneakers. No fedora. No suit. Just green, green, green._ It was just as Edna Mode promised – _real world outfits disintegrate at midnight._

Peter scratched his head. Then he dared; he dared to remember.

"Asking Wendy on a date…" Peter whispered, speaking faster and faster as the evening replayed, "…meeting Wendy's parents, Wendy in a dark blue dress, giving Wendy galaxy sneakers, losing my magic, understanding a kiss, running away from Captain Hook, a place called the mall, lazer tag, Frosties and fries, Flynn, Rapunzel, Merida, and Jim, playing on the playground, sliding down the slide, swinging on the swing, trying to kiss Wendy, kidnapped by Captain Hook, brought underground, forced through tunnels, villains breaking my nose, Wendy on a table, Wendy running across a plank, Wendy silently crying Wendy in a dungeon Wendy reading my mind Wendy understanding our first date, ten seconds to midnight, Wendy pushed away Wendy crossing to me Wendy very near Wendy leaning forward Wendy closing her eyes _Wendy giving Peter Pan a_ – !"

Peter dropped.

"I REMEMBER!" Peter yelled, pushing through the wind. "I REMEMBER! I REMEMBER! WENDY! _WE CAN REMEMBER_!"

Far below, four people heard Peter's cry.

"Remember?" Obliviously, Flynn and Rapunzel trotted home. "Ach! Peter Pan! Poor kid's gone loopy! Loopy as this video camera! Just appeared in my hand! Like magic! Rapunzel, did I steal this or did you?"

"Remember?" Ariel murmured as Eric escorted her to the mermaid grotto. "Gosh. I wonder what that guppy is talking about?"

"Remember?" Jim held his head. Slowly, he ran a hand through his hair. "The dates. Ariel. I…I remember too."

"Remember?" Wendy turned to the sky. Curiously she watched Peter Pan streak through the stars. "Remember what?"


	25. Chapter 25: Date Rape

**sultal's note: I know the title is explicit. Rape is a disgusting sin.** **I do not want to offend anyone with this title. Remember - it's just a story and Captain Hook is a dirty, rotten codfish.**

* * *

 **Chapter 25: Date Rape**

Well.

Saturday left and Sunday came. The Florida sun shown brilliantly as an orange, welcoming visitors to the happiest place on earth.

However, _Disney World_ had turned into _Zombie Land_. Figuratively, of course. The music was skipping. The balloons were wilting. The ice cream was melting. The "grey stuff" from _Beauty and the Beast_ tasted like hairspray (not delicious). The rides were malfunctioning. And the _Disney_ characters were _exhausted_!

The _Magic Kingdom's_ sparkle had completely dulled. But, no one knew why.

No one, that is, except the villains.

Unbeknownst to the heroines and heroes, _Disney World_ was infected with Maleficent's curse. Although the curse had served its original purpose to make the _Disney_ characters forget their dates, it still lingered. Curses were like that – they left a sour aftertaste.

The villains were incredibly amused. Maleficent's curse had caused so much unhappiness there was a record number of children whining " _I wanna go home_!" to frustrated parents. _See? Incredibly amusing!_

But when the sobbing children became too boring, the villains picked on their favorite targets: _the good guys_.

Oh it was Heaven! From Jiminy Cricket to Mickey Mouse, _none_ of the _Disney_ heroes remembered! They did not remember their dates or the previous night's events at all!

But that wasn't the best part.

The _Disney_ heroes were _exhausted_. Midnight is a late bedtime for a character that sings, dances, and takes cheesy photos with tourists from dawn to dusk, seven-days a week, 365 days a year.

So, the _Disney_ characters staggered about half-asleep and zonked like zombies. Although they _were_ exhausted and _did_ resemble the living dead, the characters were _infinitely_ more frustrated that they did not know _why_ …and that the villains seemed to know, or acted like they did.

"Wake up! Open those eyes! Goodness, my dear. Tell me. _What did you do last night_?"

Wendy jumped. Embarrassed that Captain Hook caught her dozing – again – she turned away.

"I went to bed." she replied testily. "Straight to bed."

It was a small lie. Wendy _did_ remember going _straight to bed_. But she could not account for the rest of the evening at all.

And the pirates seemed irritatingly aware.

"Straight to bed!" Captain Hook and Mr. Smee snickered into each other's arms.

"Straight to bed!" Mr. Smee clutched his belly. It jiggled with laughter. "She went straight to bed Capn! Dear me – it never gets old!"

"Indeed!" Captain Hook pretended to wipe a tear. "Indeed it does not!"

Wendy glared. This was the _hundredth_ time they had asked her that question. Wendy knew they were teasing her, and she was bothered. Clearly it was a secret joke between the pirates that became funnier with repetition.

Wendy rose. Unamused, she stalked away.

"Eh, eh, eh. Not so fast." Captain Hook intercepted. "Where do we think we are going, Little Miss Cotton Tail? To find Peter?"

Mr. Smee chuckled. Heartily he slapped his knee. "Good one, Capn! Merry ho!"

"Thank you Smee."

Wendy tried to pass. "You _know_ I can't see Peter with your hideous contract."

"Well. Then there is no reason to rush off." Captain Hook steered her to the _Pixie Hollow_ Exhibit. "Sit down."

Wendy twisted free. "I don't want – "

"Perhaps you didn't quite hear. I said _sit_ – " Captain Hook shoved. "— _down_!"

"Whoa. Dude!"

As Wendy landed, Jim Hawkins slid through the pirates. Todd and Stitch darted to either side as he settled on the park bench.

"Thanks for the invitation." Defiantly, Jim sat next to Wendy. Leaving no space between them, he signaled Todd and Stitch to fill the remaining seats. "Don't mind if I do."

Captain Hook regarded Jim.

"Dear me. A prince charming on the loose. How odd – for today. I quite thought all the heroes were off duty. They've been lumbering about like sleeping beauties." Captain Hook curled a lip. "You seemed extraordinarily _refreshed_."

Jim laid his arm across the bench. Wendy felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Slept in." he said. "Big night."

"Oooo really? Slept in? Big night?" Opportunistically, Mr. Smee tugged Captain Hook's justaucorps. He was eager to resume the joke. "May I ask 'im Capn? May I? May I? Please?"

Captain Hook peered suspiciously at Jim.

"Go on."

"Thank ye Capn! Eh hem. Now, boy. Tell me…" Wide-eyed and pursed-lipped, Mr. Smee beseeched Jim. " _What did you do last night_?"

Wendy clicked her tongue. The silliness had gone too far. But before she could scold the pirates, Jim spoke.

"Pathetic. You villains are _pathetic_. You gloat all day, asking the same freaking question, and get some sort of sick pleasure when no one can answer? Think you're evil? Well that's not evil – that's _gutless_."

Voice acidic, Jim leaned forward, practically repelling Captain Hook and Mr. Smee.

"You want to know what I did last night? Fine. _I'll tell you_. I ditched _Disney_ for the real world. I left with friends. I returned with Ariel. I had the _best freaking date of my life_ and _I_ _remember_ _every single god damn minute_."

Jim retracted. " _That_ is what I did last night. So _F-off_."

Unsurprisingly, Captain Hook and Mr. Smee recoiled. Slightly aghast and very impressed, Wendy considered following. Jim's temper was hardwired on a short fuse and there was a manic glint in his eyes.

"Um. Jim." Wendy carefully said. "Jim? Are you – "

"Sorry I'm late." Jim drummed his knuckles on the bench. Wendy looked down. His foot was speed tapping. "Couldn't find Peter at first. He was looking for Mickey Mouse. And I _did_ sleep in. _Was_ a big night. Damn it. Ariel…"

Angrily Jim shook his head. "Wish I _could_ forget."

Stitch crawled into Wendy's lap. Sympathetically she stroked his blue fur.

"Jim. You seem distressed."

"Good catch."

"Are – well. If there is anything I can do…?"

Stitch and Todd waited for Jim's apology. Presently they became impatient. Todd nudged Jim's elbow. Stitch whacked him aside the head.

"Okay!" Jim grabbed his rattail. Stitch had tried to gnaw it off. "Okay, I get it! Lay off! Wendy, I'm sorry. It's just – "

Jim blew his bangs.

"I mean – you've got Peter, right? You both remember. Ariel doesn't remember our date. And it sucks. It _just_ _sucks_."

Wendy frowned. "Peter and I? Remember?"

"Yeah. Your date."

"What's a date?"

"It's – " Jim stopped. He turned. "You – don't remember?"

Wendy looked at Stitch. Stitch shrugged. She returned to Jim. "Remember what?"

"But Pan – Pan said you – " Jim stared at Wendy, utterly flummoxed. "—Pan said you remembered. He said that after you ki – "

Suddenly Jim straightened. A light bulb cracked over his head.

"Wendy… What _did_ you do last night?"

"Oh Jim!" Wendy stomped. "That question? Not you too!"

"No." Jim searched Wendy's face. "No Wendy I'm serious, I'm dead serious. You need to tell me! And you need to tell me right now! _What did you do last night_?"

"Jim! I went to bed."

"And?"

"Well!" Wendy huffed. "After that I _slept_."

"That all?"

"Yes!"

"You _sure_?"

"Jim!"

"Damn it!" Jim leapt. He almost collided with Captain Hook. Swerving, he ran for the park.

"Damn it! Damn it! Stupid Peter – Stitch, Todd you two stay with Wendy. I'm going to find Pan. And Wendy – "

Hastily Jim backpedaled. Just as urgently, he gave one last directive.

"Wendy! Whatever you do – unless I say so – _don't_ meet Peter tonight! Don't let him into your house!"

Wendy was shocked. Bemused she shook her head.

"Whatever did he mean by that?"

"Alas. Boys will be boys. Especially Peter Pan and...and that _dreadful_ _incident_ last night." Captain Hook unsheathed his sword. Lazily he inspected his teeth. "Don't you agree, Mr. Smee?

Mr. Smee scratched his nose. "Pardon Capn? Peter Pan had an incide – "

Captain Hook flicked his sword. The tip _swicked_ Mr. Smee's spectacles.

"Oh. _Incident_. You mean _the_ incident _!_ "

Mr. Smee gulped. There was a scratch in his glass lens. "My apologies Capn. I em…didn't want to frighten the little miss."

"Frighten?" Wendy scowled. "Frightened about what? What incident? What lies are you telling now?"

Captain Hook turned. The sun was setting. Wendy could not see the smile inside his black silhouette.

"Lies?" Flaring his justaucorps, Captain Hook prepared to sit. He rose promptly as Todd growled and Stitch cursed in alien.

"Lies?" Captain Hook repeated, pacing around Wendy instead. "My dear. Remember your contract. I am here to protect you. Would I lie?"

"Would you flatter yourself?"

Captain Hook laughed.

"Well played, my dear. But bad form. Bad form as Peter Pan…" He paused directly behind her. "… _drugging_ a little girl."

Wendy's ears rang.

"…drugging?"

"Indeed." Captain Hook said. "Drugging. With pixie dust, I believe. Potent stuff. Very mysterious. Except perhaps…to Peter Pan. And his victim."

Wendy tried to remain rational. _Captain Hook was lying – he was a terrible lying pirate, after all._

"Peter would not do such a thing!" She informed him. "The idea! Why would he do that? Who on earth would he drug?"

Captain Hook stood before the setting sun.

"Who do you think? _Wendy_."

Wendy froze.

"Not…he wouldn't do that…to me."

"No?"

" _No_." Wendy squeezed Stitch. "No he would _not_. Peter is my friend –"

"I see." Captain Hook advanced. "Would a friend steal you from your bedroom in the middle of the night?"

"Peter did not steal me! I went – "

"Would a friend whisk you away to _Peter Pan's Flight_ – ?"

" – to protect me!"

" – and explore you as you slept?"

"Stop it!" Wendy covered her eyes, but she instantly remembered Peter hovering over her on _Peter Pan's Flight_. "It's untrue! It's untrue! _It is not true_!"

"Then why does Jim Hawkins forbid you to see Peter Pan? To let him into your house? Your nursery? Your room?"

Ignoring Todd and Stitch, Captain Hook knelt before Wendy. He spoke harshly, preventing her interruption.

"Why can't you remember last night? Why can you only remember going to bed? Why are you exhausted today, as if you've been tortured in your sleep? And why are your lips burning as if they've _kissed_ hot coals?"

Wendy touched her lips.

"How did you know – "

" _Everybody_ …" Captain Hook whispered. "… _knows_. Why do you think, you've heard the same silly question all day?"

Delicately, Captain Hook held Wendy's hand.

"Wendy. _What did you do last night_?"

Wendy stared. She was horrified, paralyzed, and unable to scream.

Finally she blurted. "I think I'm going to be sick!"

And she was. All over Captain Hook.

* * *

 **sultal's note: oh...and keep writing :)**


	26. Chapter 26: Kiss Da Girl

**Chapter 26: Kiss Da Girl**

"Peter! Peter! Peter Pan! HEY – "

Jim seized a green, red-feathered hat.

A woman shrieked. "That's my son!"

"—sorry!" Jim released a seven year old in costume. Dodging the boy's mother, he tore across _Fantasy Land_ for _Peter Pan's Flight_. "Have a _freaking_ magical day!"

 _Peter Pan's Flight_ was packed. Even though it was one of the oldest attractions it was still a _Disney_ _World_ favorite.

Jim wasted three seconds trying to push through the waiting line before abandoning it as a bad idea. If Peter was inside, he'd never find him. There were too many sugar-high kids in the queue.

"God damn it." Helplessly Jim scanned the park. The sun was setting. _Disney_ characters would be drifting home soon. And if he couldn't find Peter before Peter found Wendy…

"He's going to scare the living daylights right out of her."

Jim continued at a jog, just for the sake of moving. All the while, he tried to think. "But what the Hell? Why _can't_ Wendy remember? Pan does. They shared _true love's kiss_. I _saw_ it. Pan _remembers_ it. So why…?"

Jim stopped. He had a terrible thought.

"What if it wasn't true love? Like me and – "

Jim swallowed. "—Ariel. True love for me. Not for her. Er – Eric is Ariel's true love. And if true love is the most magical thing…it helped me remember. But not...Ariel."

The sun set across _Cinderella's Castle_. Jim blinked. Peter had been looking for Mickey Mouse. Mickey was usually in the castle.

Jim ran. Panting, he continued to reason aloud.

"Peter and Wendy kissed – Peter remembers – Wendy forgets – So – it's true love for Peter— But not – "

Hands on his knees, Jim paused for breath at _Cinderella's Castle_. After a second rest, he charged up the steps.

"—but not Wendy – for her – it wasn't – true love's kiss – _Damn it_!"

Jim pound the castle doors.

"Peter's gonna _flip_! Hey! Open up in there! Open up! I'm looking for Peter Pan! Open –"

"Jim?"

The door opened. Merida hopped through.

"Jim!" Ecstatically Merida pointed to her hair. It was neon orange (more than usual) and smelled like pumpkin spice. "Jim! Guess what! I don't remember how – but someone turned me into a pumpkin! Merlin and Mickey jus' changed me back! It was _great_!"

Jim scoffed. "You _would_ break curfew!"

"Curfew? Huh?"

"Never mind. You busy?"

"No."

"Good." Jim pulled her down the steps. "Then help me find Peter Pan. Long story short – Peter and Wendy kissed, Wendy doesn't remember, and now Peter's going to try and kiss her again."

"Okay!" said Merida, kicking up the pace. "Let's try the _Mermaid Lagoon_! _Ariel's Grotto_! Peter liked those mermaids in the movie, yeah? So come on! Keep up ye sod!"

Jim had to admire her. Merida embodied the spirit of her arrows – she was direct, to the point, cut to the chase, and always knew her target. All someone had to do was mention _adventure_ , and Merida flew forward.

 _Yeah. Merida was pretty freaking cool._

Sardonically, Jim snorted. "It's a shame I don't find you more attractive."

"A shame ye dinnea _what_?"

"Inside joke." Jim said. Clearly Merida did not remember their fake date. "Had to be there."

They reached _Ariel's Grotto_ as the sun set. In sharp contrast to _Peter Pan's Flight_ , _Ariel's Grotto_ was one of the newer _Disney World_ attractions. Inspired by Ariel's _real_ undersea grotto, the meet-and-greet area was decorated with starfish, waterfalls, and luminous lights. Visitors met Ariel in a coral cave before entering Prince Eric's castle and eating at his overpriced restaurant.

"Hey!" Jim flagged a pod of mermaids. "Any of you seen Peter Pan?"

The mermaids giggled.

"Bimbos." Merida grumbled. "Lemmie try. Oi! Fish sticks! Any o' ye seen Peter Pan?"

Miraculously, the mermaid seemed to understand the second time.

"You _don't_ have to be rude!" said a blonde mermaid.

"But you _should_ consider hair gel." added a brunette. "Or shaving it all off."

"We saw a boy on the other side." Arista, Ariel's fifth sister, offered. "Why don't you try over there?"

"And get away from here!" Adella, Ariel's third sister, pinched her nose. "You smell like a jack-o-lantern!"

"Shoo!" said the brunette.

"Shoo!" said the blonde.

Merida notched an arrow.

Jim lowered the bow. "Come on."

"Jus' _one_ shot?" she begged.

Jim plowed across the grotto. "Maybe on the way back. Come on, around this way – we'll check out the other side. If that _boy_ isn't Peter, then we'll just head to Wendy's house and stop him before he – "

Jim back-stepped, ramming in to Merida. Merida's quiver slipped and arrows scattered across the coral rock.

"Hey!" she stooped. "Watch it, will ye!? Robin Hood made these fer me! What are ye gawkin' at?"

Jim did not speak, but his fists were shaking. Curiously, Merida peered around his legs.

"Jim, what's the – oh. Ohhhhhh, _oh_." Merida whistled low. " _Loch-ness_ -Monster."

They had found the _boy_ described by the mermaids. But it was not Peter Pan.

It was Prince Eric. Prince Eric was hidden behind a waterfall. And he was kissing the red-haired Neverland mermaid from _Mermaid Lagoon_.

Merida scratched her arrow against Jim's thigh.

"How's _now_ for that _one shot_?"

Jim growled. "I'll take it."

Placidly, Merida nodded. Resting on her haunches she watched as Jim tore Prince Eric from the waterfall and barked at the wailing maid. Jim was mad. Jim was ruthless. And he was almost breathing fire.

"Ye know…" Merida sighed. "Itsa shame I dinnea find him more attractive."

"What is – what is this?" Prince Eric twisted from Jim. "Unhand me! Get your hands off! What is the meaning of – "

"It's cheating!" Jim pushed. Prince Eric stumbled, startled by Jim's hostility.

"What do you – "

"It's cheating!" Jim blocked Prince Eric's escape. He was shorter than Eric, but equally as rugged and infinitely enraged. "It's cheating! It's cheating! It is SO called CHEATING! You are cheating on Ariel with that cheap, two bit – "

"— _excuse me_ , Dearie?" the redhead mermaid snarled.

"— witch! _She's_ nothing compared to Ariel! _You're_ nothing compared to Ariel! Ariel is genuine, and energetic, and open and – "

"And not a good princess!" Prince Eric had regained his composure. Self-assured, he countered Jim's accusations. "She is a haywire, unfocused daydreamer! That was fine when she was obsessed with humankind, but Ariel is a princess now! She _is_ human! And she can't keep acting like a little mermaid!"

Jim seethed. "You know nothing about Ariel!"

"I know she hasn't changed." Prince Eric glanced to the redhead mermaid. "And I know our 'true love' is forged. Fictitious. Pretend."

"What?!" Jim said. "How can you say that? How can you _say_ that? Ariel is incredible! If you just took a _second_ to look _past the princess,_ you'd see! Did you know she hates sushi?"

"She's a mermaid! She doesn't hate sushi – "

"Did you know she likes to watch the moon?"

"She's a _mermaid_! She likes the sea – "

"Did you know she listens to folk metal?" Jim started to shout. He felt his heart splitting at the seams.

"Did you know she likes 80s fashion? Did you know she likes cover bands? Did you know she twists her hair when she's shy? Did you know her favorite _Phantom of the Opera Song_ is _Think of Me_ and that she can sing every single god damn word? Did you know she kisses like an angel with a little devil bite? Did you know that? DID YOU KNOW THAT?"

"He didn't." said a soft voice. "But how did you?"

Jim turned. Ariel was standing behind him. Scuttle, Sebastian, and Flounder were in her arms.

"Ariel. Sweetheart." Prince Eric cleared his throat. "Sweetheart. I – "

"Get out."

"Ariel." Prince Eric protested. He tried to sound authoritative. "Ariel, now be – "

" _Get out_. And – " Ariel glared at the redhead mermaid. "—take her with you."

The opportunity was priceless. Merida jabbed her arrow in the redhead's scaly backside. "Go fish!"

The redhead squeaked. Insulted, she waddled away.

Eric followed. He paused between Ariel and Jim.

"You want to be part of his world, do you?"

Ariel lifted her chin. "Either way….I don't want to be part of yours."

Scuttle, Sebastian, and Flounder gave praise.

"Get goin'!" Sebastian chased Prince Eric from the grotto. "And don't come back Mister!"

"Atta way to shamoo that dinglehopper, Sweetie!" Scuttle applauded.

"Good job, Ariel!" said Flounder. "Way to go! Areil? Ariel, you okay?"

Ariel rubbed her eyes. She waited, letting the emotions surge through her like a tidal wave.

Then, she looked at Jim.

"Kiss me."

Jim withdrew. "What?"

"Kiss me." Ariel commanded. "Kiss me right now."

"Ariel – " Jim stammered as Ariel cornered him against the waterfall. "—Ariel. You and Eric – "

"He doesn't love me."

"Ariel – "

"And I don't love him."

"Ariel – I can't – "

"You know _everything_ about me."

"Ariel – "

"So come on Jim Hawkins." Ariel leaned into the waterfall. "Kiss me."

"Smooch her already!" Scuttle squawked.

"Hurry!" Flounder urged.

"Go on…" Sebastian said. "…kiss da girl."

Jim trembled. The waterfall showered over his shoulders. Then without breathing, he gave Ariel a kiss.

Ariel smiled. When Jim withdrew, she licked her lips, savoring the feeling.

"Okay. That was nice. But _this_ time…" Ariel stroked his lower lip. "… _kiss me like you mean it_."

Jim stared. Then drawing Ariel under the waterfall, he kissed her like he meant it.

For ten minutes.

It would have lasted longer – perhaps forever – but Merida got bored.

"Oi!" Merida rapped her bow. "Oi! Jim! Yer not a mermaid! Come up for air! Breath!"

Jim opened his eyes. Ariel giggled into his chest.

"Wow. Uh. Wow." Jim managed to speak. "Do you remember anything? Last night?"

Ariel shook her head. Laughing, she ducked from the waterfall. "I'll remember _that_!"

"So will I."

"Ack! So will I!" Joining them, Merida swiped an arrow through the waterfall. "Don't ye think that was _unnecessarily_ _romantic_? Justa wee bit? Yer both soppin' wet! And I thought we were on a quest te save Wendy and Peter, or Wendy _from_ Peter, or _Peter_ from Peter! Or who knows by this point!"

"Quest? Wendy and Peter?" Ariel asked. "What quest? What's up? What's wrong?"

"Accordin' te Jim," Merida said (Jim was still a bit breathless). "Peter's goin' te try and kiss Wendy."

"Really? Gosh. Won't that kinda freak Wendy out?"

Merida lifted her hands. "Hence the quest."

"Oh, right. But…" Ariel frowned. "…this doesn't make sense. Didn't you see the movie, _Peter Pan_? They're both just kids. And Peter is kinda…well… _When_ did Peter find out how to kiss?"

They looked at Jim.

"Oh god." Jim shook his head. "You are going to think I'm crazy."

"Go on!" Merida winked. "We already do!"

"She's right." said Ariel. "But as the Wonderlanders say – _we're all mad here_."

Jim grimaced. He hated that movie. Ariel smirked as if she already knew.

"Okay." Jim began. "Well first, we all went on dates. And you two can't remember because –"

The girls spoke simultaneously.

"What's a date?"

Jim stopped.

"Okay." he motioned to the exit. "We'll walk and talk. It's late. We've got to get to Wendy's house. And I think…."

Suddenly Jim snapped. "It think we need back up! Come on!"

"Back up?" Merida gathered her bow. "Back up? Back up from who?"

"The video-camera!" Jim called. "Rapunzel! Flynn!"

"Flynn?" Groaning, Merida trudged from _Ariel's Grotto_. "Flynn Rider? Ach. Do we HAVE to?"


	27. Chapter 27:You Must Remember This --

**Chapter 27: You Must Remember This...**

" _A lovely night! A lovely night! A finer night you know you'll never see! You meet your prince!_ Oooo _! A charming prince!_ Ahhh _! As charming as a prince will ever be_!"

Yes. Rapunzel was singing in the shower.

And Flynn was under strict surveillance from her parents.

Flynn was also flanked by Rapunzel's psycho sidekicks Pascal and Maximus. Currently the chameleon and horse were attempting the animal version of good-cop-bad-cop, and it was the most unintimidating performance Flynn had ever seen.

Now, Flynn would never accuse Rapunzel's parents of being overbearing. They were no Mother Gothel (thank goodness)! _But_ , they were protective. True, they were also kind, supportive, welcoming, and crazy competitive board-game enthusiasts but ultra-protective.

So when Rapunzel was singing away in the shower, Flynn's butt was parked four ways between Maximus, Pascal, and Mr. and Mrs. _Gleam and Glow_. It was definitely crowded, but not unpleasant. After all, Mr. Gleam and Glow had kindled a fire, and Mrs. Gleam and Glow had baked cookies.

"Gingersnaps!" Flynn toasted the cookie at Rapunzel's mother. "My favorite! Yum! _Tre tre debonair_!"

Rapunzel's mother smiled appreciatively. Sweetly, she offered the plate to her husband, Maximus, and Pascal. Flynn reached for the last cookie, but Maximus slurped it whole.

The shower switched off. Tub water drained as Rapunzel continued to sing.

" _The stars in a hazy heaven! Trrrrrrremble above you! While he is whispering_ \- " she deepened her voice. "- _Darling, I love you_!"

Flynn jabbed his thumb at the bathroom.

"She's got a great set of pipes huh?"

Maximus whinnied. Pascal scuttled angrily for Flynn's boot.

"Her voice!" Flynn scooched up his chair. Maximus was a bully, but Pascal just creeped Flynn out. "Her voice, I meant her voice! Down frog! Down frog! Get your mind out of the gutter! Rapunzel has a great voice!"

"Thank youuuuuuu!" Rapunzel sang from the bathroom.

"You're welcome!" Flynn sung nervously back. "Tell the frog to leave me alone!"

"He's a chameleon!"

"Nuance! Please just send him back to the bog from whence he cammmme!"

Rapunzel laughed. There was a huge _flop_ as she dropped her hair on the floor.

"Pascale! Stop picking on Flynn! Mother? Mother could you help dry my hair?"

Apologetically, Rapunzel's mother excused herself to Flynn.

"S'all good Mom!" Flynn waved. "Without your help Rapunzel will be in there forever, and we've got plans for movie night! I'll just stay here with Mr. Gleam and Glow! He was gonna teach me to play chess!"

Flynn was not overly excited to learn chess. However, it turned out to be the perfect pastime. The seven blow-driers used to dry Rapunzel's hair made conversation impossible. It was much too loud, even for shouting. But Rapunzel's father was a quiet sort anyway, and small talk would have been awkward.

So, rather than force a one-sided conversation, the men played chess. Flynn pretended that he understood the rules, and Rapunzel's father pretended not to notice. The game turned into checkers, and Rapunzel's father won with a quadruple-double-diagonal jump sequence.

"Mr. Gleam and Glow!" Flynn raised a high five. "You are a chess assassin!"

Rapunzel's father smiled. Gently, he accepted Flynn's high five.

"Eugene!" Rapunzel, her hair dried and pigtailed, danced into the room. "Eugene! What did Mother and I tell you?"

Rapunzel hugged her father's neck.

"You can call him Dad!"

Flynn smiled enthusiastically at Rapunzel. Then, furtively, he met her father's eye.

"Mr. Gleam and Glow?" he confirmed.

Rapunzel's father nodded.

"Thaaat's what I thought." Flynn said. He knew better than to mess with Papa Bear. After all, it was in The Bro Code. _Bro Code Number 903: A bro shall never call his father-in-law 'Dad' unless he wants to be shot like a dog and fed to the cat._

"Thanks for drying my hair Mother!" Rapunzel skipped to Flynn's chair. "Eugene, did you and Father have fun?"

"Yup!" Flynn said. "I won in chess!"

"Oh?" Rapunzel winked at her father. "Good for you, Eugene! Are you ready for movie night?"

"Sure am!" Flynn produced a videotape from his satchel. "Mom! Mr. Gleam and Glow! Get a load of this! You see, originally Rapunzel and I were going to watch a sappy chic flick - "

" _Cinderella_!" Rapunzel corrected, shower song still in her head. "The 1957 musical version with Julie Andrews! We were going to dance and sing along - "

"Except I don't sing." Flynn clarified.

"-When Flynn found this magical videotape inside a magical video-camera!"

Rapunzel showed her parents the tape. "See! It just appeared last night! And you see the inscription on it? Written in permanent marker? It says - "

"-It says ' _Watch Me Stupid. Love Flynn_.'" Flynn finished, ignoring Maximus and Pascale's sniggers. " _Obviously_ one of my adoring fans. So we're going to watch the magical videotape instead. Hey! Mom? Mr. Gleam and Glow? You wanna watch with?"

Mr. and Mrs. Gleam and Glow graciously refused. However, they set another log in the fire and popcorn on the couch before retiring to bed.

"Okay..." Flynn prepared the videotape. "Geeze who uses a VCR player anymore? This this is ancient. Ummmmmm okay! I think it's ready to play. Blondie, you ready?"

" _You sayyyyy goodbye_!" Rapunzel bounced on the couch, finishing her shower song. The _Cinderella_ musical was addictive and Rapunzel was feeling flirtatious.

Coquettishly she sang at Flynn. " _Awayyyy you fly! But on your lips you keep a_ _KISS_..."

Pausing, Rapunzel grinned hopefully at Flynn. She squealed as he acquiesced. Maximus and Pascal looked politely away until the smoochy noises were replaced with Rapunzel's last lyric.

" _All your life you'll dream of this!_ OhEugene _! Lovely! Lovely night_!"

"Okay Cinderella!" Flynn clicked the remote. Cuddling between the popcorn, they waited for the video to play. "Hope this isn't boring."

Obviously, the video of their _first date_ was not boring. Rapunzel and Flynn were flabbergasted after the first three seconds. But by the end, Rapunzel was love-struck and Flynn was skeptical.

"It's a sham!" Flynn threw a pillow at the TV. "Rapunzel it's a fake! A phony! This is a cosplay video made by people with no lives!"

"This is SO sad!" Rapunzel, Pascal, and Maximus huddled beneath the television. "Look! Oh loooook! We're at the _Magic Kingdom_ gates! Oh no Flynn! We're going to forget! This is so sad!"

"Yeah _sad_ is the right word!"

"Shhhh! I can't hear! Look! Flynn it's you!"

" _In conclusion_!" the video-Flynn reported. " _To Future Rapunzel and Future Flynn: everything on this videotape is true!_ "

"Ha!" Flynn said to his video self. "This is a joke!"

" _This is not a joke_!" video-Flynn said.

"This is a prank!"

" _This is not a prank!"_ video Flynn responded.

Flynn brandished a fist of popcorn. "You freaks are stunt doubles!"

 _"And we are not stunt doubles!"_ video-Flynn beamed.

Flynn tossed the bowl. Exasperated he face-planted a pillow as the video played.

 _"Rapunzel and I had our first date! And in exactly five minutes we will forget everything. So Future Rapunzel and Future Flynn, it is your job to remember this night! It was the best date ever. The best date ever...with the best girl ever."_

"Ohhh!" Rapunzel gushed with her video-self. "Eugene!"

Flynn peeked from his pillow. _This video-Flynn was witty with startling romantic sensitivity and a Greek-god-like nose. That was an impossible combination of virtues to pull off - unless you were Flynn Rider or just incredibly awesome._

Flynn peered. _Perhaps...COULD this be him?_ Suspiciously, he watched the video scene.

Video-Flynn turned to video-Rapunzel. He looked into her eyes. As he spoke, shivers filled the room.

 _"I'm crazy about her, Future Flynn. So get remembering. Or find someone that can. Remember...Bro Code Number 111."_

"Sweet Mama!" Flynn catapulted off the couch. "Rapunzel! He said _The Bro Code 111_! _The Bro Code 111: A bro is obligated to believe a bro across IMPOSSIBILITY, SPACE, and TIME_! RAPUNZEL!"

Flynn gasped. " _IT'S US_!"

They were enraptured. Spellbound, they watched their first date unwind to the end.

"AH! True love's kiss!" Rapunzel strangled Flynn in her excitement. "Look! Look! We're going to share true love's kiss!"

"What! True love's kiss?" Flynn punched the remote. "Turn up the volume! Volume up! Oh this is _so_ going on my YouTube channel!"

"What?"

"Er - _I uh - kiss as good as a camel_! Watch! Watch!"

Flynn and Rapunzel squeezed each other. They tensed with each moment.

"Going innnn..." narrated Flynn, "Eyes closing, lips pooching, coming in for a landing and - "

The image switched.

"- WHAT?"

"Eugene!" Rapunzel exclaimed. She sagged as the video spun anticlimactically from their true love's kiss. Instead, the image turned upside-down on separate _Disney_ couples. "Eugene! What happened!?"

"Camera must have flipped!" Flynn shielded himself as Maximus ejected popcorn kernels from his snout. "It's not my fault! It was true love's kiss! Those things are powerful!"

"Eugene - "

"True love's kiss is like a nose full of wasabi!"

"Eugene - "

"How can I be expected to videotape with a nose full of wasabi?!"

"Eugene!" Rapunzel pointed to the television screen. "Look!"

Flynn stuck his tongue at Maximus. Disgruntled, he returned the screen.

"What? What could be more important than our true love's kiss?"

Rapunzel clicked pause. The image froze.

"These." Rapunzel circled two upside-down couples. "Jim and Ariel. Peter and Wendy. _Their_ true love's kiss."

Authoritatively, Pascal nodded.

Flynn and Maximus gawked. They tilted their heads. Their mouths dropped.

"Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Flynn finally said. "That's not legal."

"Well." Rapunzel clicked play. "It looks like it happened. And it sounds like..."

Rapunzel pressed her ear to the speaker. Pascal did the same. As the video blackened, voices droned sluggishly out of synch.

"Yup." Rapunzel and Pascal agreed. "It sounds like Peter and Jim _remember_."

Maximus closed Flynn's mouth as they waited for him to process.

"Eugene?" Rapunzel prompted. "Say something? Little words are good first steps."

Flynn lifted two fingers.

"Two things. First: is there any more popcorn?"

Rapunzel looked at the bowl. "No."

"Solid. Okay. Second." Flynn popped up. "We've gotta find Peter and Jim! They remember! They can tell us if this first date thing is true! And _if_ it _is_ true, how come they _can_ remember and we _can't_! Rapunzel! Baby!"

Flynn thrust out his hand. "You with me?"

"Let's go!" Rapunzel cheered. "Who do we find first?"

"Easy!" Flynn bunched Rapunzel's hair so she wouldn't trip. Together they fled the tower. "The Panster. He's probably hanging around Wendy's window!"


	28. Chapter 28: -- A Kiss is Just a Kiss

**Chapter 28: … A Kiss is Just a Kiss**

"Let's check that temperature. Nana, the thermometer please? Thank you. Hmmm? Ninety-eight degrees. Right on the dot. Cool as a cucumber. Well…"

Mrs. Darling felt Wendy's forehead. Slightly, she frowned.

Wendy was curled in the canapé, arms in her stomach and tears in her eyes. Captain Hook had escorted her home – dear man – with a report of nausea and the faint odor of…well... _expulsion_ on his justaucorps.

As Mrs. Darling thanked Captain Hook, Nana had promptly set Wendy upon the canapé to have her temperature read. When the thermometer read normal, Nana was unalarmed. Dutifully, she returned to the bath where John and Michael were supposed to be washing for supper.

But Mrs. Darling was wiser. _Thermometer indeed! Normal temperature poppycock!_ Mrs. Darling would champion her motherly instinct over any medical device. Wendy was unwell. Terribly unwell.

Mrs. Darling smoothed Wendy's hair.

"What is the matter my darling? My, but you do look pale. And your cheeks. Red as roses. Was today very trying?"

Wendy nodded. The effort seemed enormous.

"I shouldn't wonder." Mrs. Darling mused. "Out in the sunshine from morning to night. Did you wear your sunscreen?"

"Mhm."

"Did you take Nana's morning tonic?"

"Mhm."

"Well…" Mrs. Darling rubbed Wendy's tummy. "…I know you ate your lunch. I saw it all over poor Captain Hook."

Wendy whimpered. It was her closest attempt to a laugh.

Mrs. Darling smiled. Pensively, she touched Wendy's brow.

"You look awfully tired. Did you sleep poorly last night?"

Wendy clenched her stomach.

"Mother?" She spoke so softly Mrs. Darling lowered an ear.

"What is it my darling? Tell Mummy. What's wrong?"

Wendy inhaled. Her breath rattled. "What did I do last night?"

Mrs. Darling blinked. It seemed a curious question.

"Well my darling. As I recall, you went straight to bed."

"Did…was the door shut?"

"I believe."

"L…locked?"

"I _shouldn't_ think so. You know Father's rule about _not_ locking the door. Especially after that dreadful night he spent in the doghouse."

On cue, Nana crossed the carpet enroute for fresh linens. Michael and John's protests echoed from the bath.

Wendy watched Nana depart. "Did Nana see anyone? Come in? When we were asleep?"

"Wendy!" Mrs. Darling exclaimed. "My darling! I believe you had a nightmare. Was that it? Did a bad dream keep you awake?"

"I…" Wendy held her temple. "I can't – remember. I can't remember!" She pressed harder, probing for the memories. "I can't remember and I can't make it better! I can't make it go away!"

"Make what better? Make what go away?"

"Just – _everything_! Inside my head!" Wendy cried into the cushions. "I keep thinking, I keep _on_ thinking, I _can't stop_ thinking!"

"Oh. Oh, oh." Mrs. Darling rose. "My darling. Come here."

Mrs. Darling gathered Wendy into her arms. She rocked gently, letting her daughter cry inside the safety of a loving embrace.

"Shhh. Shhh." Mrs. Darling said. "I'm here. I have you. Everything is all right."

Wendy shook her head, denying her mother's reassurance. Everything was not all right. The _truth_ , the _possibility_ that Peter had hurt her, was eating Wendy alive.

She prayed it was untrue. She prayed to forget. She prayed her mother's kiss would make it magically heal. But she could not disprove Captain Hook's allegations. Every preceding event – her parent's forbiddance to see Peter, Peter's furtive intentions on _Peter Pan's Flight_ , Jim's warning, her exhaustion, her lost memory, her burning lips – all snarled into a single accusation: that Peter Pan had harmed Wendy in her sleep.

For any girl, that idea is terrifying.

But for a little girl afraid to give her hero his first kiss, that idea was _unbearable_.

Wendy could not tell her mother. It was too disgusting.

"Mother?" Wendy whispered.

"Yes my darling?" Mrs. Darling whispered back.

"...if I did something bad...would you love me?"

Reader, I do not have children. But I've been told that when a child asks this question, it breaks your heart. Because when you care unconditionally, _love_ should never be a question.

"Wendy…" Mrs. Darling lowered Wendy onto the canapé. Floating like a guardian angel, she gently gave a kiss.

"My darling. That's what mothers are for."

Touch almost invisible, she brushed Wendy's tears and closed her eyes.

"Rest, my darling." Mrs. Darling soothed. "Have a light sleep. I'll call you for supper."

Mrs. Darling waited, stroking Wendy's hair until her breathing slowed. Then, requesting Nana draw a quilt, Mrs. Darling eased away.

"Thank you Nana." Wendy breathed into the quilt. It was heavy, warm, and she was so tired.

"I just want to sleep." Wendy begged her unhappy thoughts not to become nightmares. "Just for a moment. I just want to sleep. I just want…to forget…"

Wendy sunk into sleep. And she did forget.

But then the doorbell rang – twenty six times.

"Goooooooooooooooooooooooood evening!"

Wendy jerked awake. _Peter._

Irrationally Wendy curled under the quilt, trying to disappear. Heart throbbing she listened as Peter announced himself to the Darlings.

"Hi everybody! Hi Nana! Whup don't bite me – bad nursemaid! Oh! Hullo Wendy's Mother!"

"Why! Goodness!" Mrs. Darling called over Nana's barking. "Goodness! George! George it's – "

"Peter Pan!" Peter sang. "Hullo, hullo! You don't remember – but you invited me to dinner!"

"I—?"

"So here I am!" Peter continued. Wendy heard a bustle down the hall. "Here and ready to eat! Oh! And I brought appetizers! Here –! "

Mrs. Darling gasped.

" – Ice-cream sandwiches!" Peter announced. "Eight! One for everyone and two for Nana – since she can't have my shadow. So there you go! Oh – sorry they're a little drippy. A _lot_ drippy…"

Footsteps slapped from the bathroom.

"Peter!" cheered Michael and John. "Peter Pan!"

"Hiya men! I'm here for dinner!"

"Jolly good!" said John.

"Yay! Sit next to me!" Michael said.

"Mary!" Mr. Darling boomed. "Is that Peter? Peter Pan? The riff-raff-street-rat – "

"Hullo Wendy's Father! Here, Sir! _Put-er there_! _Shake_!"

"Good lord!" Mr. Darling stuttered as if Peter were shaking his entire body. "Boy what do you think you're – "

"These are for you!"

There was a crackle of plastic wrap.

"Your favorite cigars!" Peter declared. "And these are for you, Wendy's Mother! Flowers for your vase! And John and Michael – men – these are for you! I found them in the trash – "

"What?" exclaimed Mr. and Mrs. Darling.

"Just kidding!" Peter said. "I got them from the candy counter! I even got a bone shaped one for Nana!"

Nana _ruffed_. She was impressed.

"So!" Peter gushed. He sounded outrageously peppy. "So cigars, flowers, candy, ice cream sandwiches and _WHAT DO YOU KNOW -_ I'm not so bad after all, huh?! Good, now that THAT'S all taken care of - where is Wendy and when do we eat?"

It was clear from the silence that the Darlings were completely baffled.

"I'll…" Mrs. Darling stammered. "…set another plate?"

"Mary!" Mr. Darling hissed at his wife. "Might I have a word? In the den?"

"George! If the young man _says_ we invited him –"

"Mary! The den! _If you please_!"

"Oh dear. Boys. Finish washing for supper. Peter – its Peter isn't it? Thank you for the...well.. _appetizers_. I'll set them in the ice box. Nana will prepare your table things."

"Great!" Peter applauded with Michael and John. "Great! Okay Men! Where's Wendy?"

"Sleeping!" said Michael. "She's sleepy!"

"Where?"

"In the parlor." John informed him. "But take heed, Pan! She's fast asleep!"

"Naw." Footsteps approached. "She's probably awake and listening to the whole thing!"

Wendy's stomach lurched. But before she could feign sleeping, Peter lifted the quilt.

He peeked under. For a moment he merely looked at her. Then he smiled.

"Hi."

Immediately Wendy noticed. _Immediately_.

Peter _looked_ at her differently. But it wasn't the expression or direction of his gaze; it was the _intensity_. It was as if Peter had entered a treasure trove, but his eyes flew _instantly_ to the one prize he wanted.

Peter knelt. Jokingly, he draped the quilt over his head.

"Watcha doin, sleepy girl?"

Quickly, Wendy rose. She moved to the opposite edge. Peter invited himself to her side. Electric and buzzing with energy, he scooched until there wasn't space between them.

"Hey!" Excitedly, Peter stretched a finger towards her lips. "Wendy your – "

Wendy stood, wrapped in the quilt. Diligently Peter rose. Wendy retreated and ecstatically Peter followed, always within immediate reach.

Wendy panicked. Peter approached her so naturally, so confidently, so smugly, as if…as if he _owned_ her.

Stumbling over the quilt, she made for the stairwell.

Peter blocked her path. Wendy receded and Peter followed.

"Hey! Did you get a load of that!?" Slyly Peter covered a laugh. "Your parents don't remember I was here last night!"

Wendy froze.

"You – " she swallowed. Her throat was dry. "—were here?"

"Ohhhh yes!" Peter winked. " Oh what a night, huh?"

"…why?"

"Huh? Speak up, I couldn't hear! You know, for the girl that talks too much you are sure acting kinda quiet – "

"Why were you here?" Wendy demanded. She backed for the door, heart pounding. "Tell me. Why?"

"I was here for you." Peter frowned, suddenly noticing Wendy's strange behavior. "Hey. Wendy….you feeling okay? Are you ill? You look – "

Peter felt her forehead. He was surprised when Wendy shirked away.

"Please." Wendy closed her eyes. A tear fell. "Don't touch me."

"Don't…?" Peter's chest started to hurt. "Wendy _why_? You – you let me last night."

Peter never forgot the way Wendy looked at him. Heartbroken. Heartbroken as if he had shoved a dagger into her stomach and twisted until she screamed.

She looked at Peter as if he were a monster.

Wendy turned. And she opened the door.

"Go."

Peter stared. He shook his head.

"What? Wen – "

"Go."

"Wendy what's – "

" _Just_ –" Wendy wept. She covered her eyes. " _Go_."

Peter watched Wendy cry. She was shaking, forehead against the door.

She wouldn't look at him.

"No." Peter stood behind. Taking Wendy's shoulders, he forced her around. "No, this isn't right. Here. Let me help. I can make you happy."

"No stop touching – "

"—like you did for me. Last night."

"I didn't – I didn't – " Wendy struggled. "—just let me go – "

"Wendy Bird. It's okay." Peter cupped Wendy's chin. He dropped to her lips. "I'll just give you a kiss–"

" _Stop it_!"

Wendy ripped away.

Peter caught her.

"Wendy." Desperately he held her face. "Wendy what's wrong? Tell me, what's wrong?"

Wendy sobbed, pulling Peter's arms. "I don't know what you're doing! I don't know what you're doing just let me go!"

"Doing? It's a kiss! Like last night! Remember?"

"Just stop – I can't remember! I can't remember! Let me go, please let me go!"

"Wendy!" Peter wrenched, forcing her gaze. "You remember, you _have_ to remember! _Wendy_ – _you gave me a kiss_!"

"I lied!" Blindly, Wendy yanked off her acorn necklace. "I didn't give you a kiss! I lied, this is not a kiss! Just take it! Take it back!"

"I know that's not a kiss!" Peter drove Wendy against the door. Wendy's head slammed as he seized her jaw. "I know that's not a kiss because we went on our second date! I know that's not a kiss because you said _you_ ache for me, just like _I_ ache for you! I know that's not a kiss because you know everything about me and I know everything about you! _I know that's not a kiss because you gave me my first_! And I'm – "

Peter dropped.

"—going to give you yours!"

"NO! DON'T KISS HER!"

"PAN!"

"PETER!"

"What's going on out there? Mary! Mary! Where's Wendy? Where's that boy?"

The moment detonated. The pieces broke apart.

Jim wrestled Peter from Wendy, saving her from his kiss.

Wendy ran from Merida and Ariel. She covered her nursery window, and cried inside the darkest shadow she could find.

Mr. and Mrs. Darling banished Peter from their home, evermore convinced that he was a riff—raff—street—rat.

Rapunzel and Flynn appeared, dismayed by the horrible aftermath.

Peter screamed, helpless to avenge whatever sin he had committed.

"FINE! FINE!" Breaking the silver chain, Peter threw Wendy's thimble necklace at the Darling's door. "I DON'T WANT YOUR KISS!"

And Captain Hook, utterly delighted, watched.

* * *

 **sultal's note: Fiona (guest) I will try so, SO hard to update for you! Thanks for the shout out and the request!**

 **AngelaLove072101: Your comment " _In your FACES villains_ " literally had me rolling on the floor laughing! I will PROBABLY use that quote in one of the last chapters if that's okay! (obs, giving you credit)!**


	29. Chapter 29: At Last I See The Light

**Chapter 29: At Last I See The Light**

"Pan! CALM DOWN! You scared her! You just scared her! It's not her fault, she doesn't remember –"

"YES SHE DOES!"

Peter attacked. Half-flying he propelled Jim into the pavement. Jim's hands snapped apart as he hit, freeing Peter to fly at Wendy's nursery window.

"Don'!" Jim reached, "Don't let him – "

"Peter!" Merida slung an arrow, but Rapunzel reacted first. Swinging her hair, she lassoed Peter before he left the ground.

"Hey!" Flynn yelled as Peter rolled over Rapunzel's hair. "Hey! People! We got a tape!"

No one listened, especially Peter. Ankles tangled in hair, he charged for the Darling's door.

"She gave me a kiss! She remembers!"

"Pan!" Jim hugged Peter's middle. "Wendy doesn't remember!"

"Yes she does!"

"No she doesn't!"

"SHE DOES!" Peter punched. The acorn necklace trailed from his fist. "She does remember! She _has_ to remember! She gave me a kiss! I REMEMBER!"

" _It wasn't true love_!"

Peter stopped dead. He bobbed in midair, arm-locked with Jim.

"What?"

"True love's kiss – it's magical." Gripping Peter's collar, Jim gave a slight shake. "True love's kiss is why you remember. It's why I remember too. Peter I do. But…"

Jim stiffened. "Ariel doesn't. We kissed. But in Ariel's story, _Eric_ is her true love. Not me. That's why she doesn't remember. And Wendy – "

Helplessly, Jim shook his head. "Peter I'm sorry – but Wendy _left_ Neverland. _She_ left. On her _own_. It's in your story. That's the only explanation why you _can_ remember and she _can't_. Peter. Wendy – is not - "

"Jim." Ariel warned. "Don't."

But Jim had already spoken.

"—your true love. That's why Wendy can't remember. For her…it wasn't magical. It was just a kiss."

Jim meant well. He did. In the instant he had to protect Wendy from a harrowing misunderstanding, Jim did what he could with the information he had. Wendy was scared, Peter was outraged, and both were confused – the situation was volatile. So Jim ended it the only way he knew how: a brutal, calculated explanation.

But, Jim also understood he would cause pain.

Gently, Jim released. "Peter. I'm…I'm sorry."

Peter withdrew. And in one motion, fluid as running water, Peter touched his chest and sunk to the earth. For a moment he merely knelt, squeezing his chest to make the ache go away.

Finally, he gasped.

"This – _This_ – is how – she feels – all the time."

Jim stared. Then, painfully, he looked away.

"…not anymore."

So it was. The tides had turned on the great Peter Pan. Before, despite all his fondness for Wendy, Peter had been unable to understand her love. So Wendy ached alone, longing for a boy that could not love her back.

But now, through the smallest, simplest adventure, Peter understood love. He recognized its power, he accepted it within himself, and he desired to share it. But in a cruel twist of fate, the girl Peter ached for, did not love him back. She did not remember, and she was so scared.

Wendy and Peter were worthless for love.

Peter caved. In agony, he clutched his chest. Then, screaming like a wild animal he staggered into the darkness, unable to fly.

Jim lifted a hand, staying Merida, Rapunzel, and Ariel from following.

"I think I just killed him. Let him go."

The girl's receded, and Rapunzel sniffled in the silence.

"Jim." Ariel gazed after Peter. "He's not supposed to understand love. It's in his story. How does he know now?"

Jim hadn't an answer. Neither did Merida or Rapunzel. Lost, they listened to Peter's fading screams.

Then Flynn, ever the cynic, threw his arms into the sky.

"This is ridiculous! We've got the ding-dong tape! WHY don't we just grab Wendy a box of tissues and show her the video?!"

"Tape?" Merida called as Flynn approached the Darling's house. "What tape? What are ye doin'?"

"Flynn!" Hurriedly Jim crossed the street. "Flynn I wouldn't – "

Ignoring Jim, Flynn rapped on the Darling's front door. He beamed as Mr. and Mrs. Darling appeared.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. D! My name is Flynn Rider and I'm a friend of Peter Pan. Funny story: Peter – "

"GET OUT!"

Flynn catapulted over the pavement.

The door slammed. "AND STAY OUT!"

"Nice Flynn." Running over, Jim hovered over Flynn with Merida and Ariel. "Good plan."

"Eugene!" Rapunzel hauled Flynn upright. He was slightly cross-eyed. "Eugene! Eugene! Are you hurt?"

Flynn probed his nose. "Oh no this is bad! This is very, very bad! Rapunzel – how's my nose?!"

"Greek-god like."

"Zeus?"

"Apollo."

"Close enough! Ooooo. Yeowch!" Flynn wagged a finger at the Darling's door. "Mr. D is sure buff for an old English dude."

"Poor Eugene!" Rapunzel felt for broken bones. "Did you break anything?"

"Just my pride. And…." Wincing, Flynn eased the videotape from under his rump. The tape had snapped. Camera film hung from the broken center. "….this."

Rapunzel covered her mouth. "Eugene! Oh no! _Now_ how will we help them remember?"

Flynn pointed at Jim. "I think he already does. Jimbo – last night? Did any date shenanigans go down? As in date shenanigans we can't remember because of Maleficent's curse to make us all forget a night of splendor and love-making, as of twelve o'clock midnight?"

Jim nodded. "Yup." He turned to Merida and Ariel. "You two up to speed now?"

They were not. But following a brief summary and series of questions, the date night was accepted, if not completely understood.

"Okay – so wait!" Flynn said. "You're saying, _essentially_ , that because you and Peter received true love's kiss - _illegal_ by the way: you and Ariel are crossovers, and Wendy and Peter are star-crossed, JUST SAYIN – "

Jim rolled his eyes. "The point, Flynn?"

"Oh you just listen Grumpy, I've got a point all right! Anyway, you're saying that because you and Peter received true love's kiss….you _can_ remember the dates. Right?"

"Right."

"And – " continued Flynn. "—because Ariel and Wendy are not your and Peter's 'true loves'—"

Ariel grumbled, clearly not in accordance with Jim's theory.

"—that's why they _can't_ remember the dates." Flynn finished. "Right?"

Jim nodded. "Right."

"Oh this doesn't make sense!" Ariel exclaimed. "Jim – you _are_ my true love – "

"Then how come you can't remember? We just – " Jim glanced at the onlookers. Flynn and Rapunzel were a little too engrossed. Leaning towards Ariel he lowered his voice. "—kissed. _Twice_. You _still_ don't remember. So even though I love you, your story ends with Eric. Eric is your true love. And you shared true love's kiss. It's the _only_ explanation."

Merida massaged an arrow across her jaw. Suddenly, she turned to Rapunzel and Flynn.

"Did ye two kiss?"

"Um." Flynn looked highly offended. " _Cha_. You have to ask?"

"So ye kissed at the _Magic Kingdom_ gates?" Merida clarified. "Before midnight?"

"Again," said Flynn. "C _ha_. Rapunzel and I are the _quintessential_ definition of true love's kiss – "

Flynn stopped. His mouth dropped.

"Oh. Oh Jimbo –" Accusingly, Flynn pointed at Jim. " _You_ messed up!"

Jim frowned. "What?"

"We shared true love's kiss." Rapunzel said. "Eugene and I shared true love's kiss."

Wide-eyed, she looked to Jim. "Eugene _is_ my true love. And I'm his. It's in our hearts and in our story. So how come…we _can't_ remember."

Merida shrugged. "That's what I thought."

Ariel turned. "Jim?" she said, taking his hand.

"That's….?" Jim's brain buzzed, scrounging for the answer. "It _had_ to be true love. True love is the most magical thing in the world. But it doesn't make sense! It – "

Jim worked his fingers across Ariel's. He squeezed, trying to reflect on the events.

Suddenly, Jim noticed their interlocked hands. Strangely, Ariel's touch was helping him think. It felt new. It felt different. And it felt great, like energy was coursing between their palms.

Jim blinked. It was the _first_ time he'd held her hand.

Ariel, Merida, Rapunzel, and Flynn heard the answer _click_ inside Jim's head.

"….damn it. I'm an idiot."

"Um." said Flynn. "Share with group?"

"What is it?" asked Ariel. "True love? Or not?"

"It wasn't _true love's_ kiss…" Jim whispered. "…it was _my_ first. _His_ first."

Jim turned to Wendy's nursery window. "It was the _first_ kiss. Wendy _gave_ Peter…his first kiss."

* * *

 **sultal's note: Hi Fiona (guest)! Thnx for the comment. Actually I AM on wattpad (same name), and I agree the format is 164% better (plus you can add pics and videos which just makes me squee). 2nd Date is posted there :). But ehhhhhh...ARBB on Wattpad? I honestly don't know if I will do that. I have reasons - I get more draw from those stories, and I wanted to see if my other stories could do the same without EGOB and ARBB to attract readers. Not fond of resting on my laurels if you know what I mean. Plus ARBB needs major editing. Tell you what - let me THINK. I will give it serious thought, okay?**


	30. Chapter 30: First Kiss

**Chapter 30: First Kiss**

Kisses are powerful things. Very powerful. But each _type_ of kiss yields a _different_ power.

There is the _butterfly kiss_ , which sprinkles little bits of magic over a lover's eyelashes. And if an eyelash falls, it's worth a wish.

There is the _Blarney Stone kiss_ , which the Irish invented to give the gift of gab.

There is the _under-the-mistletoe kiss_ , which makes the hopeful lady beneath it so irresistible, a gentleman is helpless but to share his Yuletide cheer.

There is the _reptilian kiss_ , which changes frogs into a princes (and sometimes princesses into frogs).

There is the _blown kiss_ , which is an invisible token that only your lover can see, and catch.

There is the _poison-ivy kiss_ , which kills by breaking a heart.

There is the _hidden kiss_ , which (in my interpretation) is reserved for star crossed lovers.

There is the _forbidden kiss_ , which binds lovers in secret understanding.

There is the _pasta-and-meatball kiss,_ which is romantic, but only for dogs.

There is the _upside-down kiss_ which means you are actually a superhero bitten by a radioactive spider, and should report instantly to _Marvel Comics_ to start fighting crime and star in your own movies.

There is _true love's kiss_ , which is the most magical thing in the entire world. So magical, it can draw a princess from an undead sleep.

And then there is the _first_. The _first kiss_.

Do you _remember_ your first kiss?

I do. (Unfortunately!) I wish I could tell you it was under the moon, in the rain, or between ocean waves. But it wasn't. It was on a stage, in the script, and I giggled halfway through because I could feel my co-star's teeth.

But, of all the kisses I've ever had, _that_ is one I _remember_ , because it was my _first_.

And _that_ is the power of the first kiss. _Memory_. Because, as Jim observed, and as the old saying goes:

"Y _ou always remember your first kiss_."

Jim understood. That was why he remembered the date; it was the night that Ariel gave him his first kiss. So, he remembered. In a sense, Ariel had sealed Jim's memory with a kiss. Just as Wendy had for Peter.

Flynn, was unconvinced.

"Whaaaaaaaaat? NO! That sucks worse than your last idea!"

Jim glowered. He'd just poured out his soul, and was not in the mood for Flynn to stomp all over it.

"Why? It makes sense."

"It makes _poo_ sense!" Flynn brandished the broken videotape. "Peter AND Wendy kissed. So IF it was Peter's first kiss, then it was _ALSO_ Wendy's first kiss! Explain to me THAT!"

Jim was ready. "Who gave the kiss? Peter or Wendy?"

"Ohhhh Wendy." Rapunzel smiled. "I saw it on the video. She went right through Captain Hook and kissed Peter smmmack dab on the lips!"

"Atta girl." Merida said.

"Yeahhhh." Rapunzel swayed dreamily. "It was so cute."

"Cute my patoot!" Flynn clapped for attention. "It was still Wendy's first kiss! So she should remember! It doesn't matter who GAVE it!"

"Actually." Jim corrected. "It does."

"Oh come on!" said Flynn. "Now you're just fishing for it to make sense! Fishing! No offense Ariel – "

"—none taken."

"Wendy _gave_ Peter his first kiss." Jim explained. "So she _gave_ the memories. Sure, they shared the first kiss but Wendy _gave_ , and Peter _received_. So the memories…"

Jim crossed his arms. "…are Peter's. Make sense?"

Flynn scratched his goatee. "Guess. It sure makes more sense when you emphasize the _GAVE_ part."

"Figured."

"So did Ariel _GIVE_ you your first kiss, lover boy?"

Jim glared. "Obviously."

Ariel giggled. "How was I?"

"Great. Out of this world. I'll tell you about it later. Can we please change the subject?"

"Aye." Merida peered over her shoulder. Agitatedly she plucked her bowstring. "I've got a funny feelin' standing here in the open. Plus, we've still got a problem – Wendy's a wee bit upset."

"Wee bit?" said Flynn.

"Either way." Merida scrunched her hair. "She can't remember. And she _won't_ remember. After all – she's had her first kiss. Whether or not she gave or received – it was still her first. Even if Peter kiss her now, the memories wouldn't come back because the kiss would be her second."

"So…" Rapunzel said after a moment's contemplation. "…what do we do now?"

 _Zing!_

Merida shot an arrow. She whipped around, trailing the first arrow with a second. The arrows whistled and fell, skittering across the pavement.

Although an obvious mark was not hit, each arrow had something skewered through its shaft. The first arrow: a red knit cap. The second arrow: a magnificent feather, just like the plumage of pirate's hat.

"First." Merida breathed. "We better go. We're being watched."

"Yeah ya hear that!" Flynn called. His voice echoed across the street. "We're being watched! That's right we know you're there bug-eyes!"

"Flynn!" Jim pulled the group. "Don't tick off the villains. Come on."

"Where are we going?" Rapunzel asked.

"Cinderella's Castle." Jim cast a final backwards glance. "We need help."

Captain Hook smiled. Leaving Mr. Smee to cower under a broken lamppost, he strode regally into the street.

"Oh yes." Captain Hook retrieved his feather. He snapped Merida's arrow in half. "Oh yes. You certainly do."


	31. Chapter 31: Poison

**Chapter 31: Poison**

"…you're _kidding_!"

Flynn pointed down a black well. It looked – and smelled – like a giant esophagus.

" _This_ is your idea of _help_?"

Jim leaned over the well. Experimentally he dropped a pebble, gauging the depth.

"Yeah." he answered after the pause. The pebble hadn't hit after ten seconds. The well was deep. Very deep. "Why? There a problem? Rapunzel, can you come here a sec?"

"Problem?" Flynn exclaimed as Rapunzel joined Jim. "Problem? Yes there is a problem! Jimbo – this is the entrance to the villains' lair! _We're standing on the doormat of HELL_!"

"It's an underground tunnel system." Frowning, Jim examined Rapunzel's pigtails. "Not the doormat of Hell. There are maps and everything."

"Maps? _Maps_? Maps to seven circles of Hell!"

"Okay Flynn – get off the Hell thing."

"How do you _even know_ this is here?" Flynn motioned hysterically. "What you just happened to stumble upon a magic well hidden under a stone tile at the base of Cinderella's Castle?"

"Flynn – the tile is marked. _Welcome. Leave All Hope Behind_."

"So you just happened to stumble upon a magic well hidden under a _suspiciously labeled_ stone tile at the base of Cinderella's Castle?"

"Silver and Sparrow showed me." Jim started unbraiding Rapunzel's hair. "They're both shifty good guys, which is the same thing as a shifty bad guy. So they've been through the villain tunnels."

"Have you?"

"Few times."

"Alone?"

"Not exactly."

"Oh god!" Flynn pulled his face. "We're going to die!"

"Jim." said Ariel. "Flynn's not completely wrong."

"Aye." Merida agreed. "This is the villains' home, and if the stories are true, it's a maze down there. We might as well spit in the dragon's eye."

Apprehensively, Merida fingered her bow. "We _assumed_ when ye said Cinderella's Castle, ye meant we'd find Mickey Mouse. Why do we need help from the villains?"

"Not villain _s_. Villai _n_. Just one." Jim hefted Rapunzel's hair. It slipped over his arms like golden thread. "The Evil Queen."

"The Evil Queen?!" Flynn followed Jim to the well. "The Empress of All Envy? Miss Doesn't Play Nice? _Mirror, mirror on the wall; who's the freakin fairest babe of all_!? THAT Evil Queen?"

Jim bundled Rapunzel's hair at the well. "You forgot Psychopathic Murderess."

Merida caught Flynn before he threw a punch.

"You're crazy!" Flynn pointed at Jim. "Years of insanity have made you crazy! Jimbo – why do we need help from The Evil Queen?"

"Because!" Jim spun, one hand on Rapunzel's hair. "Because she was the first _Disney_ villain! Because she's obsessed with beauty, hearts, and all that love crap so she can screw it up, or use it for herself! Because her poison apple can be cured by a kiss! Ergo – she must know everything about black magic AND the white magic used to break it! Specifically, _kisses_!"

Jim wound Rapunzel's hair around his palm. "We've got to get Wendy's memory back, right? So we've got to break Maleficent's curse. And I don't know about you, but there is _no way_ I'm going head to toe with Maleficent."

Ariel consented. "He has a point Flynn. Maleficent cast the spell. She'll kill us before she takes it back."

Flynn was frantic. "What about the three good fairies? They fixed Maleficent's curse with the cliché Sleeping Beauty kiss thing!"

"That's true love's kiss." said Jim. "Doesn't give memories."

"Well what about Mickey?" Flynn thrust an arm at the castle walls. "Let's just go ask _Mighty_ Mouse!"

"Mickey's just a mouse. He's not a sorcerer. Plus…" Jim added. "…he doesn't remember the date night. We'd have to explain all over again. This is faster. We're going straight to the source."

"I don't believe this!" Flynn said. "I seriously don't believe this! Wendy and Peter have a lover's spat, so we have to ask The Evil Queen for _friendly advice_? Just so we can reverse Maleficent's curse, return Wendy's memory, and wave triumphantly as Peter flies her into a magical _Disney_ sunset? Based on your HUNCH?"

"Flynn's right." Merida said. "Jim, I'm all up for a good adventure. But this is daft. So what if The Evil Queen knows the answer? What makes you think she's goin' te _help_ us?"

"That's the easy part." said Jim. "We're going to bribe her."

"Bribe her?" Flynn feigned hilarious laugher. "Bribe her with what? She's The Evil Queen! All she cares about is mascara and eternal beauty! What the heck do we have that could _possibly_ bribe her?"

Jim turned. He lifted Rapunzel's golden hair.

"Three…" he counted as Flynn processed. "….two…one…"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no!" roared Flynn. "We are NOT bribing The Evil Queen with Rapunzel's hair!"

"She just has to sing." Jim argued. He spoke quickly as Flynn advanced. "Just one song! It's not like the queen's going to cut her hair off – "

"You are _damn_ straight she's not!" Flynn seized Jim's collar. All his hysterias vanished into rage as he swung Jim from Rapunzel. "You want to talk about true love? Okay rookie. Let me _illuminate_ for you. True love is the way I feel about _that girl_ you were just about to throw to the lions. I would _and_ _have_ died for her – so if you think that I'm going to let you endanger – "

"Eugene. I want to go."

Flynn was startled. Without releasing Jim, he turned to Rapunzel.

"Rapunzel you can't go down there. If the villains catch you, they'll never let you out – "

"Eugene, don't be silly. Remember…." Rapunzel hefted her frying pan. She smiled, but not genuinely. "I've got this. Plus. Jim's coming with me."

"And you, Flynn." Jim said. He lifted his arms slightly as Flynn glared. "Flynn you're coming too. God. Do you really think I would let Rapunzel get hurt?"

Flynn tensed. Then he spoke very, _very_ dangerously.

"Do you think it's _impossible_?"

Jim paused. With difficulty, he shook his head.

"No."

Flynn elevated his shoulders. His knuckles dug into Jim's throat. "Okay. Here is what's going to happen – "

"Eugene." Rapunzel took Flynn's arm. "I'm going. I _want_ to go. Jim's right, this could work! And if this could help Peter and Wendy – "

"Rapunzel," Flynn shook his head. "Not worth it. I'm not letting you put yourself in danger for someone else's story."

"Eugene….you didn't hear her cry."

Flynn half turned, not anticipating Rapunzel's comment. He waited as Rapunzel stroked a thick golden lock.

"You heard Peter cry. It was awful. But Wendy…" Rapunzel quailed as if she could still hear. "Wendy cried like…like her life had ended. And…and I…"

Rapunzel slid a foot towards the well.

"I know how that feels. So. Eugene?" She gazed imploringly. "Please? Let me help. Let me go."

Flynn hesitated. He was clearly dithering between concern for Rapunzel and sympathy for Wendy. And it was obvious that the former was his preferred course of action.

"Eugene." Rapunzel twirled the frying pan. She winked. "You know I'm just going to hop down there anyway!"

Wordlessly, Flynn released Jim.

"Yeah." Heavily he sighed. "Yeah I know, Blondie. I know."

Darkly Flynn turned. "But I'm coming too. This _better_ work Jim."

Jim gathered Rapunzel's hair. Like a fisherman, he reeled it down the well. "I think it's our only option."

Jim's plan was simple: traverse the tunnels with Rapunzel's glowing hair. He and Flynn would lower into the well, using Rapunzel's hair as a rope. As they descended, she would sing to illuminate the stonework until they landed. Merida and Ariel would act as a human-pulley system to lower the hair without decapitating Rapunzel in the process. When the boys reached bottom Rapunzel would follow, falling from her own hair (anchored by Merida and Ariel). They would proceed to The Evil Queen, hopefully avoid death, and _finally_ toss Rapunzel's hair to Merida and Ariel to climb out.

That was the plan.

Ariel and Merida hated it.

"Why!" Ariel demanded. "Why can't we go with you?"

"Because you're girls." Jim said.

"WHAT?"

"We need someone to lower _and_ lift us from the well. Neither of you is strong enough alone."

Merida snapped her bowstring. "I might just shoot him!"

"Which is the other reason I need you here." Jim said. "You're guarding the entrance. Don't let villains out. Don't let villains in. If we need to make a quick escape, I want a clear path."

"Uhhrrrrr!" Merida raked her hair. "I hate bein' a sittin' duck!"

"I hate it when he makes sense." Ariel grumbled. "Fine. _We'll stay_. Just don't die in there, okay?"

Jim edged over the lip of the well. "I'll give it my all. Okay Rapunzel – let's do it."

It was a terrifying descent. Rapunzel's hair dripped into the filthy darkness. Dangling from the golden tendrils, Jim and Flynn could only look down. Their legs disappeared mid-shin into the blackness. Breathless, they waited to feel ground….or something else.

"Here!" Stone solidified under Jim's feet. Staggering, he held Rapunzel's hair like a lamp. The glow illuminated a slimy, stone archway.

"Okay!" Jim called, voice echoing up the well. "We're here! And there's another passageway. Rapunzel – come down but keep singing so we can see!"

"Rapunzel!" Flynn tugged. "Hey Blondie! You coming or what? _Rapunzel_?"

Suddenly, Flynn shouted. Rapunzel's hair had extinguished. As the golden glitter faded into blonde, they were swept into total darkness. Jim lifted his hand. He waved, but could not see.

"Rapunzel!" Flynn yelled. He voice was pitched, desperate. "Rapunzel! Light up your hair!"

"Boys!" Ariel shouted. Her tone was sharp. "She's coming!"

Rapunzel's hair sagged. It dropped, raveling into Jim's arms.

"She's jumping?" Jim ran into the thickest curtain of hair, groping blindly to catch Rapunzel's fall. "Rapunzel! What the Hell is going – "

"Whoopsie!"

Jim skid. He collided with Flynn as a golden light erupted overhead. At first Jim thought the light was Rapunzel's hair. But he was mistaken. Eyes shielded, Jim saw that the golden glow did not gather synchronously like a waterfall. Rather, the light rained from a golden ball …like salt…like…

"Crap." Jim growled. "Pixie-dust."

Tinkerbell laughed. Metamorphosing from the pixie dust, she sprinkled a handful of sparkles over Rapunzel. Tinkerbell had bound Rapunzel by her own hair. She held the girl taught by a fashioned noose.

"Whoopsie!" Tinkerbell repeated, twisting Rapunzel's braided noose. "Someone slipped and fell! What are we all doing down here? Saving a wittle – bwroken-hawrted Wendy biwrd?"

Flynn did not wait.

"MERIDA! HIT THE LIGHT!"

 _Zing! Zing! Zing!_

Merida shot three arrows. They rebounded from the walls, clicking with each impact. The first two arrows missed. The third hit – twice.

Tinkerbell screamed. The arrow sliced through both wings, penetrating the delicate tissue easily as paper. Her wings crumpled. Unable to fly, Tinkerbell dropped Rapunzel, and plunged. She hobbled viciously as Jim attacked, trying to launch from him with her broken wings.

"Nope!" Jim rolled over Tinkerbell. Pixie-dust burst from her body with each impact. Savagely, Jim slammed Tinkerbell onto Rapunzel's hair. Then, he started knotting.

"Stop!" Tinkerbell shrieked. She wriggled against Jim's improvised ropes. "Stop! You ugly, worthless, never-has-be–"

"And that!" Jim twisted hair into Tinkerbell's mouth. He zipped the knot. _Really_ tight. "Is why pixies suck!"

Jim heaved. Panting, he turned to Rapunzel. "You okay?"

Just then, Merida and Ariel shouted the same question. "Hey! You guys okay?"

Rapunzel nodded, though she trembled against Flynn. "Fine!" she called upwards. "I'm fine! We're fine! Thanks Merida! Good shot!"

Merida sounded hopeful. "Did I get her w' all three?"

Rapunzel skimmed Tinkerbell's punctured wings. She shook her head. "No! Just one!"

"Bloody!" Merida cursed. "Next time!"

"Jim!" Ariel called. "What now?"

Jim fingered Tinkerbell's wing. Though it was wounded, the transparent tissue still glowed in his hand.

"Now…" Hoisting Tinkerbell, Jim shoved her into the black cavern. "Now we have a light. Come on. Move. Pixies first."

Onward they went. Rather, _downward_ they went. The path flickered downward by Tinkerbell's light. The gradual decline was unsettling; Jim felt like he was sinking into a grave. But they continued with no more trouble than Tinkerbell's muffled protests.

"I vote we kill the pixie." Flynn growled. Protectively he hugged Rapunzel's shoulders. "Boy oh boy, Tinker _smell_ I've got a frying pan with your name all over it."

"Guys. Shut up." Jim steered Tinkerbell ahead, increasing her pace. "We've gotta be almost there."

"Oh really?" Flynn said. Sardonically he waved at the black walls. "And what road signs are telling you that?"

"Well _Flynn_. We're looking for the first _Disney_ villain. It's kinda like your Hell thing." Jim glanced back. "The deeper you go, the badder they get. So we just have to keep going – "

Jim stopped. "- down."

They had reached an edge. The pathway, abruptly cutoff, had emptied into a crater. The crater was wide, shallow, and gleaming with grey crystals. The crystals did not glow, but they were reflective. Reflective as silver mirrors.

"Mirrors." Excited, Jim squeezed Tinkerbell's wrist. "Crystals mirrors! This is it! The Evil Queen's vice is vanity! And with mirrors – "

"Jim." Flynn choked. "Jim. Down there. By the throne. It's Peter."

Jim turned. He searched between the crystals and reflected images. Then, he saw.

"Oh…no."

Peter Pan lay beneath The Evil Queen.

A bitten poisoned apple lay by his side.


	32. Chapter 32: Romeo

**Chapter 32: Romeo**

"Pan!"

Together they screamed. Even Tinkerbell squealed through her gags. But Peter did not move. He was still as stone and grey and as a ghost, one bone white hand curled over the poison apple.

"He bit it!" Rapunzel cried. "He bit the poison apple! Oh Eugene! Peter's - "

Jim reacted so fast he didn't realize he was running until Flynn and Rapunzel called that they were right behind. Skimming down the slope, he tore across the crater for Peter Pan. The crystal mirrors threw his reflection across the distance.

The Evil Queen turned. Sweeping over Peter, she flung her arms.

"Jim!" Flynn shouted. "She's casting a spell!"

"Jim!" Rapunzel lugged Tinkerbell over the crystals. "Jim stop!"

" _But, soft_!" The Evil Queen clawed her hands. She retracted, as if she were ripping the air. " _What light through yonder window breaks_!"

Wind rose within the crater as The Evil Queen spoke. But it was more than wind - it was tangible, almost sharp. It was as if a butcher knife followed the breeze.

The wind hit. Jim slipped over the crystals. Shards broke across his back as he scrambled for Peter. But as The Evil Queen sang her incantation, Peter began to disappear.

"Pan!" Jim struggled against the wind. "Peter!"

The Evil Queen lifted an arm. Summoning the evil incantation, she pointed at Peter.

 _"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?_

 _Tis fair Juliet, heart soaked with heartache!_

 _Magic of darkness, and wind swift as snake!_

 _Flightless Romeo, to Juliet take!_

 _And cross starry love, with sleep ne'er to wake!"_

The wind rippled over Peter. Jim, Rapunzel, and Flynn screamed as it pulled him apart like sand. And when The Evil Queen's incantation was complete, Peter was gone. He had disintegrated into the spell.

All that remained was the poisoned apple, two bite marks in the white flesh.

"He's dead!" Rapunzel cried. Her hair settled with the dying wind. "Oh he's dead! Peter's dead!"

"He's not dead!" Furiously, Jim pushed upright. "He's - "

Suddenly The Evil Queen was upon him. Jim stopped as she pressed a dagger to his sternum. His spine stiffened. He dared not move. He dared not breathe. A flinch forward, and she would carve out his heart.

"Not dead - " The Evil Queen said. Slowly she traced the dagger up and down. "-but death-like sleep."

Jim felt the dagger through his skin and against his bone. Instinctively, he looked down. The Evil Queen's reflection stared back at him through the blade. She was beautiful. True, she was a villain and Jim despised her; but she was severely beautiful. Like a cold, stone statue.

However, with every other blink Jim saw a hag within the blade. A hag that was rotting inside her own skin.

"That spell?" Jim spoke to the blade. The tip was resting between his collar bones. "What happened? Where's Peter?"

Tantalizingly, The Evil Queen rotated the dagger against his skin. "Into the wind."

"Self explanatory." Jim choked. "But thanks."

The blade crossed down. The tip bumped over his ribs.

"The apple?" Jim continued. "Why'd you put Peter to sleep?"

"I did not." said The Evil Queen. Her eyes flashed in the blade. "He _asked_."

Rapunzel and Flynn gasped. Tinkerbell's wings twitched in surprise.

"That's - a lie." Jim cringed as the dagger pricked his chest. It was not deep, but it _was_ over his heart. Frantically, Jim vied for information. "That's a lie. Peter wouldn't - "

"But he _did_." The Evil Queen pivoted the dagger point. She pressed deeper, warning Jim not to flee. "He sought me. He begged me. He begged me for help. Be begged me...to _forget_."

"Forget?" It was agonizing, but Jim forced himself not to grab the dagger. "Forget what?"

"His pain." Rapunzel whispered. Horrified, she touched her chest. "Remember? He fell. He couldn't fly. He hugged his heart. Jim..."

Rapunzel welled. "Peter wanted to forget his broken heart. It hurt. It too much."

"So he asked to forget." Flynn stared at the poison apple. "Forget through eternal sleep."

"And forget he shall." The Evil Queen smiled. "Unless...he dreams."

"Or unless." Jim said. "We get him to Wendy first."

Head lifting, Jim glared at the queen. "Something about sleeping death, revived only by love's true kiss? I mean - those _are_ your rules."

Ignoring the dagger, he managed a very small smirk. "Right?"

The Evil Queen made no reply. At first. At first she listened to Rapunzel and Flynn rejoice, and Tinkerbell object. Then, she looked directly at Jim.

And as she spoke, Jim knew something else - something evil - had happened.

"If ever you could find Romeo - asleep with a broken heart - then your battle would be half won. Only half. For where there is a Romeo..."

The Evil Queen angled her dagger. Jim's heart throbbed against the tip. "...there is a Juliet. And a _second_ poisoned apple for true love's lips."

"Second...second poisoned - ?" Jim froze. Suddenly, the incantation, the analogy, it all made sense. "Romeo. Juliet...Peter. _Wendy_."

Jim stared at the queen. "There's a poisoned apple for Wendy."

"Very good." Haughtily, The Evil Queen removed the dagger.

"I will even offer you the chance to run."

"Guys!" Freed, Jim sprinted to Rapunzel and Flynn. He stumbled the last steps. "Guys we gotta go! We gotta go _now_! It's Wendy - they're going to poison Wendy before she can give Peter true love's - "

Tinkerbell screamed through her gags. Furiously, she yanked against Rapunzel's hair.

"Cut it out!" Jim seized Tinkerbell. Peripherally, he saw the Evil Queen approach. "Quit it! Wendy is the only hope for Pan! I said _cut it out_ we don't have time -!"

But Tinkerbell was incensed. Hatred and jealousy far outweighing her concern for Peter, Tinkerbell fought Jim tooth and nail.

"Damn it!" Jim dragged Tinkerbell up the crater. He could almost hear time ticking away. "Damn it, Tinkerbell! _We don't have time_!"

"Your time is lost. Captain Hook has already beseeched dear Juliet. However...perhaps I could be persuaded to help."

They turned. The Evil Queen stretched a hand. Imaginatively, she stroked Rapunzel's hair. "For something soft that _gleams and glows_...my winds will take you to the archer and little mermaid's side."

Jim clenched Tinkerbell.

"Your word?"

The Evil Queen blew into her palm. Wind spread across the crater.

"My word. Now..." She gleamed hungrily at Rapunzel. "My magical gleam and glow?"

"Yeah." Jim ripped Tinkerbell's knots. Savagely, he threw her at The Evil Queen. "As promised!"

It was a blemished bargain, true only in the semantic sense. Jim understood The Evil Queen's inference - she desired Rapunzel's incantation, perhaps even to keep her hair. However, like all villains, the queen tried to be poetic and mysterious instead of literal. Two could play the game of deceit; and Jim was good at it. So, he gave her Tinkerbell - after all, the pixie did gleam and glow.

Still, that did not soften the caustic wind. Seized between Rapunzel and Flynn, Jim closed his eyes as the queen's magic ground them to dust.

"Damn it." he whispered. "We forgot to ask - Wendy's memory."

Flynn grunted. "Who cares? Just hope - we make it in time."

Suddenly Rapunzel sobbed. Versed in Shakespeare from her years trapped in the tower, she recited the last stanza from The Bard's poem.

" _For never was a story of more woe. Than this of Juliet and her Romeo_."

No one heard Rapunzel. Her voice was lost in the wind.

And the wind was laughing.


	33. Chapter 33: Juliet

**Chapter 33: Juliet**

"Wendy? My darling. Please open the door."

"Wendy? Wendy you want Teddy Bear?"

"Heavens Wendy, mother's right! Please. Come out."

"Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!"

"Young lady! This is your father! Open this door _at once_!"

The Darlings rattled the doorknob and banged the panels. Nana even pawed the threshold, whimpering to be let inside. But the nursery remained silent, and they began to wonder if Wendy was listening.

 _No doubt_ , they supposed, _she was asleep_. Peter Pan had drained household's constitution with his riff raff mischief, and poor Wendy had been the target. She ought to sleep, Mrs. Darling said. She ought to sleep and forget whatever trouble Peter Pan had caused her.

So, charging Nana as sentry, The Darlings departed for bed.

"Sweet dreams." Mrs. Darling wished through the door. "Good night. My darling."

Wendy heard every word. She heard her father's commands. She heard her mother's pleas. She heard her brothers beg. But nothing unfroze her. She had locked the door, covered the window, shut her ears, and closed her eyes; but Wendy was buried inside her head, the most dangerous place of all. Her thoughts were cruel and anesthetizing. They made her completely numb.

Peter Pan had ruined her, played with her like a toy. She was worthless. Worthless for his care. Worthless for his love.

And she couldn't heal the pain.

Wendy closed her eyes. She dropped in and out of nightmares as a magical wind unfastened the nursery window, and carried Captain Hook inside.

"But soft..." Captain Hook floated from the sill. "...what light through yonder window breaks?"

Wendy did not react. Motionless, she ignored Captain Hook's shadow as he crossed the starlit room.

Captain Hook stepped lightly, exploring the scene. He prowled like a shark, searching for the point of entry where it would hurt the most.

Wendy was curled on the floor. She'd taken refuge in a dark corner, furthermost from the window. Her forehead touched the wall. Both arms crossed her heart, almost like she was holding it in place.

Suddenly Captain Hook paused. He smelled lavender. Lavender soap. Searching, he quickly identified a porcelain pitcher and white water basin nearby. The carpet was wet, stained with soap. A linen was crumpled inside Wendy's hands.

Captain Hook smiled: _She'd been washing! She felt unclean. She had tried to wash away the sin; the sensation of hands on her body, the feeling of another's touch. And likely...the smell of Peter Pan._

His smile widened. _How terribly funny. Uproarious_! _Because...it was all a lie. A lovely little lie._ Captain Hook congratulated himself. _Goodness. He was evil._

Kneeling,Captain Hook completed The Evil Queen's poem, "Why, tis fair Juliet...heart soaked with heartache."

He waited.

"Wendy?"

Nothing.

"Little Wendy?"

Nothing. She did not move. But she was awake. Her eyes were open. He could see the blue.

Captain Hook reached inside his breast pocket. Withdrawing the silver thimble, stolen from The Darling's front steps, he dangled the necklace.

"To Wendy. With love..." He jingled. "...from Peter."

Captain Hook waited for her gaze to focus. Helplessly Wendy watched the thimble sway.

"It seems." he said. "Your trinket is unwanted. Peter Pan had his fun. He needs no remembrance of you. Or...your _virtues_."

Gently, he looped the chain around her throat. Wendy choked as if he was strangling her.

"Poor Wendy." Captain Hook set the clasp. "Poor, wasted lady. Nay, not a lady – a _plaything_ for Peter Pan. A bauble. A doll. To spoil and explore."

He listened to her cry. He _savored_ the sound.

Then, he touched her head. "It will never go away."

Wendy shivered as Captain Hook stroked her hair.

"It will never, _ever_ go away. No matter how often you cry – "

His fingers trickled down her neck.

"—how often you bathe – "

He smoothed her waist.

" – how often you pretend – "

She sobbed, begging him to stop.

"—or how loud you scream. It will never, ever go away. There is no way out. There is nowhere to run. There is no way..."

Captain Hook leaned. He kissed her ear, and whispered.

"...to forget. Except...perhaps..."

Captain Hook withdrew a poisoned apple. He placed it before Wendy's eyes.

"...sleep."

Wendy stared at the apple, almost mesmerized by its evil charm. Captain Hook knew his insinuation was well understood. Wendy was the queen of storytelling. Immediately she would recognize the apple as a symbol of evil...and then, of hope.

"Hope to forget." Captain Hook said, reassuring Wendy's temptations. "Forget _him_. Forget _his_ phantom touch. Forget _his_ elvin face. Forget _his_ demon eyes. Forget forever – Peter Pan. All it will take..."

He cradled the apple inside her hands. Fighting her pull, he brought it to her lips. "...is one bite."

Wendy trembled. She could almost see her reflection in the gleaming, red skin. Slowly, she drew the apple away.

"He _doesn't_ love you."

Wendy stopped. Eyes closed, she felt the words sting.

And then, she bit the apple.

Poison bled from the core. Wendy gasped. Juices burned her mouth and clogged like broken glass in her throat. Reflexively she tried to swallow, but choked as her airways swelled and the poison set her stomach on fire. There were needles in her brain, and cement inside her skull. Wendy remembered she was on the ground but she felt like she was falling.

Wendy cried at the ceiling. It hurt. It hurt so much.

"Poor dear." Captain Hook rubbed her cheek. "It's _painful_ , isn't it? I know. I know. But...now it's time for my favorite part."

Softly, Captain Hook turned Wendy's head. Starlight filled her eyes as she saw Peter Pan, asleep at her nursery window.

"... _realization_."

Wendy gasped, trying to breath. Blinking, she stared through her tears.

At first, Peter seemed asleep. He was lain across her window seat, head cocked slightly to the side. But then the clouds shifted, and the starlight revealed more.

Peter was white, flaccid, and inexpressive. The usual upturn of his features, as if he were laughing in his sleep, were lax. His mouth was grimaced, but he was not breathing. He looked like a corpse. He looked...

"Dead." hissed Captain Hook. "Rather, a _death-like_ sleep. From the bite of a poisoned apple. Two bites, I believe. All because his little Wendy...did not _ache_ for him anymore."

Wendy's heart stopped. Comprehension killed her, long before the poison.

"Y – y –yu - you?"

"Yes." Captain Hook said. " _I_ _did_."

"N- no." Painfully Wendy cried. " _P –p – pe – tr!_ "

"You want him?" Captain Hook rose. Standing Wendy upright, he squared her to Peter Pan. "Then save him if you can. You know the fairytale. All it will take is love's true kiss."

Wendy sagged in his arms, she could barely lift her head. Poison saturated her body and she was bloodshot with tears. Without his support she would wilt like a flower.

And seconds, she would sleep.

"To Romeo." Captain Hook released. "Juliet."

Wendy fell. Blindly, she stumbled across the carpet.

" _Pe-tr_."she cried, one hand on her throat, the other on the floor. " _Pe-tr_."

"Hey!" There was a commotion outside. "Darlings! Wake up! Wendy's in trouble! She – "

"Faster." Captain Hook laughed. "Tick, tock, tick, tock."

Wendy crumpled. She pushed upright, poison stinging her insides. " _Pe-tr_."

Voices thundered in the hall. "What is this ruckus? Mary! Who are these – ?"

"Where is your nursery? Where is Wendy's room?"

"Jim! Over here! It's locked!"

"Wendy!" Someone screamed through the door. "Wendy! Answer now!"

"He's going to die." Captain Hook mocked. "Quickly, quickly Wendy or Peter Pan is going to die."

The starlight dimmed. Wendy groveled, unable see, unable to breath. " _P-p-petr_!"

"You'll never make it." Captain Hook followed.

"Wendy!" someone called.

"You're going to fall asleep..." Captain Hook said.

"She's not answering! Break the door!"

Captain Hook bared his teeth. "... _and you will never_..."

Wendy gasped.

"... _see Peter Pan_..."

Collapsing, she reached.

"... _ever_..."

She seized Peter's hand.

Captain Hook waited. Three times Wendy rose. Three times Wendy sunk.

And as the nursery door blew open, she sobbed her last breath.

Captain Hook smiled. Striding to the window, he kicked Wendy and Peter's lifeless hands apart.

"... _again_."


	34. Chapter 34: Magical Lips

**Chapter 34: Magical Lips**

Jim ran to Wendy. He flew at first; turning her over, propping her against his knee, lifting her chin, and brushing poison from her mouth. But as he investigated, Jim slowed. He read every evil sign and stopped.

"She's...gone." Jim breathed. "She's gone. She's gone I can't believe she's - "

Abruptly, Jim looked at Captain Hook.

"Is there a reason he's still standing?"

Flynn flipped his frying pan. "Nope."

They fought the good fight. And they fought it dirty. Rapunzel strangled Captain Hook with her hair. Merida sprayed him with arrows. Flynn tried to force feed Hook his frying pan. And Ariel just punched.

" _Great Scot_ and _Mother of England_!"

Galloping over Nana, Mr. Darling charged into the hurricane. Furiously, he wrestled Flynn for the frying pan. "What the devil goes on here? You heathens - barging in at ungodly hours! I say! I SAY! Release Captain Hook! Be gone from my home! Be gone afore I unleash the _Disney_ brigade - "

"George!" Mrs. Darling shrieked. She pointed as Jim lifted Wendy onto the bed. "George! _George_! It's Wendy! Oh my baby - my little girl!"

Mrs. Darling swept across the room. In her hysterics, the poisoned apple went unnoticed.

"Wendy? Wendy, my darling? Oh! George!" Mrs. Darling clutched her mouth. "George! She's not breathing!"

"Not breathing?" Mr. Darling shouldered through Jim. As Jim ducked to the window seat, Mr. Darling touched Wendy's head. Immediately he jumped. She was ice cold.

"What the - " Mr. Darling probed Wendy's neck. After a pause he seized her wrist, searching for a pulse. He repeated the motions until his fingers were sore, but he could not find a heartbeat.

Nana sensed the distress. Propping at the bedside, she licked Wendy's cheek. When the girl did not respond, Nana whimpered imploringly. But neither Nana nor Mr. Darling could bring Wendy back to life.

"Good...good lord." Mr. Darling's voice dropped. Stupefied, he stared between Captain Hook, Hook's captors, and his sobbing wife. Something atrocious had happened in the heart of his household, but Mr. Darling was clueless who to blame.

Then, he saw Peter Pan.

" _That boy_!" Mr. Darling stood before the bed. He growled furiously as Jim carried Peter to the opposite side. "That _filthy_ street-rat! _This_ is the last straw! He has harmed my daughter! I'll see that Peter Pan never shows his disgusting face in _Disney_ World aga - _WHAT are you DOING_?"

Jim ignored Mr. Darling. Weaving passed Mrs. Darling, he gently set Peter beside Wendy.

The Darlings erupted.

"WHAT!" Mr. Darling roared. "ARE you DOING?"

"Take him away!" Mrs. Darling cried. As Nana barked, she tried to pull Wendy from the bed. "Take that dreadful boy away from here! He's bewitched Wendy! He's - "

Jim took Mrs. Darling's arm.

"Go get Mickey Mouse." he said.

Mrs. Darling blinked. Tearfully, she cradled Wendy. "Go? And leave my baby? Here? - with _him_?"

"Yes." One hand on Peter, Jim eased Wendy back to her pillow. " _Now_. Go get Mickey Mouse."

"Young man!" Mr. Darling snarled. " _Unhand_ my wife! And remove that infernal Peter Pan so I might throw him out the - "

"I said GO!" Jim suddenly shouted. "GO GET MICKEY MOUSE! We need help! Don't you get it? Can't you see?"

The room jumped. Even Captain Hook - tethered in Rapunzel's hair - was startled by Jim's outburst.

Jim was livid, almost frantic. He had smelled danger the _second_ Wendy denied remembering her date. But despite all his efforts, her safety had slipped between his fingers. And now, the two children were as good as dead.

Jim shook. They should have gotten Mickey Mouse. And it was his fault.

"Look! Just look!" Jim slashed an arm. "Over there! By the door! See that? Do you know what that is?"

They followed Jim's gesture. He had spoken rhetorically, but Mrs. Darling whispered all the same.

"A...a poisoned apple? Oh!" Mrs. Darling clutched Wendy's hand. "George! Oh George! A poisoned apple! My little girl - she's poisoned! Poisoned!"

Mr. Darling looked sickened. He faltered as Mrs. Darling wailed into his bathrobe.

"Poisoned! Forever poisoned! Oh my Wendy! What shall we do?"

"Stop crying!" Jim wrenched Mr. and Mrs. Darling from the nursery. "And go get Mickey Mouse! Wendy _and_ Peter have been poisoned by the Evil Queen - "

"Evil Queen?" stammered The Darlings.

"Ruff!" Nana howled.

"Yes!" Jim said, overstepping Nana. "The Evil Queen! This is all a game to the villains - a stupid game! Maleficent! The Evil Queen! Captain Hook! - "

"You heathen!" Mr. Darling objected. "Not Captain Hook! It's Peter Pan - it _must_ be Peter Pa - "

"Oh my god! Give it a rest!" Jim pushed Mr. Darling downstairs. "Captain Hook is the villain - not Peter! Hook's been playing you this _whole_ time AND screwing Wendy for a personal vendetta! All Peter ever did was take Wendy on a freaking adventure and _maybe_ learn to care for someone more than himself! But GUESS WHAT - ?"

Jim kicked the front door. It banged on its hinges.

"Now we'll never know! Peter and Wendy are poisoned! Might as well bury them alive and let them rot! Unless you GO - GET - MICKEY - MOUSE! "

Jim shoved The Darlings into the street - pajamas, bathrobes, slippers and all. Without waiting for a response, he slammed the door, charged upstairs, and dropped nose to nose with Captain Hook.

"Talk." Jim growled. "What did you do to her?"

Captain Hook smiled. It was rather brave of him, actually. The attack had placed him in a most uncompromising position. Literally. He was pinned to the wall with Merida's arrows, bound like a mummy with Rapunzel's hair, and nearly beheaded by Ariel and Flynn. Certainly, Captain Hook was stuck.

However, he also had an excellent view of Peter and Wendy. The children lay together, perished. Captain Hook widened his smile. He'd lost this battle - but he'd _absolutely_ won the war.

Captain Hook returned to Jim. "You'll have to be more specific. What did I do to _whom_? Come now boy, you are something of a pirate. Didn't that cyborg _teach_ you? Specificity is indispensable to any parlay. If...you want to get out alive."

"This isn't a parlay." Jim grasped the hook. "This is an interrogation. And _you_ should know that _any_ pirate interrogation - "

Jim yanked Captain Hook's arm through Rapunzel's hair. Brusquely, he punched down. Blood squirted as the metal hook gouged the captain's thigh.

Jim waited for the screaming to stop.

" - involves torture." he finished. "Which normally, I'm against. But - "

Jim leaned into the hook. He felt skin and muscle rip.

"But that cyborg you mentioned - Silver?" Jim glared. "Silver did teach me. He _taught_ me to pick my fights carefully. So when I pick them, I go all out. So...I'll ask again."

Jim twisted. He maintained pressure as Captain Hook recoiled.

"What the _Hell_ did you do to Wendy?"

Captain Hook panted. He struggled against Jim.

"What did I do? I? _I did nothing_. _Nothing!_ The little wench bit the apple - I did not bite it for her!"

"Jim." Ariel hovered over Peter. Her hand was on his head. "Jim. Come here."

Jim drove the hook deeper.

"That's a lie." he said, speaking over Ariel. "That's a dirty lie. Pan said it himself - one girl is worth more than twenty boys. Wendy is smart. She wouldn't eat a poisoned apple unless _someone_ tricked her."

Flynn almost threw up as Jim jerked the hook upward.

"Unless _someone_ F'd with her mind so badly," Jim continued. "She became scared of her best friend. So come on _captain_."

Captain Hook grunted as blood spilled over Jim's fingers.

"What did you do to Wendy?" Jim demanded. "You and Peter have a grudge - we get it. Peter cut off your hand and threw it to the crocodile, so you try to kill each other. Super. Great. Whatever. What you and Peter do is _your_ vendetta. _Yours_. _Not Wendy's_."

Jim pointed back.

"You _wanted_ Peter. Why the Hell did you have to hurt her?"

Captain Hook considered. His eyes flickered to Wendy.

Then, he looked at Jim.

"Two reasons." he whispered. "First...it was _so_ _dreadfully_ fun."

"Kill him." Flynn said, raising his pan. Merida stretched an arrow. Rapunzel tightened her knots.

Jim held up a hand, staying their fire.

"And second?" he said.

"And second?" Captain Hook laughed. Grotesquely, he rotated his leg, allowing tissue to squish beneath his hook.

"And second!" Captain Hook said with a twisted, psychotic smile. "Look! Look what I have done! Look! Tis better than knives, guns, cannons, or whips! Tis better than beheading, hanging, or ripping out Pan's heart! YES!"

Captain Hook lunged against Rapunzel's ropes. He was insane with triumph.

"YES! I hurt Wendy! I made her believe Peter Pan had touched her, exploited her, and abused her in her sleep! I dirtied her innocence with fear! I turned her hero into a villain! I made Wendy Darling _hate_ Peter Pan! YES! _I hurt her_! BECAUSE, my fellow pirate - "

Captain Hook's eyes were red as the blood pooling under his boot.

"Because it was only by hurting Wendy, that I could hurt Peter Pan. Hurt him...to death."

Jim stared. Slowly, he released the hook.

"You hurt Wendy." Jim said. "To hurt Peter the most. And...vice versa. Well..."

He looked up. "You know what that means?"

Captain Hook started. The response was unexpected - and a little unflattering. He'd hoped for disgust.

" _What does it mean_?" Captain Hook nodded savagely at Wendy and Peter. "It means they are worthless. Worthless for love."

Starlight streaked Jim's face.

"Actually it means...they love each other."

Captain Hook gagged. Love - in that context - was a profane word.

" _Love_?" Captain Hook sneered. "Love? Blasted boy - look at them! They are worthless - "

"They died for each other." Jim said. "Sort of. Eternal sleep. But still - it was for each other."

"And when you care about someone more than yourself..." Rapunzel smiled at Flynn "...it's called love."

"Aye. Like Aengus - er Cupid. Straight through evil." Merida aimed her arrow at Captain Hook's nose. "Right te the heart."

"Well, well." Flynn twirled his frying pan. "Eat that, scumbag."

" _Jim_." Ariel called. Wide-eyed, she motioned from the bed. "Jim. Come over here. _Now_. Something is happening."

Jim turned. Suddenly, Mr. Darling's voice rumbled from downstairs.

"This way Mickey Mouse! Up to the nursery! By jove, if they've fled with my daughter I'll - !"

"Oh quickly!" Mrs. Darling wailed. "Quickly! There was an apple! A poisoned apple!"

Jim joined Ariel. Rapunzel, Merida, Flynn, and Captain Hook leaned as he spoke.

"What is it?"

Ariel pointed. "It's Peter. Look. He's - "

Jim gripped the bedsheets. "He's _breathing_!"

" _What_?" Captain Hook hissed.

Footsteps ascended the stairs.

"Come on gang!" Mickey Mouse's voice urged. "Donald! Goofy! Minnie! Pluto! Step to!"

"How is he breathing?" Jim crossed the bedside. He leaned over Wendy, inspecting Peter's face. It wasn't much improved. Peter still resembled a cadaver; but he _was_ breathing.

"How?" Jim took Peter's head. Ignoring Captain Hook, he rotated it experimentally. Ariel completed the turn as Jim reached over Wendy. Together they tilted Peter away.

Peter's breathing slowed. Then, it ceased.

Jim froze. He looked at Ariel.

Ariel trembled. "Turn him to her lips."

Jim did. For a moment nothing happened. Then, Peter breathed. Exactly as he had done that first night on _Peter Pan's Flight_ , Peter inhaled the magic inside Wendy's lips. The magic filled him like a balloon and lit him like a starry night.

Jim looked at Ariel. Ariel looked at Jim.

"Invisible..." Ariel whispered. "...like the moon pulling the tide."

"That door!" The Darling's bellowed. Nana barked from the hall. "The nursery is there, Mickey Mouse! Wendy and that rascal Peter Pan are in there!"

Pounding footsteps. The doorknob rattled.

Jim and Ariel nodded. Carefully, Ariel moved Peter. Jim moved Wendy.

"No! What the devil are you -?!" Captain Hook strained against Rapunzel, Merida, and Flynn. He roared as Jim and Ariel angled Wendy and Peter towards each other. "What are you -?!"

"Together?" Jim asked.

Ariel smiled. "Always."

The nursery door popped. Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Pluto, and The Darlings emptied onto the floor.

The room was not well lit. Starlight shimmered here and there, hardly enough to see one's shadow. Still, the scene was transfixing. Everyone watched as Ariel and Jim tilted the sleeping children together...

... and Peter breathed into Wendy's lips.

Deep in sleep, they kissed.

It was so quiet. Utterly quiet. Even Captain Hook could not spoil true love's kiss.

If indeed, it was true love...


	35. C35:The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn

**Chapter 35: The Greatest Thing You'll _Ever_ Learn**

The kiss faded.

Nothing.

Then,

"Peter..." Wendy breathed.

Peter smiled. Gently, he touched her cheek. "Yes?"

Wendy choked.

"...I remember." she sobbed, wrapped in Peter's arms. "I remember."


	36. Chapter 36: In Your FACE!

**Chapter 36: In Your FACE!**

 _Of course_ it was true love. Love might be star-crossed, but it can also be true.

However, love can also be forbidden.

"No! NO!"

Captain Hook thrashed. Merdia's arrows popped free as he wrenched against Rapunzel's hair. He lunged, buckling over his injured leg and slamming onto the bed. Flynn seized Rapunzel's hair, but Captain Hook was unsurmountable with rage.

"No!" he barked, chopping his hook at Wendy. He hacked at her eyes, but Peter pulled and the hook caught her hair.

"No! Tis not true love! Tis NOT!"

Although he was restrained, Captain Hook assaulted the children through his ropes. Tangled in hair, he twisted Wendy's neck until she cried.

"Stop!" Mickey Mouse protested. "Stop! Stop! It's true love! Captain Hook stop! The evil is undone, the spell is broken – it's true love!"

Donald, Goofy, Pluto, and Minnie trampled by The Darlings. Hot on Mickey's tail they quickly retallied the points as Captain Hook snarled at the little mouse. _The score had been left at a tie: 7 to 7. Time for the final round. Winner takes all._

"It is NOT – " Captain Hook clawed Wendy. "TRUE LOVE! I made them worthless for it! I made her hate him! I made her fear him! I made - "

Peter pounced. Bouncing over Wendy, he reared back a fist and –

 _Whack_!

Captain Hook staggered. Red gook shattered from his nostrils as his nose exploded beneath Peter's fist. Tripping over Rapunzel's hair, he collided into Jim, Merida, Ariel, and Flynn, all of whom locked him like iron chains. His nose was broken, his scheme was crushed, his was dignity was gone.

But Peter was not through. Not nearly.

"You codfish!"

"Wait, Peter!" Flynn grabbed Rapunzel's head. He pushed down, and Rapunzel ducked as Peter swung at Captain Hook. Ariel and Jim swerved, forcing Peter to miss.

"Pan!" Jim called as Merida cheered. "Pan! Hold it – we still need him to confess – "

"He confessed!" Peter swung again. Furiously he seized Captain Hook's justaucorps. "He tricked Wendy! He hurt her! He made her cry! He made her not ache for me! He – "

"— _lied_!"

Wendy appeared aside Peter. And before anyone could stop her, she slapped the captain's broken nose.

"Whoa!" Peter snatched Wendy's wrist. Beaming, he pulled her back as she attempted a second swipe. It wouldn't be proper for Wendy to bruise her hand. So Peter afforded her a _very_ sincere compliment instead. " _Nice_ shot!"

The compliment was appreciated, but disregarded in her anger.

"He lied!" Wendy stood as Peter forced her to sit on the bed. Flushed, she confronted Captain Hook.

"He lied! He lied! _He lied_! He told filthy, wicked, unthinkable lies! He said that Peter – that Peter – _hurt_ me! While I slept! _It was a lie_! He said Peter hurt me for fun without care, or concern, or – "

" _How do you know_?" Captain Hook roared through a bloody mustache. "You worthless little wretch! How do you know? How do you know Peter Pan did not touch your pure white body and slaughter your shining white virtue – "

" _Because I REMEMBER_!"

Wendy trembled so violently her bow unraveled.

"I remember!" Wendy cried. "I remember everything! I remember Peter asking me on our date! I remember Peter protecting me when you kidnapped us and made me walk the plank. I remember kissing Peter one second to midnight! I remember your lies, and your hate, and your filthy mind! I remember everything – and nothing you can say, imagine, or do can _ever_ take it away because you are the most evil, despicable, worthless creature in the world! I REMEMBER Captain Hook! _I remember Peter Pan saying he loves me on our second date_!"

Blood dripped into Captain Hook's open mouth. The Darlings, similarly astounded, gaped at their daughter with the remaining company of friends. Had Peter been less stunned, he would have found his senses and kissed Wendy all over again. Maybe twice.

No one could outshine Wendy's rage.

Except perhaps, Mickey Mouse.

"Captain Hook." Mickey fired imaginary guns. "In. Yo'. Face."

Donald, Goofy, and Pluto agreed: _A zillion points awarded. Mickey wins. Captain Hook sucks. Game over._

Needless to say, Captain Hook was promptly dismissed of all services to The Darlings. He was then dumped down a deep dark tunnel where he could beg solace from unsympathetic villains and a very angry pixie.

Peter was exalted. Spinning, he hugged Wendy as if to never let her go.

"We did it, Wendy. We did it! They can't catch us. They can't stop us. You and me – forever!"

"Aw." said Rapunzel.

Jim and Ariel smiled. They held hands. Merida shot a celebratory arrow – just for kicks.

"But I don't get it." Flynn said. It was almost midnight, and the past hour had been exhausted with explanations (" _What's a date_?"), condemnations (" _Nutty ol' Captain Hook_!"), and vehement apologies (on part of The Darlings to Peter Pan). Still, Flynn was a tad confused.

"I get the rising-from-the-dead-because-of -true-love's-kiss thing. By the way…" Flynn paused for a salute. "Kids – congrats."

Peter grinned. Since her outburst Wendy hadn't spoken, but she glowed as Peter gave ecstatic thanks.

"But," Flynn continued. "That still doesn't explain how Wendy remembers the second date. Someone - answer me that!"

They reflected.

"Magic?" Rapunzel said – it seemed the easiest answer.

"Luck?" shrugged Merida – she had no idea. They had won and that was the most important thing.

"True love?" offered Ariel – since meeting Jim, her new mantra was true love.

"Brain rewiring?" Jim said – only because Ariel had taken true love.

Mickey Mouse deliberated. He considered the choices as Mr. and Mrs. Daring debated whether Wendy was too young for true love.

Suddenly, his ears perked.

"Ah! Of course! Ha-huh! It was a forbidden kiss." Mickey said.

"Forbidden kiss?"

Peter cast The Darlings a wary glance. "I did it anyway." he edged closer to Wendy. "And I would do it again. Forbidden or not."

"Exactly!" Mickey explained. "You see, kisses are powerful things! But each has a different power. And the forbidden kiss, binds lovers in secret understanding. So, when you kissed…"

"They unlocked the secret?" Rapunzel guessed, hand raised like a student. "The secret of why their love was forbidden?"

Mickey nodded, pleased. "Yup! And the secret involved everything, including the events before, during, and after the date. So…"

He smiled at Wendy. "Wendy would have to remember. Cool, huh?"

Pluto barked. Nana agreed.

"Then why didn't Wendy remember after the first kiss?" Jim asked. "That was forbidden? Right?"

Mickey winked. "No more forbidden than two _Disney_ characters from separate movies dating in the real world. And if what you say is true, the date night was a special circumstance. Anything was possible, anything was allowed. So…Wendy and Peter's kiss was technically not forbidden. Just very special."

"I'll say!" Peter nudged Wendy. "The cleverness of me, huh? I saved the day!"

Wendy blushed. "What do you mean?"

Peter puffed with pride.

"I saved the day!" he repeated loudly. "I _knew_ you'd kiss me if I ate that poisoned apple!"

The room lurched. Wide eyes and open mouths turned to Peter.

Wendy was aghast. " _You_ _what_?"

"WAIT." Flynn pointed his pan. "You – did – that – on –purpose? You bit the apple – just to get a kiss?"

Peter smiled triumphantly. "Yup! I knew Wendy couldn't live without me! She aches for me, after all! So I bit the apple!"

Wolfishly, Peter drew Wendy to his lips. "Twice! So I deserve one more –"

 _Smack!_

Not long ago, Jim Hawkins introduced Peter to the idea of 'a kiss.' He explained the mysterious concept, but cautioned Peter not to try it on Wendy. _Wendy was a good girl_ , Jim had warned, _and if Peter attempted a kiss, she would probably punch the pixie dust right out of him._

Well, it came to pass.

As Jim had predicted, Wendy Darling punched the pixie dust right out of Peter Pan. She scolded him for biting the poisoned apple. She scolded him for his conceit. And she scolded him for just being Peter Pan!

Then, she kissed him good and proper like a lady should.

* * *

 **sultal's note: PROPS go to** **AngelaLove072101 for the "In Your Face" line.**

 **And I have to say - between you guys and the Wattpad folks, these are THE funniest comments I have EVER read. Omgosh the "Hook Haters" "Ariel/Jim shippers" "Peter/Wendy lovers" just SO great! Almost as fun as writing the thing!**

 **ONE MORE CHAPTER! LETS. DO. THIS.**

 **Happy Halloween! Be safe. Eat candy. keep writing.**


	37. Chapter 37: La Vie En Rose

**Chapter 37: La Vie En Rose**

What a whirlwind! What a cataclysmic adventure! What a story that precipitated from a simple request: A request for one special night out of an eternity. A request to learn. A request to love. A request to go on a date.

It would be only natural to wonder: did _Disney World_ change? What effect did the magical influx have on the happiest place on Earth?

Well, not much. Not much at all.

To the untrained eye, _Disney World_ appears very unchanged. The princes and princesses continue to bop comfortably along to their happily-ever-afters. The villains still try to throw all happily-ever-afters in the trash. Mickey Mouse and magical friends do their utmost to protect the heroes and keep the villains at bay. Rapunzel and Flynn are still deliriously in love, and spend their nights snogging in _Peter Pan's Flight_. Merida continues to maintain that being single is awesome. Tinkerbell is still green with envy. And Captain Hook will forever remain a dirty rotten codfish.

See? Clearly, nothing has really changed.

Unless...you look between blinks. For if you concentrate, you may notice: somethings _have_ changed.

First, should you visit _Ariel's Grotto_ , take a second glance. It might be helpful to have a picture of Ariel, just for reference. Because, the Ariel you are seeing may be an imposter – especially if Prince Eric is nearby. The actress may be a double, a look-alike, a doppelgänger. In fact, it may be the redhead from _Mermaid Lagoon_ flirting with Prince Eric as Ariel and Jim...well...that's their business. But rest assured – they are finally part of each other's world.

But what of Wendy and Peter Pan?

Well, this _is_ their story. So I suppose it's permissible for us to drop in.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"It's all a little pink."

Wendy pirouetted. She smiled as Peter turned her under his arm.

It was Thursday night. She had won the Dressing Room Challenge (again), and raced with Peter to _The Partner's_ statue. After admiring Mr. Walt Disney's memorial she had anticipated reenacting the _Peter Pan_ script as either herself or Peter, and climbed expectantly onto the stone pedestal.

But Peter had a different idea.

Stars had spilled across the sky. Loudspeakers were singing a lovely song. Wendy looked incredibly pretty. He was irresistibly charming.

So Peter asked:

"Wanna go on a date?"

Radiantly, Wendy had accepted Peter's hand. "Of course."

It was a little date, hardly a handful of dances between bashful smiles. But it was enough. More than enough. For as Jim once observed: dates build memories from the _special_ and _non-special_ _stuff_.

Wendy folded into Peter.

"What is a little pink?" she asked, following his graceful steps.

Without pausing the dance, Peter flourished at the sky.

"Everything." he said, "Since your kiss, everything is a little pink."

Swaying gently, Peter locked his hands around Wendy's waist. "Why is that? Because I ache for you?"

Wendy bit her lip. She giggled.

"What?" Peter smiled, enchanted by her mannerism. The motion surprised him every time. Helplessly Peter gazed at her lips. "What's so funny, little lady?"

Wendy blushed. Shyly, she drifted away.

"It's..." Wendy sat under _The Partner's Statue_. She fingered her thimble. "...it's not called _ache_. Actually..."

Peter cocked his head. Suddenly remembering, he retrieved his acorn kiss.

"What's it called?" he asked, flying behind Wendy. Smoothing aside her hair he fastened the necklace. The acorn pendant slid down the string and fell over her heart. Right where it belonged.

Peter leaned over Wendy's shoulder."You tricked me before, little Wendy. _Whatsa kis_ s... _thimble_...ha!"

He whispered, tickling her ear. "So what's it called...if it's not called _ache_?"

Wendy turned. They rubbed noses as she returned Peter's thimble necklace.

"It's...called..." Wendy set the clasp. The thimble glittered as she whispered. "...love."

Peter scratched his head. "...hm. Strange. Lemmie try."

Peter took Wendy's chin. He tilted up. Gently, he strummed her lower lip.

"I... _love_ ...you?"

Wendy smiled. "...very good."

"And you... _love_ me?"

"Forever."

"Really?" Peter sparkled. "That's an awfully long time!"

Wendy sparkled back. "Oh Peter."

"Oh Wendy." Peter leaned. "I love you."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

It seems, dear readers, _Disney World_ had changed.

But, don't expect these birdseye views! That was a privilege of this story! As I said: in _Disney World_ you must look between blinks.

So the next time you visit that magical place, find Wendy and Peter. Look between blinks! And if you are lucky, you _might_ catch Peter Pan pretending to laugh in Wendy's ear. Mouth happy and full, he will give her a little kiss.

Now, Wendy is a lady. So you must watch _very_ carefully – because she usually returns it with a 'thimble' of her own.

 **THE END**


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